Lunch with a Legend

A very cool story from one of the pioneers of today's small-group ministry

by Sam O'Neal

I just got back from a story-telling lunch with Lyman Coleman. I think the best word to describe it would be inspirational. If you're not familiar with Lyman's story, it is worth doing a little research to find out. (And I'll see if I can get a chat with him on video sometime this afternoon--no promises.)

But Lyman told one story that I think everyone involved with small groups needs to hear.

One thing that I've known about Lyman for a little while is that he is deeply, deeply in love with his wife. They were married for 43 years when she passed away a couple years ago, but I can't use the past tense when I talk about Lyman's feelings for her. He is deeply in love with her still--present tense.

In the lunch today, he talked about how his small group came around him after she died. It was a group of guys, and they had a tradition where every week they would get together and talk about what they were going to do that would contribute to their mission of building God's kingdom. After his wife passed away, Lyman told his group, "I lost my wife, and I just can't do anything for my mission this week."

Well, his group let him get away with that for about six months. Then they asked him, "Lyman, what are you going to do for your mission this week?" Again, Lyman said that he had nothing to contribute after the passing of his wife. And his group said, "Okay, Lyman. We'd like you to go down to the basement and leave the light off. We want you to sit quietly and think, and don't come back up here until you've had an idea."

So Lymnan went downstairs and thought. After an hour he came back up and said, "I've had an idea. I'm going to talk with my pastor this week and see if he'll let me start a men's small group in the church." His group members said, "That's great, Lyman. Welcome back to the group."

After he told the story at our lunch today, Lyman said, "You just can't do it alone anymore." And I think he's right.

I also don't know if I would have been able to do what the members in Lyman's small group did if one of my close friends were hurting--I don't know if I would have the guts. Actually, I don't know if I would have had the guts to receive those words if I were in Lyman's position.

What about you?

posted by Sam O'Neal on February 20, 2009 3:33 PM

Comments

It sounds as though Lyman's small group had been together for years. If so, I'm sure that helped his fellow members to have the courage to give him a tough word. And for Lyman to receive it with grace. But even if your group isn't a brand new start-up, that would be a tough situation to navigate.

Yep, Lyman's right. The test of a small group is usually not what happens during the group meeting itself, but what group members do on their own for one another when a need arises.

Lyman's story is a great example.

I can think of some people I'd like to tell to go sit in the basement with the light off...but that's not really the point, is it?

My small group meets for the first time this week, and eventually I hope we'll be able to challenge one another like this. Lyman's story is a great example—and an inspiration—for those hoping to form a sincere and encouraging small group.

Thanks for sharing this, Sam.

Powerful story. This makes me want to go even deeper with friends.

Lyman is the man!