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October 18, 2012
How Much Should I Share?
Consider healthy boundaries with group members.
One of the most common questions I hear from small-group leaders is, "How much should I share with my group members?" We leaders worry that we'll share too much, scaring away our group members. On the other hand, we worry that we haven't shared enough in order to model vulnerability. Then, throw on the fact that sometimes what's bothering us is a situation that we've been made privy to only because of our leadership position.
In Healthy Boundaries for Small Groups, our newest Training Tool, Will Johnston offers some wise advice. As the Group Catalyst for National Community Church in Washington, D.C., he's run into this question a few times himself. Here's how he responds:
The question isn't, "What is appropriate to share with my small group?" The answer to that is everything. Everything is up for disclosure and discussion.Rather, the question is, "What should I share with my small group at this moment in my development and in the development of the group?"
In a group where bonds are strong, where ties go deep, where there is trust and love among the members, it may be appropriate to share your deepest, darkest secret with the entire group. In a group that has just formed, where people may not even know each other's names, you probably don't want to unload every hurt and hang-up you have.
I love that he changes the question so that it's not about us anymore—it's about our group members and their edification. Read the rest of his wisdom on how to share transparently and appropriately in Healthy Boundaries for Small Groups.
posted by Amy Jackson on October 18, 2012 9:24 AM
