The Friendly Brain?

Relational disposition does not have to determine relational potential

by Dan Lentz

When it comes to folks who don't connect well in small groups, or who are in leadership roles but struggle to connect well with the people they are leading, our tendency is to label them and say there are just some people who don't have the temperament to be a group leader - it's beyond our control. We are also tempted to use the quirkiness of our personality as an excuse for why we do or do not do many things in ministry well.

I was reading an online article from Newsweek Magazine recently that talked about some of the biology behind personality. Recent studies have found "associations between being a people person and the density of gray matter in two brain regions, orbitofrontal cortex (the outer strip just above the eyes) and the ventral striatum (deep in the center of the brain), both known to play a key role in predicting how rewarding something will be. (A high volume or density of gray matter is linked to enhanced cognitive or behavioral function.) Traits, such as being warm, affectionate, agreeable, sociable, amiable or sympathetic . . . reflect an underlying capacity to experience reward elicited by affiliative stimuli," the scientists write - a capacity, simply stated, to take pleasure in social situations.

The Newsweek article also referenced a study published in the European Journal of Neuroscience that confirms that something about the way the brain develops from birth (or earlier) leads some of us to be people persons - "socially gregarious, enjoying the company of others, and some of us to be more to ourselves." However, the other interesting acknowledgement made in the study is that people's experience and behavior might act to alter their brain structure, something for which there is ample (and growing) evidence.

Don't miss that last point. While the research reinforces that personality is something that God has designed us with, part of His craftsmanship in us (Ephesians 2:10), our experiences and behavior can also impact our brain structure. Similar to how we work out our muscles to get in shape, we can work out our brain by intentionally putting ourselves in relational situations. And therefore, we can develop those areas of our brain that give us purpose and fulfillment in relational situations (not to mention the Holy Spirit's transforming work in our lives).

I'm not suggesting that we are trying to change our basic personality, because after all, having one type of personality or another is not a good or bad thing. (And besides, we have available today many tools that help us assess our personality type, and help us understand the weaknesses and strengths associated with our personality type.) No, the point is that all ministry involves relationship and we should not assume that just because someone is not connecting well with others now, that they will always be that way.

All the evidence suggests that regardless of our personality, our experiences and behaviors might actually have an impact on our brain structure and therefore how motivated we are to relate to others.

Of course, I instantly thought about a dozen or so people I have encountered over the years who told me they just couldn't be in a small group or lead a small group because they just didn't do well around people. They just weren't "people persons." I now have something to say to them: You may not be a people person now, but just give authentic community a chance—along with some time and the work of the Spirit—and you might be surprised by what happens!