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July 25, 2011

Margaret Feinberg: When People Leave Your Group

Great advice from one of our sister resources.

Here is a quick excerpt from a blog post written by Margaret Feinberg on our sister website Gifted for Leadership. Click here to read the rest of what Margaret has to say on the subject of people leaving your small group.

Groups. We’ve all been in one where the numbers keep whittling down until it’s just you and the leader left.

When you’re the one leading, what do you do if people start leaving yours?

1. Don’t freak out. This does not stamp you with the World’s Worst Small Group Leader award.

Breathe. Chances are the reason they left has nothing to do with you. Sometimes life happens. Work shifts get moved around, kids have music lessons and baseball games, illnesses and life crises occur. Nothing gets accomplished if you start hyperventilating and then pass out on the floor.

2. Start talking. Ask them to a friendly cup of coffee in a nonthreatening tone and dialogue with them about why they left. Did life merely get hectic? Lend your support and listening ear. Is there anything you can do to encourage them to stay? If the time your small group has decided to meet doesn’t work anymore, can you change it?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:52 AM | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

July 19, 2011

Video of the Week: Difficult Situations

Helpful thoughts from a helpful speaker

I recently came across this video from Josh Surratt, who is the Small Groups Pastor at Seacoast Church in South Carolina.

He's got some good thoughts on handling tough situations within a small group. Here goes:

Dealing With Difficult Situations from Seacoast Church on Vimeo.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:16 AM | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

July 11, 2011

Les Parrott on "Impossible People"

A helpful corrective on the common view of EGRs.

I am currently putting the finishing touches on the next edition of our SmallGroups.com Digital Magazine (look for it during the first week of August), and that includes writing an article about "Problem People."

I won't give away too many of my thoughts just yet, but the process of writing did remind me of a great article written by Les Parrott on SmallGroups.com a couple years back. Here's the link to the whole article, but I am especially fond of what Les had to say in the conclusion:

Everybody is somebody's impossible person some of the time. But rarely is somebody everyone's impossible person all of the time. Oh, there are those few annoying exceptions that make it their mission to complicate everyone's existence—you can usually detect them when the mere mention of their presence elicits a resounding "Oh no!" from a group of people. But, thankfully, they are rare.

That's why a good rule of thumb is to remember that the difficulty you experience with most impossible people is in your relationship, not in the person. After all, someone you like very much might get along just fine with someone else in the group that you can barely bare. Impossibility, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

That's a great thought, in my mind—a helpful correction to the idea that every group has someone who is especially difficult (and EGR) and needs to be "handled."

Anything you would like to add?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:56 AM | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)