May 10, 2012

A True Picture of the Kingdom

My guess is that if you're reading the SmallGroups.com blog, you probably already have a beautiful picture of what biblical community looks like. You probably try to help others get involved in community through small groups. You probably even have stories of how being in community has changed lives--maybe even your own.

But have you ever felt awkward in community? Or wished you could live in community with only people of your choosing--those that are like you, with few major issues, and do an equal amount of talking and listening? I'm not afraid to admit I've had those thoughts!

In a recent post on the Kyria Culture Blog, Amy Simpson shares how she had a major realization when she was out of her element--wearing different clothes and talking with a different accent from those around her. She was uncomfortable. But she also found something beautiful in the awkward situation. Read her post here.

posted by Amy Jackson | Comments (0)

May 8, 2012

Too Focused on the Bible?

A healthy small group focuses on building relationships that help us grow into Christlikeness. That's why getting to know one another, studying Scripture, and praying for one another are so important. But what happens when you have a group member who is too focused on the Bible study? It's good to want to learn more about God, but it's probably creating an imbalance in your group dynamics. What may be easy for you to see is probably a blindspot for your Bible-loving group member.

Allen White, a regular contributor to SmallGroups.com, recently wrote a blog post that offers five signs that a group member is too focused on the study--even that the study has become an idol in his or her life. Read it today.

What have you done to help group members focus on all aspects of group life, not just the study?

posted by Amy Jackson | Comments (0)

May 4, 2012

True Listening Is Important

This week we added a new resource to our long list of Training Tools: Helping Group Members Become Great Listeners. We've had another listening resource, Becoming a Great Listener, for many years, but small-group leaders kept asking, "How do I help my group members learn how to listen?"

Listening well is really difficult, and not many people are all that good at it. But group members need to learn to listen well if we're going to have healthy, transformational small groups. Helping group members with these skills requires leaders to model them well. Plus, leaders need to learn how to make the most of teachable moments and to confront those who are not listening well. But before all that, we need to convince group members that listening well actually matters.

In her article, "The Heart of Listening," Beatrice Rusu explains why listening is so important--not just in small groups, but in all relationships. Here's what she writes:

Listening is important in all relationships. In fact, you can't have a relationship if you do not listen to the other person. This is true of our relationship with God as well as our relationships with others.

Listening builds relationship in a variety of ways. It is foundational to any relationship because it communicates to the speaker that he or she has value and is worthy of your time and attention. Listening means slowing down to hear and process what the speaker is saying. As we listen to others, we also can identify things we hold in common. Our similarities can bring us together, but this requires the process of discovery through mutual sharing and listening. Listening also helps build trust in relationships. When you feel listened to and valued, you are more likely to open up more. When someone can be trusted to care about a small concern you have, you are more likely to share something significant with this person in the future.

We also know listening is important because the Bible tells us God listens. The Psalms tell of God listening to the cry of the afflicted (10:17, 22:24) and the prayer of the pure in heart (66:18–19). There are also many passages that tell us God listens to his people Israel (Numbers 21:3, Joshua 10:14).

Jesus exemplified the way God listens and cares for people in his interaction with the invalid at the pool of Bethesda in John 5. Paul E. Miller describes it like this, "When Jesus is with someone, that person is the only person in the room. Jesus slows down and concentrates on one person at a time. … This one-person focus is how love works. Love incarnates by slowing down and focusing on just the beloved. We don't love in general; we love one person at a time."

To read the rest of her article, and to gain lots of insight on helping your group members become great listeners, check out our downloadable resource. And to see a sample article, see Show Them How.

posted by Amy Jackson | Comments (1)

May 3, 2012

What Are the Biggest Issues You're Facing in Small-Group Ministry?

At SmallGroups.com, we spend a lot of time creating great resources to help small-group directors, coaches, hosts, and leaders. From our inspiring and helpful articles to our super practical training tools, we hope to provide your small-group ministry with exactly the resources it needs.

So, we want to hear from you. What are the biggest issues you're facing in your small-group ministry? Do you have questions about training leaders? Wonder how to handle tough situations related to group dynamics? Curious about what you should study next?

Tell us below. We're all ears!

posted by Amy Jackson | Comments (0)

April 27, 2012

Do You Own an e-Reader?

Ever since e-readers came out, I've stuck my nose up at them. I couldn't imagine reading something on a screen instead of holding soft paper pages, smelling the ink and mustiness of an old book, and placing a crazy amount of tiny flags on the pages with the best quotations.

For Christmas, though, I got a Kindle Touch, and everything has changed. While I still enjoy holding a paper book from time to time, there is nothing like having numerous books with you—in a light, easy-on-the-eyes device. I'm actually reading more now, and I'm reading a wider variety of things, too.

Do you own a Kindle or NOOK? If so, browse the selection of e-books from our sister ministries Christianity Today magazine, Kyria, and Christian Bible Studies. Currently we offer over 90 e-books from "How to Pick a President" to "Sabbath Rest in a World of Stress" to a Bible study on "Dealing with Sexual Temptation."

One of SmallGroup.com's most popular resources, Leading a Life-Changing Bible Study, is also available in e-book form. Check them out, and let us know what you think.

What other SmallGroups.com resources would you like to see in e-book format?

posted by Amy Jackson | Comments (0)

April 25, 2012

Remembering Charles Colson

On Saturday, April 21, Charles Colson died at the age of 80. Evangelicals have lost an influential voice.

Ever heard or used the term “born again”? You owe it to Charles Colson. But in the 1970’s, he seemed an unlikely person to popularize the phrase. He gained fame as President Nixon’s advisor and through his involvement in Watergate. After his conversion, though, he became one of the best known American evangelical voices of all time.

Chuck Colson is a person worth knowing about—especially the story of his spiritual journey. Read his obituary from Christianity Today magazine and a tribute from the author of his biography.

Interested in learning from him? Be sure to use our study Charles Colson on Social Responsibility with your group.

posted by Amy Jackson | Comments (0)

April 20, 2012

Restoring Harmony

Our most recent digizine, Troubleshooting, includes a helpful article from Les Parrott on what to do when we learn two of our group members are at odds. If you're in small-group ministry long enough, you're bound to run into this scenario, and it's difficult to know how to walk with the group members through the situation. Les offers some great tips, including understanding why conflict occurs, deciding whether it's something that should be worked out during a group meeting or outside the group context, and rebuilding respect. He also tells group leaders to focus on forgiveness. Here's what he has to say:

When someone slights you, offends you, or deeply hurts you, the urge to respond in kind is natural: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. The problem with this urge is that we don't know when to step. If we lose an eye, we want more than an eye in return. We don't want to balance the scales; we want them tipped in our favor. And once we feel the compensation is satisfactory, the other person takes his turn at punishing us again. The cycle repeats itself over and over.

Forgiveness puts an end to all that. Our primal urge for "balancing the score" comes to a screeching halt when we set our pride aside and begin to forgive. It's for our own advantage, too. Because getting even takes its toll on the one seeking revenge. When Jesus tells us to "turn the other cheek" or "go the extra mile," he is not telling us to give our enemy some advantage over us. He is not telling us to be cowards. Cheek-turning is for your own protection. Once you free yourself from a desire to hurt back, you put an end to your vindictive spirit and save yourself from further harm.

But let's get real. How do we help this happen when two group members are at odds? How do we help them forgive? It begins by gently asking if either one is willing to set their pride aside and try their best to see the situation from the other person's perspective. If neither party is willing to take this crucial step, press the pause button. They need more time to cool down. The problems that plague relationships are rarely 100 percent one person's fault. In time, one of them is likely to set their foolish pride aside. And that's when an apology and genuine forgiveness can occur.

This is critical because, in truth, the proverbial scales can never be balanced. "Do not repay anyone evil for evil," says the apostle Paul, instead "live at peace." That's the result of forgiveness: peace. And it sets the tone for the next step in repairing the relationship.

When have you experienced true forgiveness? When have you helped group members forgive one another? Share with us below.

For the rest of the article, check it out in our Troubleshooting digizine.

posted by Amy Jackson | Comments (0)

April 17, 2012

Leaving the Neat and Tidy Behind

My husband and I have greatly enjoyed being part of our current small group. We joined only five months ago, and already we've fallen in love with this group's missional mindset. The group members always have their eyes open for opportunities to bless others. It's been a growing experience for us. We've been stretched out of our comfort zones, and we're compelled to look for other opportunities to care and serve.

If there's one thing I've learned about being missional, though, it's that it's messy. It doesn't fall in neat boxes. It doesn’t stick to normal lines. It doesn't even have a clear cause and effect. Regardless, though, there's a definite sense that you're doing what God calls his followers to do—show the love of Jesus to others.

A few months ago, our group decided to throw a housewarming party for a woman who was recently homeless. Now in an apartment with a young son, she had nothing—no silverware, no plates, no pans. She didn't even know how to cook. We showed up at her apartment on a rainy night. More than 15 of us stood in her small living room, giving her our gifts, helping her put things away. One couple brought a slow cooker with several recipes, offering to show her how to prepare them. The woman was overwhelmed and quietly put the items away. We didn't know the right things to do or say, yet we stayed for over an hour just loving on her, laughing at jokes, sharing stories, and listening to music. We didn't know what our gifts would mean to the woman, but we tried to be Jesus' hands and feet . . . and that's all we could do.

More recently our group attended a baby shower for a refugee woman from Kenya. We were surprised by the differences in the culture—from how they celebrated to the music they listened to. As we worked our way through the buffet line, we didn't recognize any of the food. But we were lucky to try spicy gizzards, bananas and beans, and sweet bread. It was definitely out of our comfort zone: we were with people we didn't know, surrounded by cultural nuances we didn't understand. Yet it was beautiful to celebrate this baby with them. And we learned a lot that night about their culture. Now we can't wait to party with them again. They definitely taught us a thing or two about celebrating.

In five months, we've had more experiences like this than I've had in any other small group. And I think it's because this small group is doing something right—they're willing to be uncomfortable in order to reach people far from God, to better understand our Christian brothers and sisters from other backgrounds and cultures, and to provide for the least of these. I've wondered aloud to my husband why our past isn't filled with these kinds of experiences. But we know the answer—it's just too messy. How do you program something like this? How do you keep group members from getting frustrated when things are uncomfortable? How do you teach group members the value in simply being present with others? How do you help people understand that we should obey Jesus regardless of the outcome?

I'm reminded, though, of how often Jesus was willing to step out of the norm, including when he ate with Matthew's friends in Matthew 9. Why does ministry have to be neat and tidy? Life isn't. If we're going to meet people where they're at, we're going to have to leave the neat and tidy behind.

For more information on being a missional small group check out: Eliminating the Walls Between Insider and Outsider Activities, Resource Review: Missional Small Groups, and Instill the Vision in Your Small-Group Leaders.

posted by Amy Jackson | Comments (0)

April 12, 2012

A Culture of Consumerism

When I've heard pastors and church leaders talk, I get the feeling that we may have shot ourselves in the foot. That is, by communicating that small groups are all about meeting my needs for community, friendship, and spiritual growth, we've created a culture of consumerism. And when a group member doesn't feel his or her needs are being met, leaders hear about it.

But is the main goal of small groups to cater to the needs of group members—to provide a safe place where they can gain friends and have fun? Or is the purpose of small groups a bit deeper?

This video from difted.com explains that sharing what we've been given is our true purpose. It states that "pouring them out onto the world around us might leave us with more than we thought." Instead of trying to fill up my bucket more and more, it's about sharing what I've got with others. And I want to ask you: how can we emphasize this in the way we market small groups?

How do we emphasize that small groups are a place to serve and give of ourselves so that we all experience more abundant growth? Share with us below.

give fast pray from Difted on Vimeo.

posted by Amy Jackson | Comments (0)

April 10, 2012

Next Generation Needs

Did you know that the largest generation today is the Millennials—those born between 1980 and 2000? It's a hopeful generation that believes in helping people and accomplishing things for the greater good. It's a generation seeking roots of meaning and careers of purpose. It's a generation deciding what they want their lives to be about.

And only 25 percent attend church weekly. Almost two-thirds never attend. (So if you're thinking you haven't seen these hopeful, helpful people in your church, you're probably right.)

What will it take to reach this generation with the compelling mission of Christ? Sam S. Rainer III says it will take a new type of authority. Check out his intriguing article from our sister resource Leadership Journal.

Then let us know below: what can small groups do to reach Millennials?

posted by Amy Jackson | Comments (0)