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March 20, 2009
Pictures of Multiplication
Which of these images best describes your experience with producing new small groups?
I've been working this week on a downloadable training resources that will (Lord willing) help churches successfully multiply their small groups. As I've been reading and reviewing a lot of material on the subject, I've come up with two interesting observations. (They are interesting to me, at least.)
First, there are plenty of churches, coaches, and group leaders who do not want to multiply their small groups. This is usually due to a bad experience, or multiple bad experiences, and they would prefer their groups to stay together for long periods of time and grow deep, deep roots.
Second, there are three images that keep popping up whenever people write about multiplying small groups, and I've tried to visualize them above. One is the idea of "birthing." Another is "dividing," and this is usually accompanied by an explanation of cellular mitosis and meiosis (my 6th grade science teacher would be proud that I still remember those terms). And the final image is the idea of "splitting," which usually comes to mind for those who have had negative experiences.
Now, there's no way that we can come up with a consensus on which image is best or most appropriate for actual ministry. But I'm curious how you respond to these images. Have you had an experience in the past that is well represented by one of these pictures? Is there a different image you would use to describe small-group multiplication?
If something comes to mind, don't be shy! We want to hear your thoughts, so please take a moment and type them out.
posted by Sam O'Neal on March 20, 2009 10:59 AM
Comments
Recently, our small group of close to 10 years was "split".
The photograph of the woman ripping the tissue is how I would identify with what transpired. It was a very sad and frustrating set of events that culminated in the split. They included selfishness, callusion, antagonism and plotting. The difficult thing was that the split was not an actual 'result' of these negative behaviors, but rather a planning and plotting outside the group that made it happen. The trust of the group was torn down and literally thrown out the window. It was never discussed, as a group. Feelings were never shared, as a group. One person took it upon herself to gather 'evidence' and support for her 'side' and their decision was to split...I could go on and on about how it was mis handled, but it should suffice to say that those of us who were the most deeply affected, have remained together, supporting, loving and trusting each other. We have realized and understand that God is in control of even this painful event. We wish the others well in their lives and pray God uses this for their edification as well.
Posted By: Cathy | March 25, 2009 1:25 PM
I have seen some pretty negative stuff with failed small group "splits". But, i've also observed how unhealthy small groups can become that just want to stay together forever. Eventually, it seems those types of groups end on a sour note too, so I don't think avoiding multiplication is the answer.
Actually, what has proven to be the best method we've had is to "send out" a leader or couple of people to go start another group. This avoids the whole dilemma of people needing to choose if they are going to stay or go, because only 1-3 people go, while the group stays intact.
We also have found that it's important to talk about it being a very natural part of healthy small groups and discipleship. People are afraid of it and don't understand, and often feel very insecure. When you can show them the positives (more opportunities for more people to find Jesus and learn about him) they are usually supportive.
Posted By: Becky | March 25, 2009 2:16 PM
When I first came to my church and got involved in Small Groups, I became a leader in training and attended monthly training meetings of all of our small group leaders and other LITs. We talked about birthing new groups and splitting or dividing were considered inappropriate words. The idea seemed to be that each leader had an LIT and once the group got large enough (somewhere around 16 or more), the LIT would take part of the group and form a new group. The old leader would select a new LIT and the new leader would find a new LIT, and the process would begin again. We were encouraged to set a goal for birthing. Since I came, as far as I know, we have only birthed one new group and it was from the group I was in. I was not the LIT at the time, so the old LIT took the new group and started a new meeting and I became the new LIT in the original group. My metaphor from that one experience is amputation. The new group struggled and finally died. Those people never rejoined groups and most of them left our church.
Due to some health issues of the old leader, I became the leader of the surviving group. Anytime I talked about birthing a new group I encountered strong resistance. Group members were still hurting over the loss of community with those that left and would not entertain doing that again. I eventually stopped discussing it.
I'm now the director of small groups and still struggling with starting new groups. I started one small group by advertising a new group formimg for a six week period. I got a good core together and after six weeks we decided to make a go of it as a permanent small group. But after 6 months the group dissolved. I think the problem was that we just threw together people that had little in common and things just never gelled.
Since then we started new groups during a 40 day Fall campaign. Three new groups were started and two of those survived to this day. That has been the most effective thing we've done since I have been in the church. We will be trying that again this Fall. We are also going to have a Connection Event this Spring and try to start some new groups at that time as well.
Posted By: Benny | March 25, 2009 11:02 PM
Thank you for these stories. I think they are a confirmation that small-groups ministries in general could benefit by being a little more flexible.
Posted By: Sam O'Neal | March 26, 2009 1:37 PM
I also can relate most to the ripping tissue image. I have been involved in small groups for over 20 years and I've found that the more effective your small group is, the more likely any split will be painful and traumatic. If you have a loosely knit social group where there is little emotional investment, then birthing can happen painlessly and successfully. Some people enjoy this type of group. If you have a tight knit group which truly invests in each other and bears each other's burdens (which is, in my humble opinion, the point of having a small group) then there is no way you are going to split it without tears. With strong, godly leadership a static group which is kept small can go on indefinitely without "imploding".
Posted By: Tam | March 26, 2009 1:50 PM
The small group that my husband and I lead birthed about 2 months ago. I was careful to use the term "birth" because I feel it has a more positive connotation than other terms that could be used.
The birthing process went relatively smoothly for us. We began by reinforcing the reasons for birthing.
1) Our group was getting so big we were losing intimacy in our relationships and conversations.
2) Birthing would allow us to become two smaller groups that would be able to start inviting new people to join--which is the whole purpose of small groups to begin with.
3) Birthing would clear the way for us to better fulfill our purpose--to connect people to life in Jesus and fellowship with believers. It's pretty hard to do that in a group of 16 people because it feels like there's no more room at the inn.
After reinforcing this reasoning with the group for several months, we began praying to God that He would raise up a leader or leaders for the new, "birthed" group.
Then we approached members of our group that we felt would make great small group leaders. God answered our prayers by raising up two couples to co-lead the new group.
After we announced the new leaders, we prayed as a group for several weeks to guide each group member to which group they wanted to stick with.
In the end, we split relatively evenly and are beginning the process of growing our groups so we can birth once again.
I think the most important part in the birthing process is to set up the importance of birthing right from the start in your small group. That way, it doesn't come as such a shock once the group gets very large.
Birthing a group has its moments of difficulty and uncomfortableness, so it's important to keep the mission in mind at all times: birthing allows small groups to continue to connect new people to life in Jesus. Small groups are not cliques!!
Posted By: Betsy Heintz | March 26, 2009 4:31 PM
In our church we use the term "branching" to describe our multiplication process. "Branching" carries the connotation that the new group is still connected to the sending group, just like branches are connected to a tree. Often the branch group will combine with the original group for ministry projects and occasional social events.
Posted By: Jeff | March 27, 2009 4:05 PM