May 21, 2013

Mental Illness Is More Common than We Realize

Why we must acknowledge and support people suffering

by Amy Jackson

How common is mental illness? The truth may surprise you.

Because people struggling with mental illness don't necessarily broadcast that struggle, they may suffer in silence, without many people knowing that anything is wrong. Unfortunately, that also means that to many, mental illness doesn't feel all that prevalent.

But Amy Simpson reveals in her article that a little more than 25 percent of Americans 18 and older will suffer from a mental illness this year. That's more than "people diagnosed with cancer each year, those living with heart disease, those infected with HIV and AIDS, and those afflicted with diabetes—combined." Shocking, isn't it?

Many of us can name someone in our lives that suffers from one of these physical ailments. We know they're relatively common. We know people whose lives are directly affected by them—even ours. And yet we have a difficult time realizing that mental disorders are just as common.

What does that mean for small groups? How can we help shine light on this issue, this need? How can we create a culture where it's okay to talk about our struggles and illnesses—especially those unseen? How can small groups respond in a loving way to group members who are struggling?

For some great ideas, read "Your Small Group Can Help People Affected by Mental Illness." And share your thoughts below. What can small groups do to help?

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:27 AM on May 21, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 13, 2013

Resource Review: Troubled Minds

An excellent resource for ministering to people struggling with mental illness

by Amy Jackson

I recently had the privilege of reading Amy Simpson's new book, Troubled Minds: Mental Illness and the Church's Mission, available from InterVarsity Press. The short video above gives you a sneak peek into the book.

Simpson's mom struggles with schizophrenia, and she had her first full mental breakdown when Simpson was only 14. In Troubled Minds, she shares her own story and how the church helped—and didn't help—her family during this difficult time. This incredibly practical book lays out helpful descriptions of the basic types of mental illness, ways the family of a person with mental illness is impacted, and the stigma and struggles people with mental illness face when attending church. She also breaks down the issues church leaders face when ministering to people with mental illness, and offers great advice for how churches can respond in compassionate, helpful ways.

One of the most important parts of Simpson's book, though, is helping to dispel the myths surrounding mental illness. For instance, mental illness is far more common than many of us realize. She explains that over 25 percent of American adults will face mental illness this year and that many people with mental illness will seek help in the church. In fact, according to a survey discussed in the book, "nearly half (44.5 percent) of church leaders are approached 2 to 5 times per year about dealing with mental illness; 32.8 percent are approached more frequently, from 6 to more than 12 times per year."

If you haven't been approached yet, there's a good chance you will be—all the more reason to understand mental illness and learn ways to help those suffering. This is especially important when you consider the struggles people with mental illness face when attending church. Simpson says the problem is only exacerbated by uninformed leaders, the wrong belief that Christians don't deal with mental illness, and a church culture that expects attenders to live mess-free lives. People with mental illness may also face Christians who spiritualize the problem—even sending the message that they aren't walking with the Lord if they're suffering.

We must do better, especially in our small groups. If we seek to create safe environments for people to grow in their relationship with God and with one another, we must make our groups safe for all people, including those facing mental illness and their family members.

May is Mental Health Month, and we want you to have the resources you need to minister to people with mental illness. We offer a great four-session Bible study on ministering to people with mental illness and an excellent article from Amy Simpson on ways your small group can help people who are dealing with mental illness. Plus, check out an excerpt from her book: "Mental Illness Is Mainstream."

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:59 AM on May 13, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 9, 2013

When Missional Living Isn't Warm and Fuzzy

Are we still called to help?

by Amy Jackson

A few months ago, I talked to a woman who had become disillusioned by her experiences with missional living. She made her feelings pretty clear as she told me why she thinks my small group is wasting its time when we try to help people in messy situations.

"Some people don't change," she said, "And it's not our job to fix them—it's God's."

Her candid feelings startled me. I agree with her—some people don't seem to change. And I agree that it is God's job to change people (and he can change even this woman's heart). But I also know that God wants us to love on others and help usher in the kingdom by righting the wrongs we see, helping people to live the lives that God intended for them all along.

But the truth of the matter is that when our small groups try to help others, it doesn't always work out the way we'd like. We don't always see someone finding their way back to God. We don't always experience warm, fuzzy feelings. We don't even get a thank you very often. Despite this, we're still called to help, to serve, and to love.

Even if nothing changes. Even if there's no thank you. Even if it's so messy that we worry how much worse it will get.

We don't get to control the outcome. We just obey the directions that God has given us.

A new article from Joel Brooks on SmallGroups.com really fleshes this idea out, and I appreciate the author's honesty. Have a look and let us know what you think below. For a great single-session Bible study on this topic, see Called to a Life of Mercy and Justice from our sister site, ChristianBibleStudies.com.

posted by Amy Jackson at 3:31 PM on May 9, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 2, 2013

Working Together as a Team

It might not be easy, but you still need to do it.

by Amy Jackson

A few nights ago in my small group, the leader asked an icebreaker question: When have you worked with a team to accomplish a goal? It was a great icebreaker because it led into a discussion about Jesus calling his disciples, but many of our group members were stumped. Even I’ll admit it took me a while to think about it. When we did come up with examples, most of our answers referred back to high school, which is a little distant for most of us.

Why is it that all we could think of were examples from high school sports teams and school projects? Is it that we don’t work in teams after the age of 18?

It dawned on me that as your small group works together to accomplish goals of spiritual growth, missional living, and caring for one another, it may be the first time in a long time that your members have worked on a meaningful team. In light of this truth, we need to do two things:

First, we must highlight this opportunity. What a privilege it is to work with others and accomplish a goal we could never accomplish on our own! We must value this opportunity ourselves and model it to our group members. And when we do accomplish something we really need to celebrate it to show our group members that it’s a big deal.

Second, we must realize that we’ll have to work through team dynamics. When we’re all used to working on our own, team unity won’t happen instantly. That’s why it’s critical that you work through group dynamics issues and through any conflict that may arise. Our newly updated resource will definitely help you out in this area.

So tell us: What has your group accomplished as a team? What has helped you come together as a unified team?

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on May 2, 2013 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

April 30, 2013

Practical Discussions that Lead to Life Change

What do you study with your small group?

by Amy Jackson

My women's small group finished up our study of James last week, and I'm surprised by how much each of us learned from this practical book. I've studied James several times with other small groups, and I've read it for myself countless times. Yet each time I study this book, God brings me new insights. Each of us is walking away with a specific challenge to live in ways that glorify God.

My favorite part about this study is that it was based on great discussions. I created some questions to work through each meeting, and we allowed these questions to spark discussion. Our discussions always led to great insights and challenges for how we are living. They led us to see where we needed to grow and change, and they gave us specific ideas on how to make that happen.

So what do you study with your group? Do you use curriculum? Do you simply ask questions like I did? Do you talk about your church's sermon series? Share what and how you study with us below.

Need ideas for your next study? Read the comments and check out our resource Find the Right Study for Your Group.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on April 30, 2013 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

April 25, 2013

Engage Everyone in Your Group

How to lead a group of both not-yet believers and mature Christ-followers

by Amy Jackson

This week's new resource on SmallGroups.com is an especially helpful one. Maximizing Multi-Stage Groups discusses ways that leaders can engage everyone in their group—from the not-yet believer to the mature Christ-follower. It's one of the most common frustrations of small-group leaders. The mature believers are irritated when a new believer asks tons of questions and keeps the group from moving on with the study. The new believer is frustrated when the mature believers quote Scripture and use terms that are unfamiliar. Caught in the middle, the leader struggles to make the group transformational for both ends of the spectrum—and everything in between.

In Maximizing Multi-Stage Groups, Maegan Hawley of National Community Church in Washington, D. C. shares how an accidental multi-stage group turned out to be a huge blessing for everyone involved:

A woman named Janet joined my women's small group. Janet was easily old enough to be the mother of everyone in the group, and proclaimed just that on her first night. She obviously felt out of place in a group full of girls in their mid to late 20s. During our first meeting, several girls told her why they were grateful she was in the group. Nobody denied the fact that she was a few decades ahead; instead, that was the very thing they appreciated about her!
Today, Janet will be the first to admit her small-group experience with us gave her an unexpected sense of belonging and spurred a lot of spiritual growth. She found much more in common with girls half her age than she anticipated, and it was deeply affirming for her to discover that her life experience was able to be of practical help to others. In a nutshell, Janet signed up for a Bible study and wound up finding community. She continues to be involved at NCC. I believe it's because she found a place of belonging that seemed custom fit to where she was in her life stage, in her walk with God, and how she needed to grow.

As well as her group turned out, Maegan also realized that it was difficult to make this same dynamic happen in other groups. She offers several suggestions for making multi-stage groups work for everyone, including making the experience mutual by showing the mature and new believers alike why they need the others and have something unique to offer others in the group.

Download our newest resource now to read the rest of Maegan's article and learn from the wisdom of others including Reid Smith, Rachel Gilmore, Jim Egli, and Rick Lowry.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on April 25, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

April 18, 2013

Green for God's Glory

Celebrate Earth Day with your group

by Amy Jackson

Since I was young, I’ve had an interest in being “green.” I was a careful recycler. I reused odds and ends for craft projects. I cared about preserving the outdoors. Of course, during my teen years I took more than my fair share of ridiculously long showers. (Apparently water conservation wasn’t that important to me.)

As I got older, though, my green lifestyle took on new meaning. When I started following Christ late in high school, I made the connection that being green wasn’t just a nice thing to do. Instead, I began seeing creation as something God created and gave us to take care of. Over the next few years, my interest in living an environmentally friendly lifestyle turned into a passion—a God-given passion.

Since then I’ve had the opportunity to speak at a school, a church group, a women’s event, and even a garden club about the importance of conserving the environment, and it’s been a joy. To me, going green is one way we usher in the kingdom of God. We are called to be good stewards of the blessings God has given us—and that includes the earth. On top of that, many of the choices we make here affect our world-wide neighbors in negative ways—which means we’re failing at the command to love our neighbors. For instance, the pesticides that are required for conventional cotton farms have a terrible effect on the health of the workers, most of whom are in poor countries.

In honor of Earth Day on April 22, use our three-session study Creation Care with your group or use the single-session study Going Green for God from our sister site, ChristianBibleStudies.com. Consider ways that you, your small group, and your church are going green for God. Then brainstorm ways you can do even more.

Here are some ideas:
Start bringing your own bags when you shop
Use reusable water bottles and pitcher filters instead of disposable water bottles
Take your lunch in reusable containers
Reuse your current belongings before buying new ones
Recycle everything possible at small-group meetings (including plastic cups)
Eat snacks off of washable plates instead of paper ones
Limit the copies you print off for your group: e-mail out our downloadable studies to save paper
Start a recycling campaign at church
Set up a free paper recycling service (like Abitibi) for your church
Start a community garden

Share with us below: How are you living an eco-friendly, sustainable life?

posted by Amy Jackson at 2:52 PM on April 18, 2013 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

April 11, 2013

How Should We Measure Spiritual Growth?

Lessons from the Twelve Conference

by Amy Jackson

I attended the Twelve Conference today, a huge online gathering of small-group leaders and point people. So far, it’s been a great learning experience, and I’m so glad that many SmallGroups.com writers are represented, including Ben Reed, Carolyn Taketa, Rick Howerton, and Spence Shelton.

One of the discussions today was about how to measure spiritual growth. If you’ve ever tried to measure it, you know just how difficult it can be. After all, simply recording attendance, number of groups, and number of new people in groups doesn’t give us an accurate picture of spiritual growth. These speakers, though, came up with some great questions to ask to gauge spiritual growth:
1. What are you doing today that you weren’t doing yesterday?
2. How are you growing in the areas of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5?
3. Are you following Jesus today better than you used to?
4. Are you growing in the one another commands of the New Testament?

When it comes to assessing groups, you might ask:
1. Have we created a safe environment where people share authentically?
2. How deep are your prayer requests?
3. What stories of life transformation—healed marriages, reconciled relationships, etc.—do we have as a group?
4. Are we developing and sending out new leaders?
5. Do we focus just on ourselves, or do we also focus on others outside our group?

How do you measure spiritual growth? Share with us below.

For more insights from the Twelve Conference, follow along with us on Twitter today.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on April 11, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

April 8, 2013

Followers of the Wounded Healer

Wisdom for relating and ministering to those with mental illness

by Amy Jackson

It's pretty apparent when someone breaks a leg, like Kevin Ware of the Louisville Cardinals did during the Elite Eight NCAA basketball game last week. Legs aren't supposed to bend like that. When someone is struggling with mental illness, though, the signs aren't as clear. And while Ware will receive no shame for breaking his leg, chances are that a person with Schizophrenia will. No one will tell Ware to heal faster, yet many will ask those dealing with depression why they aren't feeling better yet, telling them simply to cheer up.

But our shaming and prodding will do no good for the person with mental illness. And that goes for those who are seeking to help people with mental illness, too. When your son with depression commits suicide or your mom with bipolar disorder causes a scene at the grocery store, you don't need any shaming or prodding either. You and your loved one need grace and love and reminders of God's light.

Ann Voskamp shares on her blog how she's seen the church deal with mental illness, including her mom's—and how she wishes the church would respond. She writes:

Our Bible says Jesus said, "It is not those who are healthy who need a doctor, but those who are sick." Jesus came for the sick, not for the smug. Jesus came as a doctor and He makes miracles happen through medicine and when the church isn't for the suffering, then the Church isn't for Christ.
I wanted them to say it all together, like one Body, for us to say it all together to each other because there's not one of us who hasn't lost something, who doesn't fear something, who doesn't ache with something. I wanted us to turn to the hurting, to each other, and promise it till we're hoarse:

We won't give you some cliché—but something to cling to—and that will mean our hands.

We won't give you some platitudes—but someplace for your pain—and that will mean our time.

We won't give you some excuses—but we'll be some example—and that will mean bending down and washing your wounds. Wounds that we don't understand, wounds that keep festering, that don't heal, that downright stink—wounds that can never make us turn away.

Because we are the Body of the Wounded Healer and we are the people who believe the impossible—that wounds can be openings to the beauty in us.

Recognizing that different mental illnesses need different treatments, including resources outside small-group ministry, your small group can help those with a mental illness by representing our Wounded Healer to them. Too often we want to send away people dealing with mental illness, allowing specialists to do their work, but as the Body of Christ, we should come alongside those struggling.

What can small groups do to create environments where those struggling with mental illness—and those with loved ones struggling with mental illness—are welcomed and cared for? For a specific example, how might a small group reach out to parents who have recently lost a child to suicide?

For an excellent study on this topic, see Ministering to Those with a Mental Illness.

posted by Amy Jackson at 4:13 PM on April 8, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

April 4, 2013

Something More Important than Preparation

Why who you are matters more than what you do

by Amy Jackson

I read an article recently about the importance of preparing for small-group meetings. While I whole-heartedly believe that preparation leads to positive meetings and the environment for life change, I wonder if preparation truly is the most important thing.

Regardless of our planning and how thoroughly we’ve read our Scripture passage, what our small-group members really want—and need—is a group of people who are authentic, who live their lives together through the mundane, the scary, the frustrating, and the joyful moments. They’re looking for others who don’t always have the right answer, but are willing to empathize with them and pray. They’re looking for people who recognize that life with Christ isn’t always easy, and it doesn’t always have clear black-and-white answers.

So although it is important to prepare for meetings by studying the passage, preparing good questions, and making sure someone is bringing a snack, our preparation isn’t the most important thing. Instead, we need to be people authentically following Christ, people who are outside our safe bubbles long enough to run into hard situations that make us to depend on God even more. People who make mistakes and then claim and apologize for those mistakes. People who are visibly growing more into the likeness of Christ—and are willing to admit it’s a difficult process.

In short, maybe the most important thing you can do for your small group is to be a growing, learning, imperfect Christ-follower.

Imagine the emotional safety of a group led by a leader like that. Imagine how your example would empower your group members to live out their faith. Imagine the thirst for God’s Word in a group of people who are working out their faith each day. Imagine how you might change the world by simply being a small group of authentic Christ-followers.

What do you do to keep yourself grounded in Christ? How do you keep your personal relationship with God as your highest priority in the midst of leadership responsibilities?

posted by Amy Jackson at 12:42 PM on April 4, 2013 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

March 28, 2013

Easter Should Change Your Small Group

Soak up his love, lean into his power, and continue his mission.

by Amy Jackson

This Lent I've followed a devotional reading plan by N. T. Wright called "Lent for Everyone." My church is non-liturgical, and we usually don't focus much on the days leading up to Easter, but this devotional reading plan has reminded me just how important Easter is.

Three things have especially stood out to me:

1) God's overwhelming, incomprehensible love. It's common to focus on God's love shown through the cross, but I'm overwhelmed by the love Jesus showed in his life before the cross. It's only in the context of this everyday love that it's understandable that Jesus would endure Good Friday.
2) The amazing power available to us. I recently came across Ephesians 1:18–21 again, and I can't get over this: "I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know . . . his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead" (emphasis mine). When we seek to become Christlike, we don't do it on our own; we do it in God's power. Do your group members know they have this power available to them?

3) Jesus' mission. During his time on earth, Jesus talked a lot about the kingdom of God. And he completely flipped the societal norms with his teachings. The kingdom wasn't just something that was coming—it was something his followers were to help usher in. Plus, Jesus invited others to join in the mission, to join in kingdom living. As we live out kingdom values, we continue that mission. And we, too, have the amazing privilege of inviting others to join in—especially through small groups.

Small groups have the opportunity to lean into these three things: to experience and show the world God's love, to change from the inside out by depending on God's power, and to continue Jesus' mission by living out kingdom values and inviting others into kingdom living.

Make Jesus' life, death, and resurrection central to your faith. Soak up his love, lean into his power, and continue his mission—and model this to your group members. Celebrate Easter every day.

This prayer, from the devotional reading plan, perfectly sums up what I've learned this Lent:

Humble Lord Jesus, as you reach out to us in your gentle love, help us to find the way to bring your kingdom in our own day.

posted by Amy Jackson at 11:34 AM on March 28, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 21, 2013

Was Your Last Meeting Successful?

It's usually hard to answer that question.

by Amy Jackson

A common remark I hear from leaders is: “I’m just not sure if group meetings are successful.” Quite honestly, that’s usually hard to gauge for a few reasons. First of all, while we know our overall goals for groups are life change and deeper relationships with one another and with God, we won’t always see great evidence of that at every single meeting. After all, creating lasting life change or deep relationships rarely happens in an hour and a half. Another reason gauging meeting success can be difficult is that we don’t set specific goals for each meeting, so it’s hard to know if we’ve met them. (Although, sometimes the Spirit has other plans, and that’s okay!)

As you prepare for your next meeting, think about what you hope to accomplish. What can you do and what should you focus on in order to meet the long-term goals of life change and deeper relationships? When it comes to your discussion or study time, Sam O’Neal provides really helpful advice in Field Guide for Small Group Leaders: the Big Idea. He writes that leaders should focus their questions on getting just one or two big ideas across. This will keep the discussion focused and help you determine whether group members have understood the important truth in your study. Consider the topic in the passage that your group especially needs at this time. This may mean you’ll have to choose to focus on only one truth in a passage when five are presented. Remember, though, that you can choose to go wide or deep with your discussion. If you go wide, you’ll cover all the ideas in a passage, but not go in depth on any of them. Going deep, you’ll cover just one or two topics, but you’ll dig into them and have a good idea of how to apply them. Set a goal for your focus and ask only a few questions so that you can really engage in deep discussion. Later, you may set goals for more specific application or application that requires more sacrifice.

For some goals, curriculum may not be the most important part of your meeting. For instance, if your main goal is to get to know one another so that deeper relationships can form, you’ll want to spend the majority of your time chatting over snacks, answering icebreaker questions, or meeting in smaller groups for sharing and prayer. So set a goal that group members will share a meal together and chat, getting to know basic information about one another. Later, a goal may be that group members get together outside of meetings or that group members share personal prayer requests rather than requests for their aunt's friend's surgery.

Determine the smaller goals you'll need to meet in your next meeting in order to meet your larger, long-term group goals. And then plan your meeting accordingly. Afterward, decide if you met your goals for the meeting. Use what you learn to better prepare for your next meeting. And don't forget to give yourself some grace when things don't go exactly as planned. That's just part of the joy of small-group ministry.

posted by Amy Jackson at 3:17 PM on March 21, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 18, 2013

What Does Pope Francis Have to Do With Me?

Regardless of what you think of the papacy, we can learn something from the newest pope.

by Amy Jackson

It's hard to miss all the coverage on Pope Francis, formally Jorge Mario Bergoglio, archbishop of Buenos Aires. And you may wonder, What's the big deal? I'm not Catholic. Regardless of our differences, the choice of Pope Francis represents lots of changes that many Christians are excited about. Already, the pope is open to relationships and discussions with Orthodox and Eastern rite believers as well as Protestants. In fact, his installation tomorrow is expected to draw upward of 1,000,000 people including Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew I—the first Istanbul-based Patriarchate to attend since the Great Schism in 1054—and leaders from many major world religions. It's a clear sign that people from around the world respect Pope Francis, even if they don't share his religious beliefs.

He's focused on poverty, known for simple living, and is committed to living out the Christian faith—especially by caring for the social outcasts. He is well-respected in Buenos Aires, even though he's spoken out strongly against the government. And he's a Jesuit, an order in the Catholic church committed to accepting God's orders for their lives, even subjecting themselves to extreme living conditions, for the sake of ministry in Christ's name.

Regardless of what you think of Pope Francis (or the papacy in general), one thing is undisputed: the mission of Pope Francis' life is clear, and people are standing behind him because his actions show his beliefs.

This has me thinking, If someone were to watch me live my life, to see what I'm involved in and where I spend my time, would they have a clear picture of my mission? Would they see me as someone sold out to the mission of Jesus? It's a tough question to consider, but it's an important one. If our lives were our only testimony, would others know our mission? Would they know that we have surrendered our own desires in order to commit to Jesus' mission?

As I've pondered this question, I've found I desire to be more intentional in my faith, to spend even more time with Christ so that his love and grace will flow out of my life and will cause me to live radically obedient to his calling. And while that calling is scary—it does mean that we have to die to self, over and over again—it is, no doubt, the greatest adventure we could possibly have.

Explore this idea with your small group:
1. When you think about following Christ, what are the first words to come to mind? Do those words focus on a benefit to you or a benefit to the world? (Focus on getting the answer to these questions: Does following Christ mean that things will always go well for us? Or does following Christ mean that life may actually be more difficult—but that God will be glorified in some way?)

2. Do you see following Christ as adventurous or safe? Think about our Christian brothers and sisters in countries more hostile to Christ such as China or India. Following Christ in their contexts is anything but safe. Why do you think they remain true to Christ amidst such hostility?

3. James 2:14–26 is clear: faith without expression through actions (changed lives, changed priorities, etc.) is meaningless. In other words, the people we encounter should be able to look at our lives and know without a doubt that we are following Christ. If someone simply watched your actions from this past week, would they know that you are on mission with Jesus? Explain.

4. To clarify, James isn't calling us simply to do the right things. Instead, in chapter one, he insists that we must listen to the Word. And Paul points out in Ephesians 4:22–24, we are "to be made new in the attitude of [our] minds." For Christ-followers, new actions flow from a changed mind and heart. Why is it so important that our actions flow from the changes the Holy Spirit is making in our hearts and minds rather than from sheer will to change?

posted by Amy Jackson at 3:59 PM on March 18, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 15, 2013

Get in the Habit of Icebreakers

These meeting builders can do a lot more than transition you to your discussion.

by Amy Jackson

Recently, I’ve been reading The Power of Habit, and I’ve been learning a lot. It’s amazing how God created our brains to be extremely efficient, to make the most of our limited time and energy with the greatest result—all by creating habits.

The idea behind habits is that there is a cue (something that tells us it’s time to start a routine), a habit loop (the routine that has been ingrained in our brains), and a reward (some desired response that we experience almost immediately). So I see a chocolate chip cookie (the cue), I eat it (the habit), and then I feel—at least for the moment—a joyful sugar rush (the reward). Or in the morning, I step into the bathroom (the cue), wash my face and brush my teeth (the habit), and I’m ready in a timely manner without having to think through what I’m going to do in what order (the reward). One warning, though: once we experience the cue, it’s hard to stop the habit loop from taking place.

As I’ve been reading, my mind has been spinning with ways to take advantage of this natural tendency of our brains. How can we use the power of habit to our advantage in small-group ministry? Icebreakers can serve as an important cue in our small-group meetings. When we gather around and we begin the meeting with an icebreaker (the cue), group members will settle in, share, and get ready for the discussion to follow (the habit). The reward is that they’ll have fun, get to know one another better, and experience a more focused discussion time. And it’s a reward that leads to an even greater reward: life change.

When we use icebreakers as a cue, group members know that it’s time to settle in, to focus on the discussion, and to participate. It signals the start of the meeting and provides a sense of normalcy and routine to each meeting.

Do you take time for an icebreaker every meeting? Or do you sometimes skip them? Why?

Find great icebreakers by browsing our list.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on March 15, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 13, 2013

Questions Without Answers

Sitting with group members even when we don’t have easy fixes

by Amy Jackson

Over steaming cups of tea and a discussion filled with laughter, a serious tone burst forth.

“I think we may be headed for divorce,” one woman in my small group expressed with concern and fear. Then she desperately asked, “So what do I do now?”

The hush in the room was noticeable yet not awkward as we considered her question. And the truth we realized is that there aren’t any easy answers to this question. Yes, we need to pray—and fervently. Yes, she needs to immerse herself in God’s Word. Yes, she needs to take steps to show love even when she doesn’t feel it (and it’s not reciprocated). But those aren’t easy fixes. And they’re definitely not easy to do day in and day out in the midst of a dying marriage.

More interesting than this woman’s issues lying in the open was the reaction from some of the other members. One felt disappointed that we didn’t have an answer for her. Another one, feeling the tension, tried to comfort her with pat answers. Others expressed empathetic statements.

Why do we fear we’ve failed when we don’t have any easy, straightforward advice to give? Instead of focusing on solving everyone’s problems and offering easy answers, it’s okay to sit with people in the mess and say, “This is terrible. I don’t have the answer. But you better believe I’m here with you, and I’m lifting you up in prayer every day.”

After all, isn’t that what Jesus offers us? He says he’ll stay with us through thick and thin regardless of whether there are easy answers. Our small groups can follow in his example.

How have you been comforted by your small group—even when there weren’t easy answers to give? How has your group comforted others in the midst of difficult situations?

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:55 AM on March 13, 2013 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

March 4, 2013

What Is Your Busyness Masking?

Why Christian leaders are highly susceptible to the sin of sloth

by Amy Jackson

"I'm just so busy!"

How often have you exclaimed this statement with a sense of helplessness?

In our newest resource, Avoiding Burnout, Carolyn Arends writes about how something she read from Eugene Peterson completely changed her perspective on Christians crying "too busy." Peterson suggests that Christian leaders—especially really busy ones—are highly susceptible to the sin of sloth. Sounds like an oxymoron, right? But busily running around can help us avoid the really important things in life: our health, our relationship with God, our family.

Ouch.

Arends writes:

I'm not a pastor. But I am busy, like almost everyone I know. When Peterson declares that "the pastor's primary responsibility is to keep the community attentive to God," I can readily apply that job description to my roles as wife, mother, musician, and author. The mandate can be stated even more succinctly regarding my task as a human: Pay attention to God. If I don't, I'm guilty of spiritual sloth, no matter how hard I'm working. In truth, there is an inverse relationship between how overwhelmed I am doing things and how much energy I can give to being attentive.
But did I mention I'm really busy?

Part of the problem is that spiritual receptivity requires unglamorous practices like prayer, time in Scripture, and attentiveness to what God is doing in the people around me. Telling me, "Prayer promotes spiritual growth!" has as much wow-factor as announcing, "Reducing calories leads to weight loss!" I want something new—a development that will lead to breakthrough. Peterson observes that spiritual disciplines have "not been tried and discarded because [they] didn't work, but tried and found difficult (and more than a little tedious) and so shelved in favor of something or other that could be fit into a busy [person's] schedule."

Sometimes avoiding burnout is as simple as spending more time on the important things.

Read the rest of Arends article and learn lots of other strategies to avoid burnout in our newest Practical Ministry Skills resource.

posted by Amy Jackson at 2:31 PM on March 4, 2013 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

March 1, 2013

Wanted: Team Players

What to look for in new team members

by Amy Jackson

Michael Cheshire, senior pastor of The Journey Community Church in Aspen Park, Colorado, has learned a thing or two about being a team player—and identifying team players. In small-group ministry, being a team player needs to be a leadership requirement. Without a team mindset, small-group ministry is destined to fail. So whether you're identifying new coaches, leaders, or apprentices, look for people who can work well on a team.

But how do you identify whether someone is a team player? Cheshire shares several tests in his article from Leadership Journal:

1. We must ensure that we're not just seeking willing, warm bodies. Are these people fit for this ministry?

2. We must seek people who are able to disagree with us passionately without becoming mean. Are the people around you willing and able to disagree with you?

3. We must identify people who are for the team more than they are for themselves. Are they willing to stand up for others on the team?

4. We must find people who feel permission to fail—so that they're willing to take some risks. And we have to give them that permission. Do you see success and failure as a team endeavor, or do you try to do everything simply to avoid failure?

Read the rest of his tips for putting together a team of team players at LeadershipJournal.net.

How do you identify team players? Share with us below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:37 AM on March 1, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

February 19, 2013

New Resources Including a Free Playlist

Even more to inspire your group to be missional

by Amy Jackson

Well, it's no surprise that I'm passionate about missional small groups—groups that are impacting their communities for the kingdom, working with God for his redemptive purposes. I've written about my own small group experiences here, here, here, and here. Plus, we put together a digital magazine last summer on how to make your small group missional.

Now I'm happy to give you two new resources. First of all, we've created a Training Theme resource on missional small groups. It's perfect to use by yourself to learn more about what missional small groups are about and how you can move your small group in that direction. Additionally, this resource is perfectly set up to be used in a leader training event or retreat. It even includes a retreat plan. And you'll hear from people who are living it out.

To inspire your group to missional living through song, use our new free playlist available through Grooveshark. Just click the link and enjoy a hand-selected mix of songs that remind us of God's mission and to be others-focused.

How is your small group engaging in missional living together? Share your story with us below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on February 19, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

February 14, 2013

Chocolate Cake, Pepsi, and a Milestone Birthday

How listening helped my small group bless a new friend

by Amy Jackson

This past weekend my small group blessed a 70-year-old man in a big way. He lives by himself in a pay-by-the-week motel. Without any family, he's lonely. And because he's not able to drive and is a little unstable on his feet, he's pretty much confined to his small room.

When we met him last summer, we were deeply touched, and we immediately started to build a relationship with him. One group member started picking him up each week for church, so he can experience community. Then we invited him to a Thanksgiving celebration with our small group. For Christmas, several of us bought him presents, and my husband and I had him over for Christmas dinner.

So when he told us he was turning 70 on February 9, we set to work planning a party. One group member is an excellent baker and made a large chocolate cake. Another member loves to plan, so she put together a delicious meal. We all pitched ideas for good presents for him, and we invited the kids, knowing how much our friend enjoys being around little ones.

The party was a success. But only because we learned to listen. Without listening, we would have no idea of how much he enjoys being around children. We'd have no idea that he prefers the King James Version or that he loves Pepsi but can't carry it home from the store on his own. We wouldn't know that his favorite treat is chocolate or that he goes to McDonald's each week with a friend for coffee. And all these details factored greatly in our planning. Because after all, a birthday party should be all about the person having the birthday.

One of the first lessons we learned as we started to be a missional small group is that we can't assume what others need. Instead, we have to get to know people and listen for their hopes, dreams, and needs. With our new friend, we've done just that. And it means that we've deeply touched his life. And in return, he's touched ours.

Listening is extremely important when it comes to missional living. Without first listening, we can do a lot of damage. We will probably incorrectly assume what people need. And we may break any trust by pushing ourselves on others.

And while listening seems simple enough, it's a difficult skill. True listening forces us to withhold judgment and seek to understand first and foremost. Only when we truly understand can we help others in the ways they need to be helped.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on February 14, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

February 12, 2013

Advice for New Leaders

What one leader learned while falling down the stairs

by Amy Jackson

When I asked Peri Gilbert, a regular writer for SmallGroups.com, what advice she had for new leaders, she started telling a story about falling down the stairs.

You see, in high school she found herself distracted while going up the stairs, and she fell, books and papers flying everywhere. And she's never forgotten the lessons she learned that day: watch where you're going, get rid of the obstacles (the stairs) in your way, and be willing to help and be helped by others.

These principles are helpful in small-group ministry. Leaders need to have a clear vision for where they're going and minimize distractions so they can stay the course. They also need to get rid of any unnecessary distractions. And leaders must be humble enough to ask for help—and to offer it when it's needed. She explains these ideas further in her new article.

What's your advice for new leaders? What lessons have you learned as you've led? Share with us below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 9:14 AM on February 12, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

February 6, 2013

Fighting the Obligation Mindset

When leading becomes a chore

by Amy Jackson

Leadership can certainly mean we live busy lives. Unfortunately, sometimes the busyness begins to feel like obligations, and we forget the joy we had when we first felt called to lead. When things get tough, we start questioning whether we should be leading at all. And the one thing that could refresh us—more time with God, gets pushed to the side in favor of finishing up our leadership obligations.

It’s a tough spiral to beat, yet my guess is that you’ve been there. And you’ve made it through. But how can we learn from that experience and guard ourselves from falling into it again?

This blog post from Debbie Jansen on GiftedforLeadership.com shares some helpful insights. She writes that when she lives out her calling, her “eyes twinkle, [her] voice raises a notch, and [she feels] as if every cell in [her] body has just been elevated to alert status.” She goes on to say that it exhilarates and humbles her all at the same time.

What if we lived into our callings daily? Would it guard us from falling into the spiral of obligation and going through the motions?

Read the blog for yourself and then share with us below. What do you feel your calling is? And how does focusing on your calling help you live with less of an obligation mindset?

posted by Amy Jackson at 4:34 PM on February 6, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 31, 2013

Ministering to the Hurting

Who do you know that is hurting?

by Amy Jackson

January and February are known to be some of the most difficult months emotionally. After the craziness of the holiday season, these months can be lonely, cold, and hard to cope with.

How do you minister to group members who are hurting? And what can your small group do to reach out to those who are hurting—or even those who have been hurt by the church?

I came across this video today from Community Christian Church. It's a moving display of the hurt people experience. Watch it for yourself and consider how you and your small group can minister to these people whom God loves.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on January 31, 2013 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

January 29, 2013

Develop Your Facilitation Skills

Why your leadership matters

by Amy Jackson

Do you know how important your role is, small-group leader? Without you, your group will not run as smoothly, and group members won't get as much out of discussions. It's easy to believe that if you have a mature group your presence doesn't matter. But that's simply not true.

Consider how easily your group members go off on tangents during your discussion. Do you gently bring them back? Or observe what happens when someone shares something that makes them vulnerable. How do others react? Do they attempt to lighten the mood through humor? Just sit silently waiting for you to make the next move?

Sure, many meetings—the "normal" meetings—may make you feel like you're not all that necessary. Group members share great insights, are open in their prayer requests, and enjoy themselves. But what happens when there's an awkward moment? Or when there's a disagreement? Or when two group members are on opposite ends theologically?

Leaders who are able to facilitate group discussion well will recognize these moments and take steps to validate group members and help move the discussion along appropriately—not too fast to neglect and gloss over what's happening, but not too slow to dwell on the situation for too long.

Facilitating discussion is really an art, something you can continue to improve on as you gain more leading experience. But if you want to grow in your facilitation skills, you'll need to be intentional. Read about how to facilitate, especially in unique situations. Start with The Basics of Facilitating and Tips for Facilitating a Group Discussion. Then learn how to deal with specific group dynamics issues in our digizine Troubleshooting, including four of the most common small-group issues.

Another great idea is to reflect on your facilitation skills. After each meeting spend five minutes reflecting on the discussion, answering the questions below. If you co-lead, work through these questions together.

What went well? Did the group go off on any tangents? Was I able to bring the group back? If so, how?
Did the mood change at any time? For what reason?

How did the group members handle the change? How did I handle it?

Did I encourage multiple members to share their thoughts, or did one or two dominate the meeting?

Did we start and end on time? Why or why not?

How deeply did group members share? Or did they stay at surface level?

What can I do differently next time to facilitate better?

How have you grown in your facilitating skills? What has helped the most?

posted by Amy Jackson at 9:15 AM on January 29, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 28, 2013

Before You Invest

Check out our reviews of four great resources.

by Amy Jackson

As you begin looking at your small-group ministry and making plans for 2013, it's helpful to invest in resources that will help you better articulate your goals. But before you invest, don't you want to know if the resources will meet your needs?

Check out my reviews of four excellent resources on being a small group that impacts your community in our most recent digizine, including Missional Small Groups, MissioRelate, Untamed, and This Is Our City. You'll find resources to help you better imagine what missional living through small groups could look like, and you'll find practical resources to help you make missional living a reality.

Share with us: What books or resources are you using right now to plan for small-group ministry?

posted by Amy Jackson at 11:36 AM on January 28, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 22, 2013

What Does It Look Like to Be a Christian?

Remembering that life isn't black and white

by Amy Jackson

The women's group I lead consists of several women who are fairly new to the faith. As we read through our book, talk through the weekend's sermon, or discuss a passage of Scripture, it's inevitable that questions arise. And their questions seem to center on application: What does this mean for me? What does this mean for the lifestyle I'm used to?

For those of us who have been in the church for some time—or have been part of the Christian subculture for some time—these questions may bubble up well-rehearsed answers:

Of course it means you shouldn't live with your boyfriend—you're just going to have to move out immediately.
Of course it means that line of work isn't okay—you're just going to have to quit your job.

Of course it means you shouldn't be friends with her—you're just going to have to distance yourself.

It can be easy to forget that life isn't simply black and white. And while we might be able to identify the ideal, that doesn't mean it's immediately possible.

A recent blog post from Out of Ur reminded me of this ever-present dynamic in my group. The post discusses a new trend of "insider Christians" in other parts of the world—people who are following Christ yet are not willing to leave the cultural and religious communities, especially in Hindu and Muslim communities where the religion is enmeshed in the culture.

The story of these insider Christians forces us to ask the same thing that the women in my group are asking: "What does it look like to be a Christian?" As Christians further down the road, we need to carefully consider our answer. We can't sell the gospel short, but we also can't underestimate the difficulties of their situations—and the potential for God to work within it.

So I'm curious, how would you define, in a nutshell, what it looks like to be a Christian? And is that picture for all Christians everywhere and at all times? Share with us below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 9:33 AM on January 22, 2013 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

January 17, 2013

What's Up with the Empty Chair?

The pros and cons of this old standby

by Amy Jackson

Chances are, you've heard of the "empty chair." You may even regularly have an empty chair in your small-group meetings.

The idea is that it reminds group members that there is always room for more—and that they're supposed to be inviting others to join. While this can be a helpful visual reminder, there may be some negative consequences to using the empty chair.

Sam O'Neal spells out the pros and cons to help you decide what's best for your group. Read his blog post here and share with us below if and how you use the empty chair at meetings.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:52 AM on January 17, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 15, 2013

Mix Up Your Meeting

And get out of your rut.

by Amy Jackson

January can be a difficult month. The holiday haze has lifted, we're failing at our resolutions, colder weather keeps us indoors, and the financial strain of the holidays keeps us from many fun activities. Without a holiday in sight, January can feel gloomy and routine—it's the same ol' same ol'.

So if your group has started to feel a little mundane, it might be time to mix things up and bring some fun to the lives of your group members. Our newest Practical Ministry Skills resource gives tons of ideas for leading outside the box. From changing up your meeting schedule to planning more group prayer to starting a Facebook page to stay connected through the week, you'll walk away with practical, doable ideas you can implement right away.

Included in the pack is a list of prayer stations from Keri Wyatt Kent. Set up one or several and have group members work through them on their own. Or do one as a group—it could be a great lead into your lesson or a practical next step afterward. Here's one of Kent's ideas.

Confession
Materials:
Paper with Psalm 103:8–14 and Romans 3:21–24 printed on it
Washable markers
Large clear vase filled with water (you may want to put a washcloth or layer of small stones in the bottom to cushion)
Smooth river rocks, as flat as possible

Instructions:
Spend some time asking God to meet you in this station. This is not about guilt or shame, but the truth that sets us free.

The Bible tells us that we have all sinned, yet God offers us the free gift of forgiveness.

What sin do you need to confess to God? What have you done, or left undone? Where have you been less than loving and kind? Are there situations where you were selfish or untruthful? Ask God to show you these, knowing that all the while, he is looking at you in love.

Pick one sin that has been a burden to you, one you truly wish to be free of (because the truth is, sometimes we hang on to sins). Write a word or two on one of the stones, to represent this burden.

Gently slip the stone into the vase of water and watch it sink. Imagine this stone is your sin, which God has removed, and thrown to the bottom of the sea. Notice how the word fades as the water washes the stone.

End your time at this station by thanking God for his forgiveness, rejoicing in the truth that he cleanses us from all unrighteousness.

If you like this idea, see Kent's other seven ideas included in the resource.

What do you do to mix up your small-group meetings?

posted by Amy Jackson at 2:43 PM on January 15, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 11, 2013

Invisible Wounds

Ministry to people with mental illness

by Amy Jackson

When someone in our small group falls and breaks a hip, we know how to respond. We visit the hospital, send encouraging cards, and deliver meals.

But do we know what to do when someone is diagnosed with mental illness?

Amy Simpson, author of Troubled Minds, a book on mental illness and the church coming out in April, has first-hand experience with mental illness in the church. Amy's mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia, and Amy has learned a lot about living with, loving, and ministering to people with mental illness.

In a radio appearance today on "This Is the Day" on Moody Radio, Amy gave several tips for ministering to people with mental illness—and they're tips for all of us. Statistically, we will all encounter people with mental illness. There are 12 million people in the U.S. alone with a serious mental illness (1 in 17 adults) and 25% of all Americans have some form of diagnosable mental illness.

Simpson reminded listeners that it is a great first step to refer people with mental illness to appropriate doctors and therapists. But that isn't enough. We must commit to walk with them through the process, helping to deliver holistic care. Simpson said to remember to smile, make eye contact, and say "hi." Help remove the stigma by regularly mentioning mental illness in group discussions, studies, and prayers. Ask how treatment is going. And remember that there is hope for all in Christ.

For a full-length article on this topic, read Amy's article "Through a Glass, Darkly" from our sister ministry Leadership Journal. And stay tuned for more from her book later this year.

And if you're struggling with this now, use our Bible study Ministering to Those with a Mental Illness to work through some of your questions.

Amy Simpson is also the managing editor of Gifted for Leadership and the marriage and parenting resources from Today's Christian Woman.

posted by Amy Jackson at 11:26 AM on January 11, 2013 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

January 9, 2013

The Tensions of a Broken World

What exactly is our role?

by Amy Jackson

SmallGroups.com offered a lot of resources and articles on missional living in 2012. I’ll admit that it’s a topic close to my heart, and I truly believe small groups have a huge opportunity—and responsibility—to develop Christ-followers who are engaged in the mission of God.

But not long after you begin to look for opportunities to love on and serve others in your community, you’ll run into the realities of living in a broken world. There are systemic injustices that keep unfortunate situations perpetuating. There are long-term prejudices that make people afraid to step out in faith. And there are sin patterns that are so ingrained that it’s hard to truly make a difference.

And yet, God still calls us to participate in his mission of restoring the world to what it was meant to be by ushering in his kingdom.

In an excellent excerpt from The Cost of Community, Jamie Arpin-Ricci discusses this tension and helps Christ-followers understand their role.

When it comes to missional living, Arpin-Ricci is the real deal. For another excerpt from his book, read Rich and Poor Find Solidarity in Christ.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:48 AM on January 9, 2013 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 4, 2013

Top Five Icebreakers of 2012

And don't miss our sale!

by Amy Jackson

We love counting down the top training resources, articles, Bible studies, icebreakers, and blog posts for you at the beginning of a new year, and this year is no different. For a limited time, buy our top 10 resources from 2012 and receive 25 percent off! Just head over here to see the full list.

Today I want to share our top five icebreakers with you. Consider using one at your next meeting.

1. Illumine Me
A creative reminder of God’s faithfulness

2. A Person of . . .
By which trait would you rather be known?

3. All Emotional
Give group members a chance to role play different emotions.

4. Back to School
What and where would you study if you went back to school?

5. Lost and Found
What is the most expensive thing you have lost or found?

Looking for more icebreakers? Try our Meeting Builder Tool.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on December 31, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 27, 2012

New Year Hopes and Dreams

What's your hope?

by Amy Jackson

As we approach the new year, what is your hope for your small group? Maybe you hope 2013 holds more missional activities. Or perhaps you’re hoping for true reconciliation between group members. Or maybe you’re just hoping that your group members can finally go a little deeper.

Whatever your hope is, God is able—and he’s willing to do this work. Begin praying about it now, and keep your eyes open for opportunities to help your group members grow.

So what’s your hope? Share it with us below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on December 27, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 24, 2012

Merry Christmas!

Take some time to rest

by Amy Jackson

SmallGroups.com wishes you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May you enjoy time with family and friends as you celebrate the birth of our savior. May you extend the love of Jesus to others. And may you give thanks for the community God has provided for you.

We’ll be taking some time off to celebrate ourselves, but we’ll be back soon with new content. In the meantime, take a breath, rest, and reflect on the blessings you’ve received this year.

Merry Christmas!

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on December 24, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 20, 2012

Is Everyone in Your Group Engaged?

How to assess

by Amy Jackson

It's pretty rare to have a small group made up of people who are the same age, in the same life stage, and of the same spiritual maturity. And it's a good thing to experience diversity in our small groups. But how do you ensure that you're keeping everyone engaged?

Our newest Assessment Pack is designed to help you answer that question. Use the nine assessments included to gain a clear understanding. Check out one of the assessments from this pack here.

posted by Amy Jackson at 11:24 AM on December 20, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 13, 2012

Wisdom from the Small-Group Experts

100 small-group quotes

by Amy Jackson

As I e-mailed SmallGroups.com’s regular writers and contributors the other day, I was struck with what a great list of small-group leaders, pastors, and directors we have. There is so much wisdom to share—not just because they’ve written books on small-group ministry, but also because they have actually served (or are currently serving) in small-group ministry. People like Mike Mack, Scott Boren, and Alan Danielson regularly contribute to the site, plus newer names to small groups like Carter Moss, Ben Reed, and Spence Shelton.

So when I came across this list of 100 small-group quotes, I was honored to know that many of the people listed have a presence on SmallGroups.com. Take a look through their collective wisdom on this awesome list. And let us know below: what’s the best small-group quote you’ve come across?

Looking for more great small-group quotes? Like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter to see our editor’s tip of the week every Thursday.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:33 AM on December 13, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

December 5, 2012

Who Has Time for Waiting?

A caution to leaders during this busy season

by Amy Jackson

Advent is the season of waiting—waiting and watching for the coming Savior. But waiting is a tough concept today. In our hyper-productive world, it too often feels like wasting time. So instead we busy ourselves with a multitude of things, telling ourselves we’re just keeping busy while we’re waiting. We hustle and bustle to get the decorations up, the presents wrapped, and the cards sent. We drive in circles around town while “enjoying” countless Christmas parties.

All the while, there’s a tiny voice in our head asking, Is busyness really all it’s cracked up to be?

In a season where everyone is tempted to take on more—especially small-group leaders—how do we bring our focus back to God?

In an article on ChristianBibleStudies.com, Tammy Whitehurst writes that she knew busyness was an issue in her life:

I discovered this after I found myself checking my appointment book to see if I could squeeze in lunch with my 18-year-old daughter. I knew then that I had to back up and take a good look at my priorities. The world would momentarily stop if something ever happened to her, so why can't I stop when she wants me to have lunch?

Read the rest of her article and take heart: there’s more to life than busyness.

posted by Amy Jackson at 12:38 PM on December 5, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 3, 2012

Out with the New, In with the Old

You may not need to start something new to be on mission.

by Amy Jackson

When it comes to being on mission with God, we tend to talk about starting new ministries, making new relationships, and adding more to our schedules. But what if you can be on mission simply by reworking something you're already doing?

That's what one church found when they had a consultant look at their programs. He encouraged them to look at a ministry they already had and turn it outward to serve the community.

Could it really be that easy? Read this excellent blog post from our friends at GiftedforLeadership.com for the full story and consider what you could rework to serve God's mission.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on December 3, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

November 29, 2012

Christmastime Is Here

Festive music and activities for your group

by Amy Jackson

Whether you started listening to Christmas music in August or just last week, it's officially "safe" to listen to it now—the Christmas season is here. And SmallGroups.com has put together a great playlist for you. Joyful Christmas is a free playlist we created through Grooveshark. Play it as group members arrive, during a holiday-inspired worship night, or even at your desk while at work. Enjoy this uplifting playlist perfect for the season.

Looking for great Christmas-themed activities and icebreakers for your next meeting? Try these:

A Small-Group Christmas (Celebration Ideas)
Christmas Carols (Icebreaker)
My Favorite Ornament (Icebreaker)
Nativity Characters (Icebreaker)
Tinsel Time (Icebreaker)
What Is Your Star (Icebreaker)
Your Life as a Christmas Tree (Icebreaker)

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:34 AM on November 29, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

November 26, 2012

Ten Things Someone Should Have Told You

Encouragement for small-group pastors, directors, and coordinators

by Amy Jackson

I really enjoy reading Ben Reed's blog. He's a regular writer and editorial advisor for SmallGroups.com, and he always shares honestly from his own experience as a small-group pastor. In his most recent post, Ben shares the 10 things nobody told him about being a small-group pastor.

As a former small-group director, I found myself chuckling as I read these truths that I'd learned the hard way. If you've been leading a small-group ministry, you'll appreciate these points—especially number 10.

After you finish reading, let us know below: what do you wish someone had told you about leading a small-group ministry? Let's pool our wisdom and encourage one another in this stressful, messy, difficult, and, most of all, extremely important role.

posted by Amy Jackson at 9:23 AM on November 26, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

November 22, 2012

Black Friday Sale!

Take 50% off!

by Amy Jackson

We are so thankful that you’re serving in small-group ministry. It’s so important. To thank you, we’re holding a Black Friday sale on all our Assessment Packs. Take 50% off now through Monday.

Our Assessment Packs are perfect to gauge different aspects of your small-group ministry. We know you’ll find them helpful.

Blessings as you live life in community—and help others to do the same.

posted by Amy Jackson at 6:00 PM on November 22, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

November 21, 2012

Making a Difference This Season

What will your small group do?

by Amy Jackson

As we approach the holiday season, it’s the perfect time to pray about what you and your group can do to meet the needs of people in your community. First of all, as the temperature drops, there is a need for coats, shoes, and hot meals. And as we celebrate family-oriented holidays, many feel lonely without a place to celebrate. Others never open a gift at this time of year and would love to receive something.

Jamie Arpin-Ricci is passionate about getting to know and serve the people around him. And it’s not just at special times of the year or by handing over his gently used clothes. He seeks to live out Jesus’ teachings fully—and that means loving all of his neighbors.

In seeking to live out Jesus’ teachings, he’s studied the Sermon on the Mount extensively. In this article, he looks at the first beatitude: blessed are the poor in spirit. Soak in the wisdom from this humble Christ-follower and consider what you can do to live out this beatitude.

For more on missional living, see The Meaning of Missional.

posted by Amy Jackson at 7:20 AM on November 21, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

November 14, 2012

Know Your Group in Order to Pick the Right Study

Consider these questions before choosing

by Amy Jackson

Choosing a group study can be challenging. You may have group members in different life stages, with different spiritual needs, or with different interests—and somehow you’re supposed to find one study that works for everyone.

Rachel Gilmore suggests considering the goals of your group and gaining a general idea of different types of small-group materials available. On top of that, though, you’ll need to know your group members, and she gives several questions to consider:

• Have any of these people done a group study before, or is this a brand new experience for most?
• Do I have any non-believers or seekers in this group?
• Do our members attend worship regularly at our church? Another church? Not at all?
• How willing and/or able are the participants to do homework in between meetings?
• Do the people in my group like to talk, or do they typically keep their thoughts to themselves?
• Can our members discuss different perspectives/opinions calmly, rationally, and respectfully?
• Does my group see me more as teacher/instructor (having more knowledge) or facilitator (I'm the tour guide in this learning journey)?
• How much time do I personally have for study and preparation?
• How comfortable is our group with incorporating technology into our study time—such as watch a DVD or have follow-up conversations on Facebook?
• Do any of our members have any special learning/physical needs that would impact learning/group discussions?

As you consider these questions, you’ll be able to choose a study that meets the needs of your group members. For more on finding the right study, and for the rest of Gilmore’s article, see Find the Right Study for Your Group.

posted by Amy Jackson at 11:15 AM on November 14, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

November 9, 2012

Celebrate Thanksgiving

Resources to get your small group ready

by Amy Jackson

If you're on Facebook, it's hard to miss all the people participating in 30 days of Thanksgiving. Each day, people around the country (and perhaps the world!) are posting something that they're thankful for—from friends and family to the right to vote to a good hair day.

To get your small group in the mood for Thanksgiving, we have two great resources for you:

First, be sure to listen to our free playlist full of songs of thanksgiving for all Christ has done for us. You can even use it as background music at your next meeting while you're chatting or enjoying snacks.

Second, use our Bible study A Life of Giving Thanks. This four-week study will help your small-group members discover the importance of a thankful heart—regardless of their life circumstances.

Personally, I've been learning a lot through my small group's discussion of One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It's a wonderful story of how one woman chose to be thankful every day despite trying circumstances. Consider using it with your group or for your own enjoyment.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on November 9, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

November 8, 2012

Book Controversy and Nasty Back-and-Forths

There's a more helpful way to approach controversial books.

by Amy Jackson

What do you know? There's another book controversy.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of it. Well-known leaders read—or simply read about—a book, post something on their blog, and others—having read or not read the book themselves—fight over their opinions. It's exhausting just thinking about it! And it shows a lot of disunity to the rest of the world.

Recently, I came across a well-written blog post on Out of Ur that reminded me of an important role small-group leaders can play in helping avoid these back-and-forths. Instead of banning a certain book, telling everyone they shouldn't read it, or, on the flip side, condoning everything in a book, perhaps we can help group members understand how to biblically interact with books—whatever their message may be.

This is a key skill that disciples need to develop. Think about it: We work through tough passages in the Bible that we may not agree with at first glance, but we don't tell people to stop reading them. Instead, we teach them to inductively study the passage, weighing different scholarly opinions. Why can't it be the same for books?

In the Out of Ur post, Matt Mikalatos writes that, "the best way to protect our people from dangerous ideas or books is not to prevent them from interacting with them, but to teach them to interact with them well." He suggests we learn to "read with our Bibles and our minds open."

I believe that it's rare that we'll read a book and completely agree or disagree with everything in it. Instead, we'll find certain views that we agree with, and others that rub us the wrong way—all in the same book. And there's value in that: I've learned so much from books that represent views I greatly disagree with because it's helped me better understand the issues and better love the people who hold those views.

Teach your group members to read with open Bibles and open minds, comparing an author's views with those in the Bible. Help them consider all possibilities, and come to their own conclusions, not simply taking the author's words as fact. Jesus calls us to be thinking people who live out his teachings in our place and time, not robots who simply do as programmed.

How do you help group members determine what is true, right, and pure? How do you help them to articulate their own beliefs?

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:56 AM on November 8, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

November 6, 2012

Christians Are Called to Be Involved in Government

Wise words on dual citizenship

by Amy Jackson

As we head to the polls today, let us consider these wise words from James W. Skillen, former president for the Center for Public Justice:

The followers of Christ are certainly a called-out community, called out from sin to become a community of obedience to God. But they are not called out of God’s creation. Think for a moment of the biblical language used to characterize Christ’s followers: bride of Christ, the children of their Father in heaven, brothers and sisters of their elder brother Jesus, joint heirs with Christ, a community of priests, disciples (students) in the school of a new teacher, and certainly citizens in Christ’s kingdom. The primary referents in all of these metaphors are the very creaturely realities in which the people of God live.
To live as a member of God’s family, I do not disown my parents but rather obey them as unto the Lord. Likewise, in order to participate in the Christian community as a citizen of Christ’s polis (kingdom), I do not take leave of my citizenship. Rather, I act as a citizen in obedience to the Lord in accord with teachings such as those in Romans 12 and 13. The church, then, is not an alternative to any of these creaturely realities. It represents, instead, the fulfillment of them all in Christ. . . .

Instead, to be authentic Christians, to be able to serve our civic neighbors throughout the world, Christians need to be involved as real citizens in real governments, exhibiting a genuinely Christian public ethic. Such a responsibility will include working for the restraint of personal vengeance. And it will entail the exercise of official, publicly accountable punishment of those who commit crimes and unjust aggression.

Turning from injustice, faithlessness, hatred, and greed in every sphere of life requires constructive, communal service by those who are being redeemed from sin. When Christ, by the power of the Spirit, has finished making all things new, we will then be able to sing with the saints of all ages, “The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of his Messiah, and he will reign for ever and ever” (Rev. 11:15).

May we all take seriously our call to hold dual citizenship and make our voices heard in today's elections.

Skillen's words have been excerpted from Dual Citizenship: A Christian Perspective on Government.

posted by Amy Jackson at 11:11 AM on November 6, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

November 2, 2012

Tragedy and Suffering

What to do in the face of hardship

by Amy Jackson

When tragedy strikes, our faith can be rocked. Whether it's a natural disaster like Hurricane Sandy, the loss of a friend, a difficult situation with a child, or a change in plans, we may begin questioning the goodness of God. And that's one of the reasons that living in community is so important—we can receive support and encouragement in trying times.

Use one of these meeting add-ons to ground your group members' faith:

God's Grace and Strength
Use subgroups to help group members explore God's grace in the midst of hardship.

Journal for the Journey
Explore keeping a blessings journal to remember all God's done.

We've even put together a free playlist for you on Grooveshark that's called: "Even When It's Hard." Play it when you're doing the activity "God's Grace and Strength," or whenever your group members need to ground their faith.

SmallGroups.com also offers several Bible studies that cover this topic, including:

2 Corinthians: Hard Knocks, Unbreakable Faith (4 session study)
Learn a perspective on hardship and suffering that is needed in today's world.

Living In Between (3 session study)
Deuteronomy may be a painfully honest book, but it promises God's presence through the pain.

Our Powerful Helper (6 session study)
God provides comfort when you need it most, and the power to persevere.

Perspectives on Suffering (4 session study)
Investigate how we can remain faithful in suffering by God's grace.

Is your group struggling right now? Handling Tragedy in Your Small Group provides help.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on November 2, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

November 1, 2012

Should We Focus on Spiritual or Physical Needs?

Or can we do both?

by Amy Jackson

Have you felt the tension between helping people and preaching the gospel? Should we focus on spiritual needs or only care for physical needs? Or can we do both?

Many of us have felt this tension in our small groups, too. We feel the need to help our group members study and understand the Word. At the same time, we see physical and emotional needs that need to be met.

And when our groups serve in the community, we feel the tension. Is handing out food at a soup kitchen helping to spread the gospel—even if we never utter the name of Jesus? Should we include information about the gospel when giving financial handouts?

Krish Kandiah of the UK Evangelical Alliance shared his views on this tension at the Nines conference last week. He said that when we feel the tension, we tend to do one of two things:

Cling to the quotation we ascribe to Francis of Assisi (though there's no record of him speaking or writing this): "Preach the gospel; use words only if necessary."
Or, we decide that when preaching the gospel, only words are necessary.

To put it another way, when faced with the tension, we simply choose a side, focusing just on helping people or just on telling people about Jesus.

However, Kandiah points out an important fact: Jesus was an integrated person who handled this tension. We don't just have the red letters in our Bible; we also have what he did. Both his words and actions were important in ushering in the kingdom of God. In fact, if there ever was a person who could get away with doing only one of these, it was Jesus. And yet he gave us a different example. He showed us that we are to both live and speak the gospel. And in doing so, we will carry the message of God's redeeming love into the world.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on November 1, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

October 31, 2012

Dealing with Rogue Leaders

Helpful tips from the Nines conference

by Amy Jackson

Last week I had the privilege of virtually attending the Nines conference, which featured many different pastors and leaders discussing hot topics over two days. One interesting topic covered was handling rogue leaders. Brian Tome from Crossroads Church in Cincinnati, Ohio, offered tips—things he learned the hard way as he dealt with this difficult issue—and two really stood out to me.

First, he said it's crucial that we say the hard things before it's hard to say. In other words, make your expectations clear and speak up about the problem from the beginning. Don't wait until the problem is out of control.

Second, it's important that we play biblical instead of nice. That took a second to sink in for me, but it's true. If we're more concerned about being nice than handling things in the way Scripture instructs, we're essentially rogue leaders ourselves.

If you lead a small-group ministry or coach leaders, you're bound to experience a few rogue leaders, but these two tips can help minimize the impact. If we're clear from the beginning about our expectations, we set a solid foundation. And if leaders step outside those boundaries, we can call them on it. Plus, if we're willing to have the hard conversations at the first hint of something gone astray, we may be able to nip it in the bud.

The second tip becomes key when the situation has developed and we have to deal with it. That's hard to live by for relational small-group ministers and coaches like us. Too often, though, the reason we try to be nice is to protect ourselves: we're afraid of what the leader will say to or think of us, or how uncomfortable we'll feel. If, though, we focus on our love for the other person rather than our own comfort, it may be easier to "play biblical."

What have you found helpful in dealing with rogue leaders? Share with us below.

Plus, check out Ministering to Struggling Small-Group Leaders for tips from others.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:54 AM on October 31, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

October 24, 2012

Invest in Others

Don't overlook this incredible opportunity.

by Amy Jackson

As we create our discussion questions, clean the house, and make sure someone's bringing a snack, we may forget an important opportunity that we small-group leaders have: to add value to our group members, to build them up and encourage them.

Heather Zempel, author of Community Is Messy, is incredibly intentional about investing in people and adding value to them. In this article she lists seven ways leaders can invest in others such as make their day, listen, and approach every person as someone who can teach you something.

Read the full article and let us know what you do to invest in your group members.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:27 AM on October 24, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

October 18, 2012

How Much Should I Share?

Consider healthy boundaries with group members.

by Amy Jackson

One of the most common questions I hear from small-group leaders is, "How much should I share with my group members?" We leaders worry that we'll share too much, scaring away our group members. On the other hand, we worry that we haven't shared enough in order to model vulnerability. Then, throw on the fact that sometimes what's bothering us is a situation that we've been made privy to only because of our leadership position.

In Healthy Boundaries for Small Groups, our newest Training Tool, Will Johnston offers some wise advice. As the Group Catalyst for National Community Church in Washington, D.C., he's run into this question a few times himself. Here's how he responds:

The question isn't, "What is appropriate to share with my small group?" The answer to that is everything. Everything is up for disclosure and discussion.
Rather, the question is, "What should I share with my small group at this moment in my development and in the development of the group?"

In a group where bonds are strong, where ties go deep, where there is trust and love among the members, it may be appropriate to share your deepest, darkest secret with the entire group. In a group that has just formed, where people may not even know each other's names, you probably don't want to unload every hurt and hang-up you have.

I love that he changes the question so that it's not about us anymore—it's about our group members and their edification. Read the rest of his wisdom on how to share transparently and appropriately in Healthy Boundaries for Small Groups.

posted by Amy Jackson at 9:24 AM on October 18, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

October 17, 2012

Making the Move to Missional

Six steps to a new missional focus

by Amy Jackson

What does it take to get your small group on mission? Carter Moss breaks it down to six steps: cast vision, covenant together, commission groups, create new rhythms, coach leaders, and communicate missional stories. They're not easy steps, but they will move your small group in the right direction. Plus, they create momentum: as you communicate missional stories, you'll cast vision, and that will entice more people to join in God's mission.

And before you knock the "six simple steps" approach, know that Moss serves as the Small Group Champion for Community Christian Church's 12 campuses, and he's led their small groups into missional living. While he admits he's still learning a lot, he's happy to share these tips with you. Plus, view his video on troubleshooting common issues groups face when making the move to missional living.

posted by Amy Jackson at 12:17 PM on October 17, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

October 11, 2012

Where's the Missional Movement Heading?

Why one person says it's bound to fail

by Amy Jackson

Mike Breen, a pioneer in the missional movement, has an intriguing new blog post out: “Why the Missional Movement Will Fail.” The article certainly caught my attention.

Instead of denouncing his life focus over the last few decades, Breen says that focusing on mission is like ogling a beautiful car with no engine. The engine of missional living, says Breen, is discipleship, and if we don’t focus on building up disciples, our missional efforts will most certainly fail. His point: missional living can’t be done in a “vacuum outside of knowing God and being shaped by that relationship.”

As small-group leaders we have an urgent responsibility. We must help our small-group members see that missional living is essential—but only as an outflow of a vibrant relationship with Christ. Missional living isn’t just something that we do because we’re supposed to do it. Instead, we’re compelled to live missionally because we are who we are in Christ. What God is doing inside us flows out as missional living. Let’s not switch the order of these two.

For more on missional living, including an article on how missional living and discipleship go hand in hand, read our digital magazine The Meaning of Missional.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on October 11, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

October 10, 2012

Removing Group Members

Is it ever okay?

by Amy Jackson

All small groups seem to have some interesting group members, people who change the dynamics of the group--and not for the better. But most of the time, getting the meeting back on track is just a matter of learning a few tactics to regroup and refocus the individual member and the group.

On the other hand, some groups will have a particularly difficult member. So I want to know: Is it ever okay to ask a group member to leave the group? And if so, what are the circumstances that make it okay? Share your thoughts with us below.

For one take on this, read JoHannah Reardon’s thoughts. She serves as the managing editor of ChristianBibleStudies.com.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:26 AM on October 10, 2012 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

October 8, 2012

Women in a Male-Dominated World

Working within the structure to make the most of your role

by Amy Jackson

For several years, I had the privilege of serving on the pastoral staff team of a small church.

I was the only woman.

The men I worked with were incredibly gracious and worked hard to include me, regardless of my gender. And I'm so thankful for all the ways God used our team as we ministered together.

But some churches aren't as gracious toward women in leadership roles. If you've found yourself in a situation where you're the only woman in a leadership position at your church, you'll appreciate "Making the Most of Your Role" from our sister ministry, Gifted for Leadership. Give it a quick read and consider how to make the most of your role in a trying situation.

What tips do you have for other women in this position? Share with us below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 12:28 PM on October 8, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

October 5, 2012

The Power of Music

Free playlists to use with your small group

by Amy Jackson

Ever notice how well music can set the mood? Bring the power of music to your small-group meetings. Playing upbeat worship music as you gather and catch up sets the tone for praise. Playing Christmas music during a holiday gathering sets the tone for festive fun. And playing slow, meaningful songs during your meeting sets the tone for serious reflection.

To help you set the tone for your next meeting, SmallGroups.com has been creating some free playlists for you on Grooveshark. We'll be adding more playlists in the coming weeks. Our first playlist for you is our Confession and Forgiveness playlist, which is perfect to use with Fiery Forgiveness, an activity on confession and forgiveness from Keri Wyatt Kent.

Use our free playlists at your next meeting, and let us know what you think.

posted by Amy Jackson at 12:41 PM on October 5, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

September 27, 2012

Snacks, Prayer Requests, and Confidentiality

The power of private Facebook groups for small groups

by Amy Jackson

This fall I started leading a new small group. Through the discussion at our first meeting, I realized that all of the group members are very active on Facebook—and would actually prefer to be contacted through Facebook over phone calls or e-mails. To meet the need for ongoing communication that all small groups have, I resorted to something I learned while editing Social Media for Small-Group Ministry: Create a private group on Facebook and invite your group members.

It's only been a few weeks since we started, but already I'm finding that our Facebook group is helping us stay connected. I asked someone to bring snack and reminded group members about a Bible reading challenge our church is doing. Several of us have posted prayer requests—and it's safe to do this because private groups are only seen by those in the group. In other words, nothing posted on the group's page is seen by anyone else.

Our resource Social Media for Small-Group Ministry has lots of great ideas with practical how-to tips on using Facebook and Twitter to enhance your small group.

How do you use social media with your group members? What results have you seen? Share with us below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 2:17 PM on September 27, 2012 | Comments (3) | Trackbacks (0)

September 25, 2012

Emotional Sensitivity

How sensitive are you and your group members?

by Amy Jackson

In our newest Assessment Pack, you'll learn whether your group is building accountability. Included are seven assessments for you to evaluate the group and three assessments to give to group members for self-assessment. You'll discover if your group members are deepening relationships with one another, if you've created a safe environment for accountability, if you're listening well to your group members, and more.

Mark Bonham explains that it's very important for you and your group members to be emotionally sensitive in order to create an environment safe for accountability. Here's a short excerpt from his assessment.

Do you show sensitivity when you respond to group members? Rate yourself between one and five (1=Never True, 3=Sometimes True, 5=Always true).

____I don't jump to advice-giving.

____I give the sharer space and time to find his or her own answers.

____I never push into others' stories when it's clearly unwanted.

____I share by using "I" statements and without placing blame.

____I don't minimize hurts by explaining them away or ignoring them.

____I uphold confidentiality.

Check out the full Assessment Pack today and learn whether you're building accountability in your group.

posted by Amy Jackson at 4:18 PM on September 25, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

September 24, 2012

How Well Are We Serving You?

What's next for SmallGroups.com

by Amy Jackson

Ready or not, 2013 is only about three months away, and at SmallGroups.com we're beginning to make plans. We want to serve you and your small-group ministry well, providing you with the tools and resources you need to lead life-changing groups and small-group ministries.

In order to do that, we need to know what you like (and don't like!) about SmallGroups.com. Take our survey and let us know what you think. We'll reward you with $10 off at BuildingChurchLeaders.com.

Thanks for taking the time to inform us!

posted by Amy Jackson at 12:13 PM on September 24, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

September 20, 2012

Resource Review: 'Field Guide for Small Group Leaders'

The ins and outs of crafting effective, transformative meetings

by Amy Jackson

Field%20Guide%20for%20Small%20Group%20Leaders.jpg

All small-group leaders have something in common: that moment we find ourselves in a panic wondering what we've gotten ourselves into. And chances are, as you prepared for your first meeting, those feelings were strong. How in the world do I structure my meetings? How do I come up with good questions? How do I get people to talk?

New leaders these days are lucky—they can use Sam O'Neal's Field Guide for Small Group Leaders to give them expert advice and calm their nerves. And veteran leaders can benefit from it, too—there's so much to learn and brush up on.

O'Neal covers everything from the role of leaders and learning styles to crafting meaningful meetings and handling unwanted surprises. The book is divided into three helpful sections: Mapping the Terrain (the basics of the leader's role), Planning Your Route (crafting a great meeting with focus, activities, and discussion questions), and Hitting the Trail (leading the meeting and troubleshooting issues).

One of the most helpful tips I found in the book is the need to identify the "Big Idea" of each meeting. O'Neal says that in order to bring focus to a meeting, we must look at our study material and pick out the one major point we want to get across in our discussion. Then we can choose a few questions to discuss that directly relate to that Big Idea. This keeps the focus narrow and the meeting succinct. Without this focus it's too tempting to talk about all the themes in a chapter of Scripture, but we simply don't have time in our hour-and-a-half meetings.

O'Neal stresses that small groups have the goal of life change. And in order to accomplish that goal, leaders must focus on application and inspiration in the meetings. If leaders don't help group members take their next spiritual steps, small groups will simply be a fun social gathering with interesting conversations. Luckily, O'Neal gives great advice in this area as well.

O'Neal has over 10 years of experience in small-group ministry and is a former editor of SmallGroups.com. Read Field Guide for Small Group Leaders today and buy it for any new leaders you know.

For excerpts from the book, read "Give Your Study Some Context" and "Use Teachable Moments to Your Advantage."

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:51 AM on September 20, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

September 18, 2012

Not Just for a Few

Why missional living is for all Christians

by Amy Jackson

Sometimes when we hear the word "missional," we immediately assume it's for someone else—someone who is gifted in evangelism or someone who has extensive ties to the non-Christian community. But Scott Nelson says that's not what missional living is about. Instead, every Christian can participate in everyday missional living. We just have to be intentional, looking for ways to be God's love in the world.

In his article in The Meaning of Missional, Scott shares several stories of average, everyday Christians looking for ordinary ways to impact their communities. One woman joined a local gym and works out with the same, non-Christian women each week. A man spends time playing Uno with a handicapped woman. A high school teacher loves on her students. Family members build deep friendships with their neighbors.

We can all live missionally right where we are—as long as we're being intentional. Read Scott's article today. Then share with us below: How you are and your small group seeking to impact your community?

posted by Amy Jackson at 11:10 AM on September 18, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

September 14, 2012

Share Your Missional Story

There's even money to be won!

by Amy Jackson

Lately, SmallGroups.com has been talking a lot about what it means to be missional—how we can be small groups that gather and grow not just for our sake, but for the sake of God's redemptive purposes. (Check out our digital magazine for more.)

Well, I believe your groups have been doing this—impacting the world by being on mission with God. And we'd love to hear your stories. In fact, our sister ministry This Is Our City would really like to hear them. Today they launched an essay contest, looking specifically for stories of how Christians are impacting their communities for God. See the full details for the contest here. If you've got a story to tell, why not try your hand at writing about it?

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:59 AM on September 14, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

September 13, 2012

Resource Review: 'Community Is Messy'

Focus on the discipleship opportunity in small-group ministry.

by Amy Jackson

Do you treat small-group ministry like a program or a discipleship opportunity? Heather Zempel, in Community Is Messy, urges readers to the latter. But she also admits the difficulty. She writes:

Discipleship is a whole life journey, not an eight-week class. It's about developing the fruit of the Spirit and spiritual gifts and looking more like Christ, not about checking off a set of boxes. It's a process of becoming, not a destination. There's no way to short-circuit discipleship. It's about turning every moment of every day into an encounter with God.

While many of us whole heartedly agree with her definition of discipleship, we realize that measuring discipleship and spiritual growth is difficult, even messy. So we resort to running our small groups—our main means of discipleship—like an eight-week class instead of a journey.

So how do we lead our ministries in a way that recognizes and honors the messy journey of discipleship? Zempel, who holds a degree in environmental engineering, suggests that small-group leaders must engineer environments that welcome true transformation and spiritual growth.

This focus on discipleship requires a lot more work and a lot more time. It requires life-on-life interactions that aren't scripted. It means intentionally investing in others and helping them see their potential. She writes that you need to be a little crazy in order to disciple others because "you have to see things in people that they don't see in themselves. And then you have to speak things into their lives or ask them to do things that they may scoff at or at least shake their heads and laugh at." It's messy, but according to Zempel, it's the way Jesus taught us: communities of believers living life together, learning about God along the way, and being drawn to him more and more.

More than anything, Zempel calls readers to value people more than programs. She calls us to be leaders who leave a legacy of relationships that we've invested in, and she gives great advice in being a strong leader: developing tough skin and a soft heart, being a life-long learner, thinking outside the box, modeling the life of Christ to others, cultivating a deep relationship with Christ, and embracing the mess of ministry.

Zempel also gives practical advice on handling "rogue" groups and finding a structure that fits your ministry. This combination of practical advice and focus on discipleship makes this one of the best books I've read on small-group ministry in a long time. It's especially helpful for coaches, directors, coordinators, and pastors who lead small-group ministries. On the other hand, small-group leaders can learn a lot from her focus on discipleship and being a strong leader that others want to follow.

Read "From Classroom to Laboratory" and "Life-on-Life Discipleship" for two excerpts from the book. You'll find a number of other articles from Zempel on our site as well. Buy the book today, which is also available in e-book form.

Heather Zempel is the pastor of discipleship at National Community Church in Washington, D.C., and has written numerous articles for SmallGroups.com.

posted by Amy Jackson at 12:00 PM on September 13, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

How Do You Train Small-Group Leaders?

Take our short survey and you could win!

by Amy Jackson

SmallGroups.com needs your help! We want to better serve small-group leaders, coaches, directors, coordinators, and pastors. But in order to that, we need to know more about how you lead your ministry.

Take our short survey on how you train small-group leaders, and you'll be entered to win a copy of Building a Life-Changing Small Group Ministry by Bill Donahue and Russ Robinson. Take the survey now.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:28 AM on September 13, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

September 6, 2012

The Return of 'Today's Christian Woman'

A great resource for women

by Amy Jackson

SmallGroups.com would like to officially welcome back Today's Christian Woman! This sister ministry of SmallGroups.com seeks to empower and encourage women to love God and live fearlessly. TCW has a fresh new look, bimonthly magazines, an engaging blog, practical resources, and articles on faith, marriage, parenting, ministry, and friendship. It's a great resource for you or the women in your ministry.

A few things you'll definitely want to check out:
Leadership, the AA Way by Nicole Unice
The Single Life Roundtable moderated by Andrea Bianchi
We Will All Fall by Laura Leonard

posted by Amy Jackson at 4:31 PM on September 6, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

September 4, 2012

What Are You Studying?

We want to know!

by Amy Jackson

With small groups starting all over the country, SmallGroups.com wants to know: what are you studying in your small group?

There are so many studies to choose from: books, devotionals, workbooks, Bible studies, video studies, and more. What did you choose? And what do you look for in a small-group study? Share with us below.

By the way, did you know that SmallGroups.com offers over 250 different studies? Browse our studies today and be sure to check out our Video Bible Studies. Want a free sample? See our freebies here.

posted by Amy Jackson at 4:08 PM on September 4, 2012 | Comments (3) | Trackbacks (0)

August 30, 2012

The Hope of the World

Is the church capable of this calling?

by Amy Jackson

My guess is that if you're part of small-group ministry in a church, you have high hopes for the church. You believe the church really can change the world and bring Christ's love to people who haven't experienced it yet.

On the other hand, if you're entrenched in church ministry, you may also find yourself wondering how all the programs and schedules and classes really help change the world with Christ's love.

So how can a church determine if it really has the potential to change the world? Boren says it all depends on the way a church relates to mission.

Scott Boren has written extensively about missional living and missional small groups. Recently he wrote on his blog that how churches relate to mission makes all the difference in their potential impact. Is your church a mission in itself? Does it have a mission? Or is it on mission? How the church relates to mission directly impacts how it will affect the world.

Read his blog post here, and let us know how your church relates to mission below.

For more from Scott Boren, check out our interview with him in our latest digital magazine.

posted by Amy Jackson at 9:03 AM on August 30, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

August 29, 2012

Choosing Death

Why death is necessary for new life

by Amy Jackson

In the Summer 2012 issue of Leadership Journal, John Ortberg poses the question: “What happens if we look at death and resurrection not just as events at the center of Holy Week, but as the primary framework for transformation on ordinary lives?”

He continues to flesh out the metaphor by explaining that there is a part of us that is “selfish and greedy and vain and cowardly,” and it needs to die because it’s killing us. He writes that we need to ask ourselves, “What is Jesus calling me to die to if I’m going to live?”

It got me thinking, What in my life needs to die? What’s holding me back from the life God has for me?

Small groups are about transformation and discipleship—about helping people live the lives God has called them to. If that’s our mission, how well are we helping group members identify the areas in their lives that need to die? How are we helping them say goodbye for good to those areas in their lives that are killing them slowly?

There’s a lot to think about in this article. Read it for yourself, and let us know what you think below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:23 AM on August 29, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

August 23, 2012

Using Private Facebook Groups

How your small group can take advantage of this popular tool

by Amy Jackson

Social%20Media%20for%20Small%20Group%20Ministry.jpg

The power of social media to connect people is absolutely amazing! And while many of us discuss how our connections are more shallow than in the past due to social media, I believe there's a way for social media to actually enhance our real-life, face to face interactions. To this end, SmallGroups.com recently released a new resource: Social Media for Small-Group Ministry.

In the resource, Keri Wyatt Kent shares how her group has had success using a private Facebook group to inform, connect, and mobilize group members. She shares why using the feature is helpful for her group, gives step-by-step instructions on setting up a private group, and explains the guidelines your group members should use. Plus, she includes a list of many advantages for leaders:

A Facebook group enables you to reach the whole group with one post, and allows them to interact with one another and respond to you quickly. Suppose the person hosting your next meeting suddenly can't do it. Instead of calling everyone, then calling them back to let them know where the meeting is, you could post: "John has to go out of town unexpectedly on business this week, so he can't host our Thursday meeting. Can someone else have it their house?" Everyone in the group will see this on the page and it will show up in their newsfeed. And if group members' smart phones are linked to Facebook, they'll instantly see that you've posted.

Rather than replying by e-mail, group members can simply comment on whatever you post—and hopefully one of them will volunteer to host. Everyone sees the interactions and is up-to-date on what the group decides. Visually, the string of comments looks like a conversation, which feels more like a group conversation than an e-mail string.

Beyond meeting details, you can use the group page to post prayer requests and answers. For example, you could post, "Don't forget to pray for Jane's upcoming job interview. Let us know how it goes, Jane!" Group members can then post responses saying they're praying. Jane can also respond with a report on the interview. It's nice for group members to hear about it right away from Jane, and it takes the job of disseminating group updates off your to-do list.

If you're studying a book, you could post a quote from the book or a question from the study guide to remind them to be preparing for the group meeting. You could also share information you've found online, such as articles or book reviews. Say you're trying to decide which curriculum or book to study next in your group. You could post a question asking members to weigh in. Group members can give suggestions, or link to books on Amazon to allow others to look more in-depth at resources.

Another idea is for coaches to create private groups for the leaders they shepherd. Coaches could ask how leaders' groups are going, post inspirational thoughts or passages, and share vision and important training dates. It's also a great place to provide links to resources and helpful training.

There's no reason the church—and your small group—can't use social media to its advantage. Read the rest of Keri Wyatt Kent's article and gain lots of tips and examples on using social media successfully for small-group ministry in our training tool.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on August 23, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

August 21, 2012

Why Mission Is at the Core of Discipleship

And what holds us back from forming misisonal disciples

by Amy Jackson

In our newest digital magazine, Alan Danielson writes an important note about discipleship: "In Christ's mind, discipleship is successful when followers become missionaries—when they combine discipleship with mission." I've been doing a lot of thinking about discipleship this week and the role small groups play in spiritual formation. I fear that too often we fail to empower group members to live out their mission—to discover who God has made them to be and take steps to live out of that identity, to join in God's story of redemption. Danielson explains several reasons we struggle with this in the excerpt below:

We think talking about mission is enough. This is a good place to start, but it's only the start. Just because we hear it doesn't mean it has fully impacted us.

We're guilty of not living out mission ourselves. As leaders, we often talk a good game, but don't even know our neighbors. We feel guilty telling others to live missional lives when we don’t do it ourselves.

Our discipleship systems don't promote mission. Our systems promote attendance, curriculum, discussion, and food. But they don't promote mission. People base their expectations on what we promote.

We measure the wrong things. We measure attendance, number of groups, and the percentage of our weekend attenders who are in groups, but those aren't the right things to measure. Truthfully, we often don't measure mission because it's hard to measure. It's not as clear cut as a spreadsheet of numbers.

We fail to understand why small groups exist. Too often we leaders think small groups exist to connect people within the church and close the back door. However, those are what I call the "happy side effects" of small groups. Think about it: the church exists for the world, not for itself. So, as the purest form of the church, small groups exist for the world, not for the members of the church.

The good news is that there is a way to overcome these obstacles. There is a way for our small groups to develop disciples who are on mission. To gain tips on overcoming these obstacles (and to learn about other obstacles we face), read Danielson's article in our digital magazine, The Meaning of Missional.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on August 21, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

August 16, 2012

In the Shelter of Each Other

How a Jars of Clay song gives a beautiful picture of small groups

by Amy Jackson

At church this weekend, our worship team led us in singing a 2010 Jars of Clay song called "Shelter." As I sang the lyrics, I was reminded of the beauty of small groups. In small groups, we gather in safe places of shelter—places where we can "set aside the names [we've] been given," and "set aside the lies [we've] been living." Small groups are places that we never walk alone.

I was most moved, though, by the following lyrics:

We must all believe
Our lives are not our own
We all belong
God has given us each other
And we will never walk alone
In the shelter of each other
We will live

It's so true: our lives are not our own. I believe this is true in the sense that our lives belong to God, and that we belong to one another. We are responsible to and for one another. This is a high calling and a humbling privilege. In small groups, we gather, believing that we belong to one another, that we can help one another to transform into the people God created us to be.

Small groups give us hope, help us grow, allow us to be who we are, and provide shelter from the storm of life. It's a beautiful picture. Reading these lyrics has reenergized me for small-group ministry this fall. What about you?

posted by Amy Jackson at 11:24 AM on August 16, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

August 14, 2012

Did You Know: Free Assessments

Free quizzes to use and share

by Amy Jackson

Whether you’re a small-group leader or a leader of small-group leaders, you need to know about our free assessments. These interactive quizzes take a few minutes to take and give instant results—and there's no need to be a member to take them. They even recommend some helpful resources. Use them for your own growth, or e-mail them to other leaders to take. If you're a coach or director, you could have your leaders report their scores to you to help you know what you need to train on.

We currently offer 10 assessments on topics like being a missional small group, mastering group dynamics, being too tired, listening well, and creating a great group atmosphere.

Use these assessments today and pass them along to other leaders by using the "e-mail assessment" button.

posted by Amy Jackson at 9:46 AM on August 14, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

August 9, 2012

Messy, Messy

How the mess of missional living is blessing me

by Amy Jackson

I've written before that missional living is messy, but I really want to drive home this fact: It's not for the faint of heart. Lately, I've been challenged by several situations that have highlighted the messiness of missional living, and it's caused me to reexamine what I really believe.

Not too long ago I sat behind a young couple at church. Their clothes were dirty and disheveled, yet I could tell they had tried to pick out clothes appropriate for church. They both had unkempt hair that hadn't seen water or a brush for some time. Worst, though, they reeked. The woman smelled like cigarettes, and the man smelled like a dirty diaper. As he shifted uneasily during the sermon, the stench wafted back at me. It made my stomach turn, and I found myself unconsciously leaning back in my seat, trying to put more distance between us.

I'll admit that my mind was screaming, "Get up and move! Get away from these people!" It took a lot of willpower to stay put. But I kept thinking, Aren't these the kind of people you want at church? The people you've prayed God would bring? Isn't it amazing that they had the courage to get up this morning and come here?

I don't remember much of the sermon that day. Instead, I prayed that God would give me courage and the words to make this couple feel welcome. After service, I struck up a brief conversation with the couple, introducing myself and asking their names. Sadly, it took a lot for me to look past the dirt, grime, and smell. I realized that morning that while I say I believe that all people are made in the image of God, my natural instinct definitely didn't align with that. However, I felt that tension and trusted God could fill the gap. And he did. It was an extremely short conversation, but I consider it a win for God. It challenged me to trust in him, trust in his truth—even if my trust was shown in an extremely small act.

Weeks later, my small group had the opportunity to bless an under-resourced mom and her two girls. They are on the cusp of homelessness. They do have a home, but there's not much money left over for anything else—including food. We brought tons of groceries over to their home, filling their cupboards and refrigerator. The mom was overwhelmed by the bags of groceries brought by the eight strangers invading her home.

The biggest blessing, though, had nothing to do with food. Instead, it was the love we gave her daughters—a 9-year-old and a 7-year-old. Her younger daughter was born with a condition that has left her severely deformed. Her body remains the size of a 1-year-old, and she must be carried around like a baby, unable to walk or sit on her own. She also can't speak. Because people aren't sure how to act toward this young girl, many just look away.

I, too, was nervous to interact with this young girl. Would I hurt her? Does she understand what people are saying to her, or should I speak to her like a baby? Could she communicate at all? What should I talk to this young girl about? Would she be scared of me?

Despite these questions, two of us sat holding her while the rest of the group helped the mom put away the groceries. When I said "hello," she smiled so wide. A grin snuck onto my face. We held her, brushing through her hair with our fingers, telling her how beautiful she is. The woman with me had brought her own daughter who promptly asked what was wrong with this little girl. My friend quickly responded, "That's how God made her. Isn't she beautiful?"

What astonished me was this young girl's wit. While she looks like a very young child, even a baby, her brain obviously functions at a higher level. As we talked with her, she warmed up to us and began "bumping us"—touching her fist to our fists—her own way of saying "hello." Pretty soon she started to fake us out. She would put up her fist to "bump us," but when we put our fists up, she would move her hand away and start laughing hysterically. I couldn't help but laugh, too.

I left feeling that I'd made a new friend, very different from how I thought I might feel afterward. I'll admit this was a tough experience for me. I was nervous about what it would be like, and I had questions that made me want to stand back. But God used this situation to stretch me, to remind me that each and every person is made in the image of God.

Twice in a matter of weeks, God put me in situations where he challenged what I believe. In essence, he asked me, "Do you really believe that every person is made in my image?" I'll admit my heart hadn't bought in like my mind had. But these experiences have done a lot to convince my heart.

When we're on mission for God, we live our lives in a way that makes the kingdom present, that makes Jesus present. We live by God's values instead of society's values. We bring the love of God to each person we interact with. (And we experience the love of God in others.)

And all that can get pretty messy.

But that's the way we grow. God meets us in the tension we feel, offering to fill the gap with his strength, grace, and love. And we find that as we seek to bless others, we are blessed beyond our imagination.

For more on missional living, read our free digizine.

How are you helping your group members live on mission? How are you encouraging them to offer up to God the tension they feel so they can grow?

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on August 9, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

August 7, 2012

Free Digizine: The Meaning of Missional

Find out how small groups can serve God's redemptive purposes.

by Amy Jackson

I love getting things for free—especially when they're actually valuable. Assuming you do, too, I'm happy to present our brand-new, completely free SmallGroups.com digital magazine! Our current issue is all about what it means to be missional and how to help your group members catch the vision.

In The Meaning of Missional, you'll discover examples of people living missionally, clear explanations of what missional means (especially for your small group) and why it's important, and practical tips on moving into missional living. Plus, use our meeting builders to help your group catch the vision of missional living. And our resource reviews will give you further information.

Our digizine is jam-packed with tons of great information that's perfect for you as you lead a small group, small-group leaders, or a whole small-group ministry. If you do coach or train leaders, use our digizine to help them learn what it means to be missional. It's a great resource for your next training session.

We'd love for you to pass this free resource along to your friends, family, leaders, coworkers, and ministry friends. And let us know what you think below! We'd love to hear your thoughts.

posted by Amy Jackson at 9:36 AM on August 7, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

August 2, 2012

Fall Is Quickly Approaching

What are you doing to prepare?

by Amy Jackson

As churches around the country gear up for the fall ministry launch, we hope you’re excited and well on your way to being prepared to launch your group or small-group ministry. Fall is a great time to launch groups—it's a time when lots of new people come to church, lots of old people return to church, and people are forming their regular schedules for the rest of the school year. And a return to regular schedules means it’s easier for potential group members to commit to a small group because they know when they're available to meet

So what are you doing to prepare for the fall? Do you have any official launch activities planned? Do you spend extra time training leaders? Do you have a fun BBQ planned for your small group?

For lots of resources on launching and relaunching, click here.

Let us know what you’re doing to prepare for the fall below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:48 AM on August 2, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

August 1, 2012

Important Communication Skills

How to ask questions that facilitate change

by Amy Jackson

Many years ago, a wise woman told me that as a small-group leader I needs to ask lots and lots of good questions. In fact, if I was ever tempted to simply tell something, I should rephrase it as a genuine question, allowing group members to discover the truth on their own.

Sometimes when we formulate our study questions for our meetings, we forget how powerful good questions can be. They invite others to think, to process, and to discover. But asking good questions takes practice. And it takes our full attention, our full presence in the moment.

Read this insightful article called Conversation Skills that Transform from our sister publication, Leadership Journal. Kevin Miller, a pastor in Wheaton, IL, explains what he's learned.

posted by Amy Jackson at 12:31 PM on August 1, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

July 26, 2012

Don't Underestimate the Environment

How to prepare your meeting space

by Amy Jackson

Many times when small-group leaders prepare for a meeting, they focus on looking at the study, praying, and formulating questions—all keys to preparing for a life-changing discussion. But there's something else that needs our attention, too: the meeting environment. Setting the right tone for the meeting has a lot to do with the physical environment. Joel Comiskey offers several considerations when preparing the meeting space in his article "How to Prepare for Small-Group Meetings" from our resource Leading 101:

Seating Arrange the seating so each person can see every other person in the group. A circle is the best choice. As the leader, place your chair on the same level as the rest of those in the group—neither as the focal point nor in the background. If your home is spacious, move the chairs into a close circle, thus occupying only a portion of the room. When people are spread far apart, it's harder to openly share thoughts and feelings.
Some people feel intimidated about opening their homes because they're not as large or luxurious as those of other church members. Don't listen to this argument. Actually, a small apartment or home generates warmth and closeness and reminds the group that they eventually will need to multiply.

Refreshments
Refreshment time isn't something simply tacked onto small-group ministry; it's a vital part. The refreshment time is often the best moment to ask personal questions, get to know one another on a deeper level, or set a fun and relaxed mood.

If the host home is always providing the refreshments, ask the host if it's becoming a burden and whether it would be good to find someone else to provide refreshments. Or, you could assign someone on your planning team to take care of the refreshment schedule. This gets other group members involved, and they begin to feel more ownership for the group.

Distractions
Turn off telephone ringers and mute the volume on your answering machine. Put pets in another room or outside. Turn off TV sets, radios, and computers during a meeting. Don't let distraction get in the way of community. Make sure each member can concentrate on the other people present.

Time
If someone other than yourself is hosting the group, arrive 10 minutes early to make sure everything is ready to start. If you begin on time regardless of latecomers, you're sending the signal that every part of the meeting is important.

Additionally, make sure you close on time. I like small-group meetings to last about an hour and a half. Members have a lot of responsibilities, and they might think twice about attending the next week if the meeting goes too long.

Other Details
• Make sure the guest bathroom is clean before the group begins. Is there toilet paper, soap, a towel?
• The temperature in the home increases as more people pack into a room. Members can become agitated and uncomfortable if there is a lack of fresh, cool air. Be sensitive to the needs of those in the room.
• The lighting should be bright enough for everyone to read, but low enough to feel cozy. If it's too dark, people will have a harder time following along in their Bibles or on handouts.

For the rest of Comiskey's article, and for tips on facilitating discussion, see Leading 101.

What do you do to prepare the meeting space? Share your suggestions below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:16 AM on July 26, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

July 19, 2012

Challenging Situations

Putting ourselves on the road to spiritual growth

by Amy Jackson

Growth requires that our normal ways are challenged—the way we think, the things we value, the amount of money we spend at Target. Without feeling challenged, we simply continue in our same routines. While most of us would say we want to grow spiritually, how many of us take off running any time we're challenged? We make our lives as comfortable, conflict free, and full of luxuries as we can.

As I've studied spiritual formation, I've learned that we need disequilibrating experiences, things that shake up our norm enough to make space for the Spirit. (That's why spiritual disciplines like fasting are so great—they force us to change up our routines.) The problem is that even when we aren't actively seeking out comfort, American culture throws plenty of comfort and convenience our way. Think about it: How many people in the world can drive 10 miles or less to a grocery store which has produce year-round from around the world, regardless of natural growing seasons? It's easy to take all our conveniences for granted.

If small groups are an excellent place to nurture spiritual formation (and I believe they are), we'll need to continually introduce our group members to challenging statements, people, and situations. In other words, if our small-group meetings are the most comfortable time of our weeks, we're doing something wrong. If we're not experiencing challenging situations together, reading Jesus' controversial statements, or taking steps of faith regularly, we're missing an opportunity to grow. Instead, we're simply gathering for fun, for social reasons.

This is why I believe Jesus' call for us to be on mission is really smart. When you're on mission with clear purpose, you'll continually run into situations that challenge you. You're given the opportunity time and time again to rise to the challenge, growing in your faith. If you serve together at a homeless shelter, you'll run into people, situations, and cultural ills that will challenge you. Do I really believe what God's Word says? Do I really believe God can work through governments for his purposes? Do I really believe I should give grace and mercy to everyone—even those who have made bad decisions?

If you're reading through James and you genuinely talk about the implications of his words, you'll encounter some difficult imperatives. How is my faith shown in the way I respond to my neighbor's needs? Am I actually growing in being slow to anger? Do I really listen to God's Word and let it change me?

To keep your group members from getting too complacent, you should look for opportunities to challenge them. But to make sure these experiences encourage growth instead of fear, here are a few tips:

1. Prepare your group as much as possible ahead of time.
Are you going to the homeless shelter? Explain how things work there as much as you can. Clearly lay out what you'll do while you're there. Discuss any rules they'll need to know.

If you're going to be reading through a difficult passage of Scripture, give a brief synopsis of the text and explain its historical context. Clue group members in to key topics and ideas.

2. Debrief afterward.
Plan for plenty of time for group members to share their feelings about the experience. Let them sit and reflect for a while. Encourage them to think about how it has affected them on an emotional level. Allow group members to share parts of the experience that were difficult, that may have made them especially uncomfortable. Invite them to share their honest questions and comments. Affirm group members' feelings and thoughts. Address unresolved issues if possible. At the same time, recognize that discomfort often makes room for the Spirit to work, for transformation to occur.

By preparing your group ahead of time and allowing them to debrief afterward, you'll create a safe place to explore the challenges you face together. As your group members experience challenge and encourage one another to take steps of faith, you'll all experience spiritual growth.

For more on helping group members grow, see Empowering Group Members, Meaningful Application in Small Groups, and Leading a Life-Changing Bible Study.

posted by Amy Jackson at 3:03 PM on July 19, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

July 16, 2012

Reflecting on What It Means to Be Missional

A sneak peek from our new digizine

by Amy Jackson

We're putting on the finishing touches to our yearly digizine, and I'm so excited for you to see it. It will be available on August 7, so keep your eyes open for a blog post announcing its arrival. In the meantime, I thought I'd give you a little sneak peak.

Our digizine, The Meaning of Missional, is all about what it means to live missionally, especially as a small group. And we have articles from people who have been leading the way in missional small groups including Alan Danielson of New Life Bible Church in Norman, Oklahoma, Carter Moss of Community Christian Church in Naperville, Illinois, and Scott Nelson of ForgeAmerica.

I also had the privilege of interviewing Scott Boren, author of MissioRelate and Missional Small Groups. He's been part of missional small groups for a long time, and he's passionate about helping churches move their small groups toward missional living. We talked about the many challenges of missional living and what it will take for small groups to catch the vision and begin living missionally.

My favorite part, though, was when Boren explained, in simple terms, what missional living looks like. Among other things, he said we need to ask, "How do we embody the way of Christ in our local neighborhoods right here, right now in a way that is attractive and beautiful and winsome and demonstrates the kingdom? Not so people will come, but because that's who God has called us to be—whether or not people respond."

I've been reflecting on that quotation ever since. I feel too often we try to be missional only with the goal of newcomers in mind; in other words, we're asking, "How do we get people to respond to the Gospel?" When we do that, we forget that God calls us to obey him regardless of the outcome. We serve the needy regardless of whether they begin to follow him. We give generously regardless of whether we receive generosity. We love people and offer grace regardless of whether we're offered grace and love in return. It reminds me that we don't cause people to respond; the Spirit does.

The truth is that God has called us to live out kingdom values regardless of the outcome—just because that's what he's called us to do. The more I reflect on this truth, the more I fall in love with God. He's after our hearts, not what we can produce, and that's a beautiful thing.

posted by Amy Jackson at 5:01 PM on July 16, 2012 | Comments (3) | Trackbacks (0)

Our Most Popular Training Resources

The top five so far this year

by Amy Jackson

If you haven't used our downloadable training resources, you're missing out. These resources are an amazing value. For only $14.95, you get field-tested advice from experts in the small-group field. And we seek to provide resources for your every need in small-group ministry. From the basics of group facilitation to handling conflict to using the Bible well, our resources help you lead your group with excellence. As always, our resources may be downloaded once and copied up to 1,000 times within your ministry context.

This year's top five resources are especially great. The number one resource is our brand-new Small-Group Director Orientation Guide. It provides practical tips, a job description, and even encouragement as you serve in this role. The other top resources will teach you how to birth groups well, empower group members, keep groups connected to your church, and use exegesis and hermeneutics in your Bible study.

1. Small-Group Director Orientation Guide
2. Birthing Groups Well
3. Empowering Group Members
4. Staying Connected to Your Church
5. Exegesis and Hermeneutics for Small Groups

In addition, one of our most popular resources year after year is our Small-Group Leader Orientation Guide. Consider using it for yourself as a refresher course, or with your new leaders this fall.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on July 16, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

Our Most Popular Group Studies

The top five so far this year

by Amy Jackson

If you've ever used one of our downloadable Bible studies, you know how valuable they are. They're on pertinent topics, and they're a great value. Download once and you're able to make up to 1,000 copies for use in your ministry—no need to purchase several copies of a book or workbook. Plus, we have a huge variety of topics and studies of different lengths. We also offer many Video Bible Studies with study guides. Looking for suggestions? Here are our most popular resources of 2012 so far.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on July 16, 2012 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

July 12, 2012

Our Most Popular Articles

Top five articles of the first half of 2012

by Amy Jackson

One of our biggest assets at SmallGroups.com is our numerous articles. We post at least six new articles per month on all sorts of small-group topics. You can use them to train leaders, to consider a new direction for your small-group ministry, to be encouraged, or even to be challenged to grow deeper in your faith. And our most popular articles so far this year show a good mixture of the different types of articles we have.

Learn practical ways to measure spiritual growth from Alan Danielson, read an excerpt from Ruth Haley Barton's Invitation to Solitude and Silence, and hear from Bill Search on the essential elements of small groups. Plus, Carolyn Taketa gives great ideas on keeping your small group connected to your church, and Reid Smith gives a whopping 20 ideas for incorporating prayer in your meetings.

Here are the top five so far this year:

1. Measuring Spiritual Growth
2. Recognizing When We're Dangerously Tired
3. Three Elements of Vibrant Small Groups
4. Connecting Your Small Group with Your Church
5. Laying a Solid Foundation with Prayer

posted by Amy Jackson at 9:11 AM on July 12, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

July 10, 2012

Our Most Popular Blog Posts

Your favorites in 2012 so far

by Amy Jackson

With half of 2012 in the books, I thought it was time to take a look back and see what's been catching your eye on SmallGroups.com. In our next few blog posts, we'll recap our top five blog posts, articles, and resources. Today we're looking at our top blog posts of 2012. The number one blog post, Recognizing a Blind Spot in Church Culture, was first by a landslide. Read my observations on introverts in the church. In our top five, you'll also find a funny account of Rachel and Jacob visiting your small group, a helpful training video from National Community Church, a story of a small group on mission, and some great resources to go along with The Hunger Games.

Here are the top five blog posts so far this year:

1. Recognizing a Blind Spot in Church Culture
2. Guess Who's Coming to Small Group?
3. How Do You Train Your Small-Group Leaders?
4. Leaving the Neat and Tidy Behind
5. Finding God in the 'Hunger Games'

Let us know what you think. What's your favorite blog post of 2012?

posted by Amy Jackson at 5:04 PM on July 10, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

July 6, 2012

Support for Small-Group Directors

The perfect resources for you

by Amy Jackson

Whether you're called the small-group director, pastor, champion, or coordinator, you're the one leading the small-group ministry. And if that's you, you know what an amazing and challenging adventure it can be. From organizing the structure of the ministry to meeting with coaches to talking about small groups from the pulpit, the small-group director makes sure that small groups have what they need to be successful. It's no small task, and yet many small-group directors find they're given a small-group ministry with little to no instruction.

That's why we've created the Small-Group Director Orientation Guide. This guide will help lay a solid foundation for small-group point people. With a refresher course on the purpose of small groups, directions on how to choose the right structure for your ministry, and realistic ideas for training leaders, this resource will help small-group directors start, restart, or reexamine their small-group ministries. Plus, if you've inherited your ministry, there's a great article on how to take charge without losing leaders who were loyal to the previous director.

For a sample from this resource, see Three Elements of Vibrant Small Groups.

Looking for other resources made just for you? Try Making a Case for Small Groups, Improving Communication for Effective Small-Group Ministry, and Creative Leader Training.

Are you the small-group point person at your church? What kind of training did you receive?

posted by Amy Jackson at 11:52 AM on July 6, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

July 3, 2012

Happy Independence Day!

And a study on navigating dual citizenship

by Amy Jackson

As you celebrate freedom this week, consider the ultimate freedom you have in Christ. One of my favorite verses is Galatians 5:1: "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." What a great reminder! Christ sets us free so that we can live life fully for him, ushering in his kingdom on earth.

But it can be tricky to understand what our role should be in politics, government, and culture. How much should we influence the governments of the earthly kingdoms we occupy? How involved should we be in politics? What relationship should we have to the culture?

To answer these questions and more, use our new Bible study Dual Citizenship with your small group. It's especially great timing as we head into election season. With 10 sessions, this study can take you through the summer and into the fall.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on July 3, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

June 28, 2012

Small Groups Aren't for Me!

Allen White answers common excuses

by Amy Jackson

When talking about small groups, I have often heard people remark, "I can't be in a small group because . . ." As soon as I hear those words, I'm sad. Small groups come in multiple shapes and sizes and with various schedules, and I believe they should be able to find one that fits.

One of the most common excuses I've heard (and it may be the same for you) is "I just don't have enough time." Maybe he or she works late, has children in extracurricular activities, or is involved in multiple other ministries in the church. Realistically, there are seasons of life where we are a lot busier than normal. On the other hand, this is sometimes a way of life for people.

While we can argue that we need to teach people how to prioritize and slow down, living life with a less hectic schedule, it's hard to convince someone who's never been in a small group that small groups really are important enough to change their schedule. Allen White offers some advice in our newest download, Making a Case for Small Groups. He writes:

Students are busy, retired people are busy, and parents are busy—we're all busy! "I'm too busy" really means "I have other priorities" or "I have better things to do." People make time to do the things they want to do. If you're hearing "I'm too busy," it simply means they're choosing something over small groups.
In order to move small group higher on their priority lists, they will need to demote or eliminate something else. Most people don't make changes like this unless there are compelling reasons for the change, so give them an opportunity to try out small groups and see why they're important. If you offer groups for a limited time period—like a trial run—and offer groups at times that could fit in their schedules, they might give it a try. Additionally, share stories from small groups at weekend services and from the pulpit. If people see the value of small groups—and not just because they're a fun, social hang out—they'll be more likely to reprioritize.

If you meet someone busy with other ministry work, Allen offers this advice:

Serving in a ministry is a great way to allow God to use us in our church body. It's also a great way to connect new people to your church. When they serve, they feel a sense of ownership. But, activity doesn't guarantee community—just because someone serves as a greeter every week doesn’t mean he or she feels connected or has a safe place to go for support.
Most groups build community around a Bible study. The idea is to create a place where people are known and know each other. They care for each other, support each other, and share God's Word with each other. Can similar goals be met in a group that forms around serving instead of a Bible study? I think so. This is more than ushers joining hands before they pick up their stack of bulletins. Serving teams can share personal needs and God's Word together. This may involve a meeting apart from the serving opportunity. For instance, the ushers could meet every Tuesday night to share life together in addition to serving at weekend services. The worship team could share a devotional time before beginning practice each week. When serving teams gather for intentional community, needs are met without adding another circle of friends or another ministry to the mix.

Overall, Allen reminds us to show people the value of small groups, and to remove any barriers we can that may hold people back. See Making a Case for Small Groups to read the rest of Allen White's article, "Small Groups Aren't for Me!" In it, he answers several other common excuses for not joining a small group.

How have you answered the excuse of "I'm too busy"? Share with us below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 9:16 AM on June 28, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

June 25, 2012

Being Known

By God and others

by Amy Jackson

When I started working at SmallGroups.com, I had the opportunity to get to know my new coworkers and let them get to know me. I'll admit that I tried to present my best self to them, watching my words and actions carefully. I wanted them to have a good impression of me . . . I wanted them to like me.

But this all changed very suddenly. One day as a few of us went outside for a walk, I expressed my excitement by exclaiming, "Woop woop!" It's weird, but it's something I do regularly. And I'd been hiding it from my coworkers. I instantly regretted this lapse of control. I was obviously feeling comfortable here; otherwise it never would have slipped out. But how comfortable would my new coworkers be?

There was a moment of silence as one of my coworkers turned to look at me. "Woop woop?" she asked. I blushed. She started to laugh and cried out "Woop woop!" I knew at that moment that I was becoming known, and they liked me regardless of my odd sayings.

Small groups have the opportunity to bring people together so they are truly known by one another. It may begin with silly sayings or habits, but hopefully it moves toward needs, struggles, and joys.

In her Kyria blog post, Amy Simpson writes about feeling known when she attended small, rural schools while growing up. And she explains how our desire to be known comes from God himself. Read her post here.

posted by Amy Jackson at 12:29 PM on June 25, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

June 22, 2012

Finding the Right Ministry Strategy

Why you need to look at your church's culture before implementing what works for other churches

by Amy Jackson

I recently finished reading Heather Zempel's new book, Community is Messy. It's not out until September (I'll review it in more depth then), but I want to share an insight with you. Heather, a contributor for SmallGroups.com, writes about the importance of understanding the culture, rhythm, and demographics of your church when planning for small-group ministry. Ministering at National Community Church in D.C., she realized that the natural rhythm of life is a trimester system—students and politicians alike follow a schedule that divides fall, spring, and summer. Additionally, she observed their churchgoers are young—many in their 20s and 30s—and looking for clear ways to grow in their relationship with God. And the demographic is fairly transient, with very few people staying for more than a few years.

With these things in mind, she and her team came up with a plan for small-group ministry that fits their church. NCC runs small groups on a trimester schedule, offers several discipleship-heavy groups (e.g., Theology 101, Old Testament Survey), and allows several "black market" groups to exist so that people can try out creative ideas—even if they don't fit the church's structure.

Heather is the first to admit that she's still learning and trying new things, and she fully expects to change their system in the years to come. But I think she's done something that we often forget when we're planning for small-group ministry: she first looked at her church culture when planning. It's too easy to read a book from "Big Community Church," get excited about their success, and try to implement those ideas into our own ministries without adjusting them to fit our church culture. It's too tempting to apply their exact methods instead of simply the principles.

I would guess that we don't look at our church culture first because it's hard work. It's difficult to have an objective eye as we look at our churches, researching the rhythms, culture, and needs. It's difficult to look at our own structures and ministries with a (constructively) critical eye.

I would urge you to take Heather's advice: look first at your own church. Only then should you research ideas for ministry that fit your context.

For more from Heather Zempel, click here.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:03 AM on June 22, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

June 15, 2012

It's Summer!

Time for some fun with your small group.

by Amy Jackson

The summer can be a great time for your group to connect in new ways. Take advantage of the warmer weather and plan some fun activities to deepen friendships, build trust, and relax. Consider doing one event each month this summer to just have fun together: go paintballing, grill out, roast marshmallows, play Capture the Flag, see a movie, have a Bags or Corn Hole tournament, go bowling, attend your kids' sporting events, go camping, play board games, explore a local tourist attraction, hike a trail, or go golfing (or disc-golfing). Think outside your regular activities and explore a group member's favorite pastime. Invite group members' kids. Enjoy each other's company, and spend time chatting and laughing together without an agenda.

SmallGroups.com has lots of ideas to think outside the box of your regular group meeting this summer:

Fun Summer Recipes
Frozen Strawberry Pie
Orange Ice
Hawaiian Frozen Salad

Resources on Maximizing the Summer
Staying Connected Through the Summer
Plan a One-Day Retreat for Your Small Group
Four Pack: Maximizing the Summer Months
Making Small Groups Fun!

Do you have other ideas for the summer? Share with us below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 12:43 PM on June 15, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

June 11, 2012

Life Well-Lived for the Kingdom

Setting an example for emerging adults

by Amy Jackson

Today our newest Practical Ministry Skills resource, Meaningful Groups for Emerging Adults, was released, and I'm very excited about it. I'm excited because (1)I'm passionate about the life stage known as emerging adulthood and (2)there are very few resources for ministering to this life stage. This resource isn't simply looking at a new generation; it's looking at an entirely new life stage. And it will help you understand the needs and tasks of emerging adults and how small groups can minister to 18- to 30-year-olds.

Included in our resource is an interview with Wheaton College professor David Setran. He explains how this new life stage came about and how the life stage is defined. He also shares how people in this life stage are formed spiritually, and hones in on the need for mentoring:

SmallGroups.com: What helps to spiritually form emerging adults? I think mentoring in particular is critical for their spiritual formation. They need older adults who can serve as guides as they move from adolescence to adulthood in such a way that they feel excited about the prospect of becoming an adult. One of the things I have found in my research is that adulthood is something to be held at arm's length, to be resisted at all costs. A lot of emerging adults see adulthood as this time when all excitement is lost, all freedom is lost, and everything becomes routine and static. They desperately need mentors that demonstrate life doesn't end when you become an adult. They need to see lives that are well-lived for the kingdom, that demonstrate to them that this is the beginning of something really exciting.
Mentors for emerging adults need to realize they don't need to tell them what to do, what to think, and how to live. Emerging adults are trying to form their own voice, and mentors can nurture, develop, and encourage that voice. The mentor should be someone who's going to walk alongside them. And, to be honest, I have found that emerging adults are really seeking mentors. A lot of times older adults actually feel intimidated to take on a role like that because they feel outdated or don't feel they understand youth culture, but that's exactly what emerging adults need—to see what life on the other side looks like and how to live that life well.

That's a convicting call for adults in the church!
Exactly! With the fragmentation of the family and shifts in culture, a lot of emerging adults haven’t really seen that modeled for them. So it would be great to see that in the church, in all the different stages of life. It's an urgent call.

Emerging adults need to see that older adults are living lives well-lived for the kingdom. They need to know that adulthood doesn't mean they will just sit quietly in the pews, letting the younger people go on adventures with God. They need to see that God uses us all in radical ways throughout our lives. Are you living a compelling, well-lived life? What picture of adulthood are you painting for emerging adults?

To find out more about ministering to emerging adults through small groups, click here.

How does your church minister to emerging adults? What mentoring experiences have you had with emerging adults? Share with us below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:54 AM on June 11, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

June 5, 2012

Out of the Box

Rick Warren on holistic mission

by Amy Jackson

Rick Warren has moved away from the programmatic, church-in-a-box approach to missions. Instead, he tells people to "just go." He wants the church to embrace a holistic view of missions, and that takes spiritual renewal, humility, and putting away our wallets.

Leadership Journal recently talked to Warren about these changes. Read the interview here. And look for the SmallGroups.com digizine on August 7, which will help bring holistic missional living to your small group.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:48 AM on June 5, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

June 1, 2012

Granting "Refrigerator Rights" and So Much More

What I learned at my Memorial Day barbecue

by Amy Jackson

While several of our articles at SmallGroups.com explain that a measure of true friendship is granting “refrigerator rights,” this has been a hard lesson for me to learn. It’s not that I don’t understand—it makes sense that a good measure of comfort is the ability to open up someone else’s refrigerator looking for a drink—it’s just that it feels really strange. I have refrigerator rights at several of my friends’ homes. But when people are in my home, I worry that granting refrigerator rights only means I’m a lazy host—after all, why else would I make my friends get their own drinks?

I’ve wrestled with this idea for a while. When do I grant this right to my friends? How do I know they won’t be offended? And when is the right time to accept refrigerator rights from my friends?

This past weekend, though, I had a breakthrough. We hosted a barbecue with some of our closest friends. We were having a great time sitting outside, chatting about life, and laughing at ourselves. Then one of the women hopped up and asked if she could get some water. I startled myself with my response: “Of course! Glasses are above the dishwasher. There’s cold water in the fridge.” She ran inside and I sat, wondering how my response had come out so naturally. But I realized I was surrounded by close friends, people I share life with. So why shouldn’t that be my response?

After that interaction everyone felt comfortable getting their own drinks. And pretty soon people were helping me get out the sides and carrying the burgers to the table. The mood of the gathering relaxed, and we started sharing more deeply. Everyone felt more comfortable—not just because they had refrigerator rights, but because those rights signified that they had rights to our lives.

And while it may not seem super spiritual to allow others to open our refrigerators, it does signify something about our relationships. And I’ve decided to grant refrigerator rights to more of my friends. I’m excited to see what God does through this simple act of hospitality.

Who has refrigerator rights in your home? Do your group members make the list? Share with us below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 9:23 AM on June 1, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 25, 2012

Did You Know: Annual Digizines

Check out our free digital magazines!

by Amy Jackson

Depending on how long you’ve been visiting SmallGroups.com, you may not know about our free annual digizines—that is, digital magazines. Once a year we choose a topic, go in depth on it, and publish it on our site. It looks like a magazine, and you get to turn the pages like a magazine, but it’s completely online. In the past we’ve covered worship in small groups, inspiration for small-group leaders (because we can all use some encouragement from time to time!). We hope they’re great resources for small-group leaders or for small-group directors to use as part of small-group leader training.

This year’s digizine will focus on missional living, especially as part of a small group. You’ll hear from Alan Danielson, Scott Boren, Carter Moss, and Scott Nelson, a newcomer to SmallGroups.com. Plus, we’ll include great activities to get your group thinking more missionally and provide helpful product reviews. We want to help your group thinking differently—to understand that small groups aren’t just for ourselves, but for God’s redemptive purposes.

Look for our free summer digizine on August 7, and check out our archives here. Because they’re completely free to access, we hope you’ll enjoy them and pass them around to your friends.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:39 AM on May 25, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 22, 2012

Do You Read Our Award-Winning Newsletter?

Subscribe today for free!

by Amy Jackson

Did you know that SmallGroups.com sends out a weekly e-newsletter? The brief newsletter highlights our newest resources and keeps you up-to-date with the hot topics in small-group ministry. The best part? It's free!

Plus, you now have another reason to subscribe: it's an award-winning newsletter. Last week the Evangelical Press Association announced their 2012 winners, including an Award of Excellence for SmallGroups.com's newsletter. If you're not already subscribed, sign up today. For a sample, click here.

posted by Amy Jackson at 12:00 PM on May 22, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 18, 2012

Leaving Out a Crucial Component

We too often forget to include Jesus in our meetings

by Amy Jackson

Have you ever had a small-group meeting without Jesus? I know I've been guilty of it! It's far too easy to focus on the preparation, the discussion, and the overtalker and completely leave Jesus out of our meetings. Of course, small groups should bring us to the feet of Jesus, but it's too easy to check off our small-group meeting tasks and never actually experience God in our midst.

But it's important to keep our focus on God—not just because that's what we're supposed to do, but because it's the only way we'll experience true community. In our digizine Worship in Community, Bonnie McMaken shares why keeping Christ at the center is crucial to true fellowship. She writes the following in her article "A Theology of Small-Group Worship":

When small-group members worship together, they focus their attention first on God and his divine character made manifest in the person of Jesus Christ. Everything else the group does stems from this place of Christ-centeredness.
This upward focus on Jesus also brings a sense of transparency to the group, because coming face-to-face with the holiness of Christ means we see ourselves as we truly are: broken, sinful, and in need of grace.

This vulnerability is essential for building community. Our pretenses are stripped down and we come as we are—with our flaws, the messy week we've had, and the angry words we said to our spouses earlier that day. Sure, these evidences can be easily concealed from our group, but worship provides the space to open ourselves to God and to others.

Be warned, though—when we are honest before God and one another, it can be uncomfortable and humbling. Worshipping together allows the divine and the physical to intersect in powerful (and sometimes awkward) ways.

How do you keep Christ at the center of your meetings? In what ways do you invite group members to meet God in their midst? Share with us below.

To read her full article, click here.

posted by Amy Jackson at 3:25 PM on May 18, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 10, 2012

A True Picture of the Kingdom

What one woman learned when she was out of her comfort zone

by Amy Jackson

My guess is that if you're reading the SmallGroups.com blog, you probably already have a beautiful picture of what biblical community looks like. You probably try to help others get involved in community through small groups. You probably even have stories of how being in community has changed lives--maybe even your own.

But have you ever felt awkward in community? Or wished you could live in community with only people of your choosing--those that are like you, with few major issues, and do an equal amount of talking and listening? I'm not afraid to admit I've had those thoughts!

In a recent post on the Kyria Culture Blog, Amy Simpson shares how she had a major realization when she was out of her element--wearing different clothes and talking with a different accent from those around her. She was uncomfortable. But she also found something beautiful in the awkward situation. Read her post here.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on May 10, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 8, 2012

Too Focused on the Bible?

Why the study shouldn't be the main focus in small-group meetings

by Amy Jackson

A healthy small group focuses on building relationships that help us grow into Christlikeness. That's why getting to know one another, studying Scripture, and praying for one another are so important. But what happens when you have a group member who is too focused on the Bible study? It's good to want to learn more about God, but it's probably creating an imbalance in your group dynamics. What may be easy for you to see is probably a blindspot for your Bible-loving group member.

Allen White, a regular contributor to SmallGroups.com, recently wrote a blog post that offers five signs that a group member is too focused on the study--even that the study has become an idol in his or her life. Read it today.

What have you done to help group members focus on all aspects of group life, not just the study?

posted by Amy Jackson at 3:38 PM on May 8, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 4, 2012

True Listening Is Important

An excerpt from our newest resource

by Amy Jackson

This week we added a new resource to our long list of Training Tools: Helping Group Members Become Great Listeners. We've had another listening resource, Becoming a Great Listener, for many years, but small-group leaders kept asking, "How do I help my group members learn how to listen?"

Listening well is really difficult, and not many people are all that good at it. But group members need to learn to listen well if we're going to have healthy, transformational small groups. Helping group members with these skills requires leaders to model them well. Plus, leaders need to learn how to make the most of teachable moments and to confront those who are not listening well. But before all that, we need to convince group members that listening well actually matters.

In her article, "The Heart of Listening," Beatrice Rusu explains why listening is so important--not just in small groups, but in all relationships. Here's what she writes:

Listening is important in all relationships. In fact, you can't have a relationship if you do not listen to the other person. This is true of our relationship with God as well as our relationships with others.
Listening builds relationship in a variety of ways. It is foundational to any relationship because it communicates to the speaker that he or she has value and is worthy of your time and attention. Listening means slowing down to hear and process what the speaker is saying. As we listen to others, we also can identify things we hold in common. Our similarities can bring us together, but this requires the process of discovery through mutual sharing and listening. Listening also helps build trust in relationships. When you feel listened to and valued, you are more likely to open up more. When someone can be trusted to care about a small concern you have, you are more likely to share something significant with this person in the future.

We also know listening is important because the Bible tells us God listens. The Psalms tell of God listening to the cry of the afflicted (10:17, 22:24) and the prayer of the pure in heart (66:18–19). There are also many passages that tell us God listens to his people Israel (Numbers 21:3, Joshua 10:14).

Jesus exemplified the way God listens and cares for people in his interaction with the invalid at the pool of Bethesda in John 5. Paul E. Miller describes it like this, "When Jesus is with someone, that person is the only person in the room. Jesus slows down and concentrates on one person at a time. … This one-person focus is how love works. Love incarnates by slowing down and focusing on just the beloved. We don't love in general; we love one person at a time."

To read the rest of her article, and to gain lots of insight on helping your group members become great listeners, check out our downloadable resource. And to see a sample article, see Show Them How.

posted by Amy Jackson at 3:02 PM on May 4, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

May 3, 2012

What Are the Biggest Issues You're Facing in Small-Group Ministry?

We want to hear from you.

by Amy Jackson

At SmallGroups.com, we spend a lot of time creating great resources to help small-group directors, coaches, hosts, and leaders. From our inspiring and helpful articles to our super practical training tools, we hope to provide your small-group ministry with exactly the resources it needs.

So, we want to hear from you. What are the biggest issues you're facing in your small-group ministry? Do you have questions about training leaders? Wonder how to handle tough situations related to group dynamics? Curious about what you should study next?

Tell us below. We're all ears!

posted by Amy Jackson at 4:07 PM on May 3, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

April 27, 2012

Do You Own an e-Reader?

Get helpful resources from Christianity Today

by Amy Jackson

Ever since e-readers came out, I've stuck my nose up at them. I couldn't imagine reading something on a screen instead of holding soft paper pages, smelling the ink and mustiness of an old book, and placing a crazy amount of tiny flags on the pages with the best quotations.

For Christmas, though, I got a Kindle Touch, and everything has changed. While I still enjoy holding a paper book from time to time, there is nothing like having numerous books with you—in a light, easy-on-the-eyes device. I'm actually reading more now, and I'm reading a wider variety of things, too.

Do you own a Kindle or NOOK? If so, browse the selection of e-books from our sister ministries Christianity Today magazine, Kyria, and Christian Bible Studies. Currently we offer over 90 e-books from "How to Pick a President" to "Sabbath Rest in a World of Stress" to a Bible study on "Dealing with Sexual Temptation."

One of SmallGroup.com's most popular resources, Leading a Life-Changing Bible Study, is also available in e-book form. Check them out, and let us know what you think.

What other SmallGroups.com resources would you like to see in e-book format?

posted by Amy Jackson at 12:17 PM on April 27, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

April 25, 2012

Remembering Charles Colson

Celebrating a transformed life

by Amy Jackson

On Saturday, April 21, Charles Colson died at the age of 80. Evangelicals have lost an influential voice.

Ever heard or used the term “born again”? You owe it to Charles Colson. But in the 1970’s, he seemed an unlikely person to popularize the phrase. He gained fame as President Nixon’s advisor and through his involvement in Watergate. After his conversion, though, he became one of the best known American evangelical voices of all time.

Chuck Colson is a person worth knowing about—especially the story of his spiritual journey. Read his obituary from Christianity Today magazine and a tribute from the author of his biography.

Interested in learning from him? Be sure to use our study Charles Colson on Social Responsibility with your group.

posted by Amy Jackson at 9:10 AM on April 25, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

April 20, 2012

Restoring Harmony

What should you do when there's real conflict between group members?

by Amy Jackson

Our most recent digizine, Troubleshooting, includes a helpful article from Les Parrott on what to do when we learn two of our group members are at odds. If you're in small-group ministry long enough, you're bound to run into this scenario, and it's difficult to know how to walk with the group members through the situation. Les offers some great tips, including understanding why conflict occurs, deciding whether it's something that should be worked out during a group meeting or outside the group context, and rebuilding respect. He also tells group leaders to focus on forgiveness. Here's what he has to say:

When someone slights you, offends you, or deeply hurts you, the urge to respond in kind is natural: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. The problem with this urge is that we don't know when to step. If we lose an eye, we want more than an eye in return. We don't want to balance the scales; we want them tipped in our favor. And once we feel the compensation is satisfactory, the other person takes his turn at punishing us again. The cycle repeats itself over and over.
Forgiveness puts an end to all that. Our primal urge for "balancing the score" comes to a screeching halt when we set our pride aside and begin to forgive. It's for our own advantage, too. Because getting even takes its toll on the one seeking revenge. When Jesus tells us to "turn the other cheek" or "go the extra mile," he is not telling us to give our enemy some advantage over us. He is not telling us to be cowards. Cheek-turning is for your own protection. Once you free yourself from a desire to hurt back, you put an end to your vindictive spirit and save yourself from further harm.

But let's get real. How do we help this happen when two group members are at odds? How do we help them forgive? It begins by gently asking if either one is willing to set their pride aside and try their best to see the situation from the other person's perspective. If neither party is willing to take this crucial step, press the pause button. They need more time to cool down. The problems that plague relationships are rarely 100 percent one person's fault. In time, one of them is likely to set their foolish pride aside. And that's when an apology and genuine forgiveness can occur.

This is critical because, in truth, the proverbial scales can never be balanced. "Do not repay anyone evil for evil," says the apostle Paul, instead "live at peace." That's the result of forgiveness: peace. And it sets the tone for the next step in repairing the relationship.

When have you experienced true forgiveness? When have you helped group members forgive one another? Share with us below.

For the rest of the article, check it out in our Troubleshooting digizine.

posted by Amy Jackson at 9:16 AM on April 20, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

April 17, 2012

Leaving the Neat and Tidy Behind

Being a missional small group is messy

by Amy Jackson

My husband and I have greatly enjoyed being part of our current small group. We joined only five months ago, and already we've fallen in love with this group's missional mindset. The group members always have their eyes open for opportunities to bless others. It's been a growing experience for us. We've been stretched out of our comfort zones, and we're compelled to look for other opportunities to care and serve.

If there's one thing I've learned about being missional, though, it's that it's messy. It doesn't fall in neat boxes. It doesn’t stick to normal lines. It doesn't even have a clear cause and effect. Regardless, though, there's a definite sense that you're doing what God calls his followers to do—show the love of Jesus to others.

A few months ago, our group decided to throw a housewarming party for a woman who was recently homeless. Now in an apartment with a young son, she had nothing—no silverware, no plates, no pans. She didn't even know how to cook. We showed up at her apartment on a rainy night. More than 15 of us stood in her small living room, giving her our gifts, helping her put things away. One couple brought a slow cooker with several recipes, offering to show her how to prepare them. The woman was overwhelmed and quietly put the items away. We didn't know the right things to do or say, yet we stayed for over an hour just loving on her, laughing at jokes, sharing stories, and listening to music. We didn't know what our gifts would mean to the woman, but we tried to be Jesus' hands and feet . . . and that's all we could do.

More recently our group attended a baby shower for a refugee woman from Kenya. We were surprised by the differences in the culture—from how they celebrated to the music they listened to. As we worked our way through the buffet line, we didn't recognize any of the food. But we were lucky to try spicy gizzards, bananas and beans, and sweet bread. It was definitely out of our comfort zone: we were with people we didn't know, surrounded by cultural nuances we didn't understand. Yet it was beautiful to celebrate this baby with them. And we learned a lot that night about their culture. Now we can't wait to party with them again. They definitely taught us a thing or two about celebrating.

In five months, we've had more experiences like this than I've had in any other small group. And I think it's because this small group is doing something right—they're willing to be uncomfortable in order to reach people far from God, to better understand our Christian brothers and sisters from other backgrounds and cultures, and to provide for the least of these. I've wondered aloud to my husband why our past isn't filled with these kinds of experiences. But we know the answer—it's just too messy. How do you program something like this? How do you keep group members from getting frustrated when things are uncomfortable? How do you teach group members the value in simply being present with others? How do you help people understand that we should obey Jesus regardless of the outcome?

I'm reminded, though, of how often Jesus was willing to step out of the norm, including when he ate with Matthew's friends in Matthew 9. Why does ministry have to be neat and tidy? Life isn't. If we're going to meet people where they're at, we're going to have to leave the neat and tidy behind.

For more information on being a missional small group check out: Eliminating the Walls Between Insider and Outsider Activities, Resource Review: Missional Small Groups, and Instill the Vision in Your Small-Group Leaders.

posted by Amy Jackson at 11:39 AM on April 17, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

April 12, 2012

A Culture of Consumerism

Why our communication about small groups may be hurting us

by Amy Jackson

When I've heard pastors and church leaders talk, I get the feeling that we may have shot ourselves in the foot. That is, by communicating that small groups are all about meeting my needs for community, friendship, and spiritual growth, we've created a culture of consumerism. And when a group member doesn't feel his or her needs are being met, leaders hear about it.

But is the main goal of small groups to cater to the needs of group members—to provide a safe place where they can gain friends and have fun? Or is the purpose of small groups a bit deeper?

This video from difted.com explains that sharing what we've been given is our true purpose. It states that "pouring them out onto the world around us might leave us with more than we thought." Instead of trying to fill up my bucket more and more, it's about sharing what I've got with others. And I want to ask you: how can we emphasize this in the way we market small groups?

How do we emphasize that small groups are a place to serve and give of ourselves so that we all experience more abundant growth? Share with us below.

give fast pray from Difted on Vimeo.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:40 AM on April 12, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

April 10, 2012

Next Generation Needs

What will it take to reach a new generation?

by Amy Jackson

Did you know that the largest generation today is the Millennials—those born between 1980 and 2000? It's a hopeful generation that believes in helping people and accomplishing things for the greater good. It's a generation seeking roots of meaning and careers of purpose. It's a generation deciding what they want their lives to be about.

And only 25 percent attend church weekly. Almost two-thirds never attend. (So if you're thinking you haven't seen these hopeful, helpful people in your church, you're probably right.)

What will it take to reach this generation with the compelling mission of Christ? Sam S. Rainer III says it will take a new type of authority. Check out his intriguing article from our sister resource Leadership Journal.

Then let us know below: what can small groups do to reach Millennials?

posted by Amy Jackson at 1:44 PM on April 10, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

April 5, 2012

A Quick Health Assessment

A free tool from Michael Mack and TOUCH Publications

by Amy Jackson

I recently finished reading Small Group Vital Signs by Michael Mack. The author explains seven signs of a healthy small group: Christ-centered, healthy leader, shared leadership, proactive leadership, authentic community, ministry to others, and discipleship. He breaks down each area in its own chapter, giving a clear understanding of why the area is crucial to small-group health and offering great ideas for improving in the area.

Whether or not you've read the book, though, you can benefit by taking the free online assessment. This assessment asks 42 questions and creates a graph showing how your group is doing in each of the seven areas. In a matter of minutes you can have a clear idea of the areas in which your group is doing well, and which areas could use some improvement. Take the assessment today for your own group, or pass it along to your leaders.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on April 5, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

April 3, 2012

Gaining an Expanded Family

A displaced couple finds true friendship through a small group

by Amy Jackson

We have more ways to communicate than ever before, but how deep are our relationships? In our newest download, Physical Presence Matters, Seth Widner shares his own story about why physical presence--through small-group meetings--grew to mean so much to him.

After moving from Tennessee to Florida to plant a church, he and his wife were pretty homesick. They were able to stay in touch with friends and family, but they began to lean on their physically present small group. Here's what Seth writes:

About five months into our church plant, we decided to launch our small-group ministry. From our beginning, we planned to be a church of small groups. The time had come to gather potential leaders and start training. Although I had little experience in adult small groups, I believed the ministry would be a good one. As I trained future small-group leaders, I became more enthusiastic about the concept of small groups. My passion for helping people connect in small groups was growing.
Melissa and I agreed to lead a small group, too. We were looking forward to meeting new faces and making some new friendships. Our target would be young married couples without children. Honestly, it was for selfish reasons. We didn't have kids, and I didn't want screaming babies or diapers in our home. Thankfully, we found three couples to invite to our small group, and we decided to meet at a local restaurant for our first meeting.

That first evening was a breath of fresh air. The only thing on the agenda was to enjoy good food and conversations. We had some great talks. We learned that most of the small-group members had moved from other states. So we shared about our old homes, what brought us to Florida, and how the transition was going. It was such a relief to be able to talk to people who felt homesick from time to time! These couples understood what Melissa and I were going through.

Since that first meeting, our small group has been doing life together. We gather regularly for food, fun, fellowship, Bible study, and prayer. No matter what kind of day I'm having, I know that my small group will be there for me. We have laughed, cried, and prayed together. We have discussed God's Word and voiced our questions about life. We have each experienced spiritual growth. And I finally got over my fear of diapers! At this point, most of us have become parents.

Over the years, I've found an interesting connection between my small group and homesickness. As my small-group friendships have grown, my homesickness has diminished. I still miss my family and friends in Tennessee, and I still communicate through technology. From time to time I will enjoy a phone call, send a quick text message, or touch base through Facebook. But my intense homesickness has gone away. Melissa and I have transitioned into our new home in Fernandina Beach.

To read the rest of his article, and to read more on why physical presence matters, check out our newest download.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on April 3, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 29, 2012

Know Thyself

Is knowing self important to our faith journey?

by Amy Jackson

I recently came across this quotation from Honest Christianity, and it got me thinking. He states that an important factor in our faith journey is getting to know ourselves—which may not be what we normally think of. We think about growing closer to God, becoming more servant-minded, and building relationships with others. But what if all those things depend on getting to know ourselves first?

"Prideful creatures that we are, it is hard for us to acknowledge what we do not like or respect, or what we sense others will disparage. It is so much easier, so more convenient, at least in the moment, to deny the existence of the distasteful. God, however, is truthful, and to truthfulness he calls us. He wants us to know ourselves, so that in the process, we can grasp just how much he loves us. We need not fear what is inside us, however heinous, however awful, however base. God already knows all about it, and he loves us anyway—which is, in fact, the good news of Jesus Christ . . . Our life with God will thrive only to the extent that we purpose in our hearts, sincerely and relentlessly, to reckon with truth—about him, about others, about ourselves." --Clinton W. McLemore in Honest Christianity

Do you agree with McLemore? How important is knowing self to our faith journey? When have you seen proof of this?

If it's important, how much time should we spend on getting to know ourselves? How do we balance it with getting to know God and others? And how do we help our small-group members with this?

Share your thoughts and experiences with us below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on March 29, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

March 28, 2012

The Openly Shallow Small Group

Looking for a comfortable small group with no expectations?

by Amy Jackson

Is small group a bit too deep for you? Are you looking for a place to simply get some good food and time to discuss the game? Do you hate awkward silences? Here's the perfect small group for you: the openly shallow small group!

Check out this video from RightNowTraining.org. Because everyone needs a good chuckle on a Wednesday.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:08 AM on March 28, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

March 27, 2012

Finding God in 'The Hunger Games'

Use the popular movie to spark discussion in your group

by Amy Jackson

It seems like everyone is talking about The Hunger Games! And for good reason. The trilogy is hard to put down, and it brings up important themes. Here at Christianity Today, we read the books and anxiously awaited the movie's arrival, and we've spent a lot of time discussing it ever since.

Looking for great resources on The Hunger Games? Christianity Today has you covered.

Amy Simpson, editor of Gifted for Leadership, shares how she sees Jesus in The Hunger Games in this article. Spoiler alert! Her article shares a lot about the book series.

The Her.meneutics blog posted on why we need dystopian tales.

Plus, a movie review by Todd Hertz.

Consider using the movie to generate great conversation in your small group. Take a trip together to see the movie. Then use this study guide for great questions and discussion.

What's your take on The Hunger Games? Do you have other ideas on using it in small groups? Share with us below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 2:55 PM on March 27, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 20, 2012

Improving Communication

Spence Shelton explains why clarity is critical.

by Amy Jackson

Effective communication is essential to healthy small-group ministry. And it can be one of the most difficult tasks for small-group ministry leaders. You need to get your senior pastor and other church leaders on board, communicate your vision and purpose to small-group leaders, and communicate the value of small groups to church members. It's a huge responsibility!

In our most recent resource, Improving Communication for Effective Small-Group Ministry, Spence Shelton explains that clarity is critical, especially when you're trying to explain the value of small-group ministry. Here's an excerpt from his article "Get Your Church Leadership On Board."

I've found it easier to get key leaders on board when I am able to communicate the concept of small-group ministry in very clear language. As point people, it is our job to do all of the research, read all of the books, and work through all of the revisions of philosophy and strategy. You should spend time doing that hard work. In fact, this will make you a better leader as well as reinforce the power of your communication to those you want to get on board.
We must then distill our philosophy and strategy into clear language that can be mentally digested in one conversation. This may be hard work, but the payoff is significant. Here are a few of questions you should be able to answer in one short thought, questions that church leaders will ask you.

What is a small group?

Why do we need small groups?

What is your plan for small groups?

What is the first step you need me to take?

Can you answer each of those in a sentence or two? Do your answers get you excited about small groups? If your answers seem long or uninteresting to you, they will definitely feel that way to other church leaders. Try practicing your answers on some friends who will shoot straight about your communication. Do not underestimate the power of clear, compelling communication.

How well are you able to communicate about your small-group ministry? Can you answer these questions in a clear, concise, and compelling way?

To continue reading this article, check out Improving Communication for Effective Small-Group Ministry. And for a sample from this resource, see Instill the Vision in Your Small-Group Leaders.

posted by Amy Jackson at 1:38 PM on March 20, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 15, 2012

Growing Indifference Toward Faith

What should small groups do in the midst of this growing trend?

by Amy Jackson

Our sister resource Out of Ur recently highlighted this short video of David Palau interviewing David Kinnaman of the Barna Group. Kinnaman shares that more and more the unchurched are simply indifferent to the church, and it's a trend we'll see continue to grow over the next 10 years.

This poses big questions for the church: how do we reach a world who doesn't care about us or our message?

My question to you: what can small groups do in the face of this cultural shift to continue to introduce people to the love of Christ? Watch the video and share your thoughts with us below.

Out of Ur is a blog of Leadership Journal that covers important news and challenges impacting the church.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:20 AM on March 15, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 13, 2012

Sam O'Neal Tells Us to "Keep Calm and Carry On"

Why this slogan is perfect for today's small-group leaders

by Amy Jackson

Have you ever seen the signs that say "Keep Calm and Carry On"? Sam O'Neal thinks it's a great slogan for small-group leaders. There are plenty of times when we find ourselves in the middle of a meeting that's not going as planned, or leading a discussion that's so far off topic there's no hope of pulling it back. Sometimes we experience more serious things like a fall-out between group members or a confession from a group member that rocks the group.

Whatever you're facing as a small-group leader, Sam offers that simple slogan to you: "Keep Calm and Carry On." View his blog post to learn about the history of the slogan and why it's so fitting for small-group leaders today.

And for those of you curious about what Sam's been up to since leaving SmallGroups.com, be sure to check out his book: The Field Guide for Small Group Leaders, coming out in May.

Picture Credit: Derek Keats on Flickr

posted by Amy Jackson at 4:02 PM on March 13, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 7, 2012

Keeping Leaders Connected to Your Church's Vision

Seth Widner explains the benefits of coaching.

by Amy Jackson

At SmallGroups.com, we believe coaches are valuable to small-group ministry. So we provide lots of articles and training resources specifically for coaches including Giving Leaders Feedback, Ministering to Struggling Small-Group Leaders, The Five Stages of Coaching Relationships, and the Small-Group Coach Orientation Guide.

Seth Widner feels coaches are important, too. In our newest resource Staying Connected to Your Church, Seth lays out seven benefits of coaching. Among them you'll find many of the usual benefits such as accountability, support, and ongoing training. But there's one you might not immediately think of: connection to your church's vision. I often hear the complaint from small-group staff that they have "rogue" groups—groups that have diverted from the church's vision for small groups. Other times I hear about the trouble of keeping small-group leaders informed of updates to the church's vision and strategy. Here's what Seth has to say about it.

If small-group leaders are left alone in leadership, our groups can become islands, disconnected from the church. This is a dangerous place to be. When small groups are functioning as islands, they are one storm away from sinking. Small-group leaders need to be reminded that they are part of something larger than their groups. Small groups are active members of your church's larger cause. As leaders are reminded of the church's specific vision, they are given a GPS-like map for everything they do in small groups. Coaching provides a way to keep small-group leaders connected with one another and to the church's DNA and vision.

To read the rest of Seth's article, check out Staying Connected to Your Church.

And share with us below: what benefits of coaching have you experienced?

posted by Amy Jackson at 12:49 PM on March 7, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 2, 2012

A Resource to Avoid Awkward Moments

Dig deeper into the Word with Keri Wyatt Kent

by Amy Jackson

Have you ever had one of those moments while discussing Scripture when a group member looked to you and asked, "What does that mean?" Ever felt that pang of panic when you didn't immediately know the answer? Maybe it was as you discussed Matthew 11:28–30 and someone asked what a yoke was or how it could be easy. Maybe it was as you used the terms justice, mercy, and grace in conversation, and someone asked how they were different.

Thanks to Keri Wyatt Kent you may run into fewer of these awkward moments. Kent, author of nine books including Oxygen, Simple Compassion, and Listen, provides two great resources: Deeper into the Word: Old Testament and Deeper into the Word: New Testament. These books each provide 100 reflections on common words in the Bible, providing insight into the original language and the historical context.

So, for instance, if that question about the yoke comes up, you could flip to the entry on yoke, which fleshes out four things the terminology would have sparked in the original hearers' minds. Or, to learn the difference between justice, mercy, and grace, you could flip to any one of those words to see that "justice is getting what you deserve, mercy is not getting what you deserve, [and] grace is getting what you don't deserve." And with 100 word entries in each book, you'll have plenty to learn and look up.

The books are extremely user-friendly. Each entry is about two pages and fleshes out the word in common language and modern-day examples. As you read, you'll learn about the Greek or Hebrew roots and read Scripture passages where the word appears. Use these books during your small-group Bible study to look up words you come across, or use each entry as a devotional to begin your meeting. You could even use the reflections to put together a brief word study that complements your study. With so many ways to use these resources, check them out today and see how they may help your small group go deeper into the Word.

For a sample from these books, check out Why "One Another" Is Important to Understand, which excerpts her entry on "one another" from the New Testament book. Learn more about Keri by visiting her website.

posted by Amy Jackson at 7:57 AM on March 2, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

February 29, 2012

What Would You Tell Your Small-Group Members?

Talking about suffering in small group

by Amy Jackson

I hope you're ready for some discussion because I've got a big question for you.

It never ceases to amaze me how deeply people are hurting, specifically as I listen to prayer requests during small-group meetings. It's enough to make your heart break. And if you aren't currently hurting, chances are that someone close to you is. Suffering is simply part of our earthly existence.

So what do you say when a group member turns to you and asks what place suffering has in God's compassionate will? Not why suffering exists . . . but what God might be doing in and through it. How would you respond in a way that is true to the Word and recognizes this group member's deep suffering?

Share your responses with us below. Let's see if we can come up with a helpful answer together.

posted by Amy Jackson at 11:13 AM on February 29, 2012 | Comments (4) | Trackbacks (0)

February 28, 2012

John Ortberg Encourages Small-Group Leaders

And lets us know all the effort is worth it.

by Amy Jackson

As February ends, we've got a bit of cabin fever here at the offices of Christianity Today. We're a little antsy, our attention spans are growing shorter, and we need something to keep us going. So I figured you might, too.

In our Fall 2010 digizine, SmallGroups.com interviews John Ortberg in an article called "No, You're Not Crazy!" Ortberg shares his wisdom with small-group leaders, inspiring us to keep on.

SG.com: How do you feel that small groups as a whole have impacted the kingdom of God? What have they brought to churches, and to the Church?
Ortberg: I think it was Robert Wuthnow who said that the small-group movement is the biggest social revolution in America. In an era where people have become increasingly mobile, uprooted, and disconnected from family structures, I think small groups have become a huge vehicle for people to experience relationship, intimacy, and community. And in a lot of cases that comes to people who might not have it otherwise.

SG.com: If you had a chance to encourage a group of small-group leaders, what would you say?

Ortberg: I would say: "It's worth it." When I was at Willow Creek Community Church back in Chicago, a common message we delivered to people in ministry was, "You're not crazy." In those times when you think: Man, this is really hard. Nobody was talking tonight, or I've got a really difficult person in this group, or I'm feeling like I don't know how to lead a discussion—you never know when God is going to use a moment, a session, or a connection with somebody else. You never know when a person is going to show up with a broken heart, and God's going to choose you and your group to be a vessel of grace. You don't carry the outcome on your shoulders. But when you show up and offer a devoted spirit—it's worth it.

What do you do when you're feeling discouraged? What quotations, Scripture, or reminders motivate you to keep on? Share with us below.

Be sure to check out all our past digizines, and look out for a new one coming this July.

posted by Amy Jackson at 2:21 PM on February 28, 2012 | Comments (4) | Trackbacks (0)

Last Chance!

Less than 48 hours to take advantage of our sale!

by Amy Jackson

Have you taken advantage of our sale? If not, you better hurry. We're changing the prices back on March 1! Receive 25% off our ten most popular resources of 2011. From our always popular Small-Group Leader Orientation Guide to a study on using your spiritual gifts to studies from John Ortberg, Tim Keller, and N.T. Wright, there are lots of resources to take a look at. Buy them now and use them throughout the year to grow and strengthen your ministry.

posted by Amy Jackson at 1:17 PM on February 28, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

February 21, 2012

Recognizing a Blind Spot in Church Culture

Learning from the introverts among us

by Amy Jackson

While it's been difficult for me to admit for most of my life, I've finally become comfortable saying that I'm an introvert. For those who know me well, it's really not surprising—after all, I primarily spend my working hours alone in an office typing on a computer, reading books, and manipulating words.

It's taken me a while to realize that being an introvert doesn't mean I don't like people. And it doesn't mean I'm super nerdy (although, I am a little nerdy). It means that I'm highly sensitive, easily over stimulated, and better at working alone—at my own pace with few distractions. On the positive side, introverts tend to have rich inner lives, are able to concentrate for long periods, and have fewer but deeper relationships (in fact, many introverts struggle with relationships that consist only of small talk).

Recently, I started reading a book on introversion: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. She explains that one-third to one-half of people are introverts, yet American society greatly favors extroverts. She gives a history lesson of how that came to be, and talks about her visits to places in the U.S. that exemplify this fact.

Would you be surprised to know that one of the places she visited was Saddleback Church? She explains that evangelical Christianity highly favors extroverts: we want funny, engaging teachers that move around the stage, lots of time to casually fellowship and mingle with one another, and elaborate, highly sensory worship settings. We expect true followers to be involved with many groups, and to attend all the group activities offered (like retreats, women's and men's events, and family events). We expect true followers to express their faith publicly and vocally.

Now think about the types of people we desire in our small groups: people who share often, easily mingle during fellowship time, and strike up conversation with newcomers. And these are good things. We see these as signs that someone is actively engaged—both with the group and in their relationship with Christ.

But what might an actively engaged introverted group member look like? Have you experienced that group member who listens intently for the majority of the meeting, but shares a nugget of truth that blows the group away? Have you noticed those group members who seek out the newcomers by quietly welcoming them and getting to know them one-on-one? Are you aware of the person in your group who quietly yet actively listens to other members, encouraging them by leaning forward, nodding, and smiling?

While we like to see people living out their faith in highly visible ways, consider this: there is a lot of activity happening in the introvert's mind and heart, activity that is important yet often overlooked. And this way of life isn't against the grain of Christianity. In fact, Scripture tells us to meditate on the Word. We have countless examples of historic Christians engaging the contemplative life. Even the modern theologians we look up to must spend countless hours alone with God and his Word. So maybe introverts have something to offer our extroverted culture—the reminder to slow down, to reflect, to "chew on" God's Word, to go below the surface.

How can you encourage and empower your introverted group members? How can you change your perspective of what an actively engaged group member looks like?

What about you? Are you an introverted group leader? Check out our Leading as an Introvert resource.

posted by Amy Jackson at 1:18 PM on February 21, 2012 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

February 16, 2012

What Our Actions Say about Our Theology

Ben Reed shares what he learned while looking for aluminum pans

by Amy Jackson

Let's face it—most leaders are really busy people. We are not only small-group leaders, but also parents, sisters, brothers, friends, teachers, construction workers, pastors, butchers, bakers, and candlestick makers (okay, maybe not that last one). All that to say, leading our weekly small group is usually not the only thing we have going on. And sometimes we get caught up in the busy-ness and forget about the mission: people.

When I worked on a church staff, I heard more than a few pastors tell me that ministry would be super easy if it weren't for the people (I admit I agreed some days!). But think about it. If it weren't for the people, there wouldn't be ministry.

Ben Reed, a writer for SmallGroups.com, recently wrote on his blog that the way we treat people actually reveals our theology. Makes you wonder what your actions are revealing, doesn't it? Read his post, and let us know what you think below.

What have your actions been revealing about your theology? And how do you want to change?

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on February 16, 2012 | Comments (3) | Trackbacks (0)

February 13, 2012

The Discipline of Staying Put

Going against the cultural current of mobility

by Amy Jackson

Have you heard about This Is Our City? The newest Christianity Today publication focuses on telling stories of those glorifying God by serving in their cities. With articles, videos, and more, they offer tons of inspiring stories of Christ-followers serving in the name of Christ.

Last week they posted an article on staying put—that is, choosing to remain in a community instead of moving frequently. In our culture of mobility, it's rare to hear of people staying in one place for long. But what is the cost of all that moving? Specifically, what's the cost to community?

Check out the full article, and visit This Is Our City to see all the inspiring stories. Then let us know what you think below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 3:28 PM on February 13, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

February 9, 2012

Being a Spiritual Safari Guide

The two principles small-group leaders should live by.

by Amy Jackson

In our newest Training Theme resource, Empowering Group Members, Sam O'Neal explains what small-group leaders are and aren't. He states that a small-group leader is not primarily a host, a teacher, a facilitator, or just another member. Instead, there are two principles that all small-group leaders must hold dear. Check out what he says below:

So, what is the primary focus that small-group leaders should adopt? The answer is that of a spiritual safari guide. That will need some explaining, I know, but first give some thought to the following two principles of small-group leadership:
Principle 1: Small-group leaders are to be most concerned about the spiritual transformation of their group members. Everything else involved with leading a small group—recruiting new members, choosing Bible studies, resolving conflict—are secondary issues and should be subordinate to the spiritual growth of the people involved. If people gather together to enjoy each other's company, eat good food, sing songs, maybe do a service project, but don't grow closer to Jesus Christ as a result, they have only created a Christianized version of a Kiwanis Club. Not a small group.

Principle 2: Small-group leaders are never able to manufacture spiritual transformation within their group members. This is something that small-group leaders must understand. We cannot force our group members to grow spiritually any more than we could force them to grow taller. No matter how good we become at facilitating discussion questions, resolving conflict, and making nachos, our people will not become more like Jesus unless they are carried there by the Holy Spirit.

These two principles seem contradictory, at first. If small-group leaders are primarily tasked with a job that only the Holy Spirit can fulfill, how can they lead well? The answer is relatively simple: group leaders need to create environments and experiences that allow group members to connect with the Holy Spirit.

And that's what I mean when I talk about small-group leaders as spiritual safari guides.

Can you imagine a safari where the guide spent all of your time talking about flora and fauna instead of actually taking you into the jungle? Or encouraged the tour members to discuss what they felt a rhinoceros might look and sound like, rather than leading everyone to an actual specimen? Or took off his binoculars and said, "Don't ask me where to go; I'm as lost as the rest of you." Such is the folly of a small-group leader who does not lead—who does not bring his or her group members into the presence of the Holy Spirit by directing expeditions into the mysteries of God's Word, the elements of Truth in this world, and the life stories of other people.

What do you think? Share your thoughts with us below. And for practical ideas on empowering your small-group members to take their next spiritual steps, check out Empowering Group Members.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on February 9, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

February 7, 2012

Should Small-Group Leaders Be Considered Pastors?

Let's get some discussion started!

by Amy Jackson

I've been learning a lot about the history of pastoral care lately. The idea was to walk with another person into their pain and suffering, praying, asking questions, and helping make sense of next steps. While some churches still have pastors dedicated to this important ministry, I have a feeling that this ministry is happening more in small groups than anywhere else. Small-group leaders are the ones to learn about members' struggles, pains, and hardships, and many times they are the ones that comfort, guide, and encourage along the way. This compassionate care brings to mind the image of shepherd in the Bible, the very word that is at the root of "pastor."

So, should small-group leaders be thought of as pastors? Should they be identified as called-out shepherds of God's flock—even if the flock is only 6-12 people?

What are your thoughts? We'd love to hear them. Share with us below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:25 AM on February 7, 2012 | Comments (8) | Trackbacks (0)

February 2, 2012

Reclaiming the Concept of Biblical Vocation

Rob Bell's thoughts on vocation

by Amy Jackson

I've been reading Os Guinness' The Call recently, and the idea of vocation continues to pop up in my life. Exhibit A: Skye Jethani's recent interview with Rob Bell. Skye Jethani is senior editor of Leadership Journal, Out of Ur, and Catalyst Leadership, and he blogs at SKYEBOX.

When Jethani asks about vocation, Bell states:

The Bible begins in Genesis 1 not with sin but with blessing, not with toil and despair but with life, and creativity, and vibrant participation with God in the ongoing creation of the world–which involves art, and law, and medicine, and education, and parenting, and justice, and learning, and thousands of other pursuits; callings that are holy and sacred in and of themselves. It’s all part of flourishing in God’s good world, which is our home. Here, on earth, is where the story begins and where it ends, and so our work here, in whatever way we co-create with God, is our vocation. . . . What do you love to do that brings more and more heaven into God’s good world? What is it that makes your soul soar? What is it that you do, that your friends and community affirm, that taps you in to who you are made to be?

I believe vocation is an incredibly important concept for small-group leaders to understand. If we are to build up holistic disciples that live their whole, multi-faceted lives for Christ, we must empower our group members to discover and live out their unique vocations—not our careers necessarily, but that thing that we feel compelled to do in life, the thing we must do.

What are your thoughts on recovering the idea of vocation? How can we empower small-group members to discover their vocations?

posted by Amy Jackson at 11:39 AM on February 2, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 31, 2012

How Do You Train Your Small-Group Leaders?

National Community Church has taken its training online.

by Amy Jackson

Heather Zempel from National Community Church in Washington, D.C., and writer for SmallGroups.com, recently blogged about NCC's new way of training small-group leaders.

In her blog post, she shares that they have started doing online training so that leaders can train at their own pace in their own timing. When finished, their answers to the questions in the training are sent to the staff at NCC and a face-to-face interview is scheduled. So far, they're very happy with the results.

Read the blog post to get the full picture, and check out this training module on choosing a study, part of their online training.

Then let us know: how do you train your small-group leaders? Are you happy with your results or do you wish it were going better?

12 What Do We Study? from National Community Church on Vimeo.

posted by Amy Jackson at 11:56 AM on January 31, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 26, 2012

Are There Really EGR Group Members?

Sam O'Neal shares why he changed his mind

by Amy Jackson

In our most recent digizine, Troubleshooting, Sam O'Neal wrote an article on his new view of EGR group members. In "The Blessing of Problem People," Sam shares how he's changed his mind on this popular acronym. Check out what he says below.

Everybody loves acronyms—from TGIF to LOL to BLT and beyond. In the world of small-group ministry, the most common acronym I've come across has to be EGR. As in "extra grace required."
The idea is that most people within a small group are "normal" and able to function well within the life of the group. But then there are other people—EGR people—who behave abnormally, and are even potentially dangerous to the community. Therefore the group can only function well if the normal folks use a little extra grace in order to tolerate the "problem people."

I used to be on board with that kind of thinking. I used to laugh whenever I heard someone say, "Every small group has an EGR person—and if you can't figure out who that person is in your group, it's probably you!" Har har.

But I have repented of that notion in recent years because of an important realization: every small group in the world is made up entirely of imperfect human beings. We are all sinful. We are all emotional. We are all unpredictable and perplexing and just a bit unstable.

In other words, we are all "problem people." We all require enormous amounts of grace.

So what do you think? Should we get rid of the term, or does it hold some value?

To read the rest of the article, click here.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on January 26, 2012 | Comments (4) | Trackbacks (0)

January 25, 2012

Exploring the Command to Carry One Another's Burdens

Using questions to minister

by Amy Jackson

During a graduate class I’m taking, my professor held a discussion around Galatians 6:1–2. He asked the class what Paul meant by saying we "fulfill the law of Christ" when we carry others' burdens. Further, he asked us if we considered carrying others' burdens central to the Gospel or more of a peripheral duty.

His questions got me thinking. What does it mean if a central part of kingdom living is carrying others' burdens? What does it say about evangelical Christianity's emphasis on personal prayer and Bible study? And what about corporate worship? How often do we attend in order to hear from God or experience him for ourselves instead of connecting with others there?

Carrying others' burdens was central to the early church. We read in Acts 2 that early Christians "had everything in common" and provided for one another so no one would be in need. Paul also wrote often about not being a burden unnecessarily (see 2 Corinthians 12:14, 1 Thessalonians 2:9, and Hebrews 13:17). And he had plenty to say about bearing with one another by putting on compassion and patience (Colossians 3:12–13, Ephesians 4:2).

We also have God's example in carrying other's burdens—namely, our own. Psalm 68:19 says, "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." And in Matthew 11 and Galatians 5, Christ is painted as the one who frees us from heavy burdens.

So, it appears that carrying others' burdens truly is central to following Christ. But what does that look like? And how can small groups help fulfill this?

Last week I sat in a coffee shop near my home reading, when a man who seemed fresh out of high school asked to sit at the table with me. I was surprised by his request, and a bit irritated as I wanted to sit by myself silently enjoying some coffee and a book. A couple of times he tried awkwardly to start a conversation as I read my book. I gave him quick answers before returning to my reading.

Then I realized this was an opportunity, to get to know this person who is created in the image of God. So I tried awkwardly to start a conversation. I asked him questions about his day, his job, and his drink. It turns out, he was lonely. He wanted some human contact. He just wanted to have a normal human conversation with someone. And for whatever reason, I seemed safe. We talked for nearly an hour that day about aquariums and schools and movies, and I realized in my heart what I'd known in my head for a long time: questions can minister to others. They can show that we care, that we see them as real, living, breathing humans who deserve love and respect, and who have something to offer the world.

So, my first thought on carrying others' burdens is this: perhaps a great place to start is simply to be with the person, asking questions, getting to know them as another human being, helping to carry their loneliness, fear, or doubt.

What do you think? Can questions in themselves minister? How have questions ministered to you? How have you ministered to others by asking questions? Share with us below.

Check back over the next few months as I continue to flesh out the idea of carrying others' burdens.

posted by Amy Jackson at 11:09 AM on January 25, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

January 19, 2012

Guess Who's Coming to Small Group?

Imagine what might happen if Jacob and Rachel showed up to your group

by Amy Jackson

You're getting ready for your couples' small group, and you're excited: you have a new couple joining you tonight. In his e-mail, Jacob was very happy to have found a group that both he and his wife could attend. They're a new couple to the church, and you're excited that they've decided to get plugged in.

When Jacob and his wife, Rachel, arrive, you can tell there's something a little off. Rachel seems very uncomfortable, and she quietly says hello only when others initiate conversation. Nevertheless, you decide to proceed with group as usual so they can get an accurate taste of what happens at each meeting.

You start the group with check-in time, where couples share a high moment and a low or learning moment from the week. As the couples share, you can't help but notice Jacob and Rachel whispering and getting into a bit of an argument. When it's their turn to share, you find out why.

"Well, the high moment," Jacob starts," was our anniversary dinner at a lovely Italian restaurant this weekend. We're celebrating nine years together."

"I was able to get chicken limone—my favorite," Rachel chimes in with a slight smile.

"The low moment, though," Jacob continues," is up for debate. I believe it was when Rachel's father, Laban, called repeatedly asking me to help out with some projects around the house. He calls all the time and demands I do free work for him—even though I told him I couldn't help him anymore after we finished the patio last summer."

Rachel looks irritated. "And I believe the low point was when Jacob left the dinner dishes in the sink all night. They were really difficult to clean the next day. I mean, who cares if my dad wants your help? He's my father after all."

One of the women in the group gently asks, "Have these requests for help been a pattern in your married life?"

"Oh, long before we were ever married. He has always wanted me to do his work for him. And even when he says he'll compensate me, he never gives me exactly what he promised. I've been working for years for Laban, and I'm beginning to think he's taking advantage of me."

How would you respond to Jacob and Rachel?

Who knew one of the Bible's greatest couples would have so much in-law drama to share at small group? Find their full story in Genesis, beginning in chapter 25.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on January 19, 2012 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

January 17, 2012

Creating a Trustworthy Group

Mark Ingmire points out ten factors

by Amy Jackson

Mark Ingmire recently wrote an article called "Evaluating Trust in Your Group" for our training resource Are We Building Trust? Mark points out ten key factors that indicate a trustworthy group including authenticity, confidentiality, and listening. Two other factors, though, particularly caught my eye. Mark points to confession—sharing our shortcomings and a desire to change—and serving others in the group as key indicators of trustworthy groups.

We often think that confession in small groups only applies to the strongest, most trusting groups. However, any group that has an appropriate amount of trust should be a safe place that invites members to share their shortcomings. Even if members don't share with the whole group, sharing with even just one other member is a sign that trust is present.

Serving one another, on the other hand, may not seem like such a big issue. Some might believe the group should be focusing on serving others rather than themselves. But Mark has a good point: "The age old adage is still true, 'People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.'" Serving group members can show them just how much you care. And that can go a long way in building trust.

Here's one of the evaluations Mark created. Be sure to check out Are We Building Trust? to read the full article and learn what your score means. You'll also get seven other assessments to evaluate the level of trust in your group.

Group Evaluation of Trust
For each category, circle the number that best describes your small group in most situations. Values for 1 and 5 are indicated below.

1.Accountability

1 2 3 4 5
1=No one expects anything from me
5=Our group could be titled “Great Expectations”

2.Authenticity

1 2 3 4 5
1=It’s like being at a Masquerade
5=Group members reveal their real selves

3.Closeness

1 2 3 4 5
1=Our group is like a room full of strangers
5=Our group feels like we are peas in a pod

4.Confession

1 2 3 4 5
1=“Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen” 5=No secrets here

5.Confidentiality

1 2 3 4 5
1=Loose lips prevail
5=Lips are sealed

6.Listening

1 2 3 4 5
1=I might as well be talking to the wall
5=My group understands me

7.Participation

1 2 3 4 5
1=I feel invisible
5=I feel like part of the team

8.Serving

1 2 3 4 5
1=It’s every man and woman for him/herself!
5=We’re constantly serving others

9.Sharing

1 2 3 4 5
1=It feels like our group has been given a gag order
5=It feels like a family reunion every week

10.Support

1 2 3 4 5
1=I might as well be aboard the Titanic 5=My group is my lifeboat

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:26 AM on January 17, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 12, 2012

Resource Review: 'The God Questions'

A forty-day journey exploring big questions about God and faith

by Amy Jackson

Imagine a book that answers big theological questions in easy-to-understand terms while still giving satisfying answers—questions like these: Is God real? Do all roads lead to heaven? and How can a good God allow suffering? Sounds too good to be true, doesn’t it?

But when a co-worker recently gave me The God Questions by Hal Seed and Dan Grider, I was pleasantly surprised. It consists of 40 daily readings and six small-group sessions. The idea is to do the study over six weeks. Each week has a theme question and each day discusses subsequent questions. And they really are big questions: Is God real? Is the Bible true? Do all roads lead to heaven? Each daily reading discusses a major question in about three pages and includes a fourth page that allows the reader to respond, including a main idea to chew on, a verse to remember, a point to ponder, and space to reflect on personal feelings about the question.

My initial thought after seeing the questions is that the authors would inevitably make one of two mistakes. They’d either explain these huge questions in theological terms that no normal person knows, or talk in terms so simple and fluffy that they don’t actually answer the questions. Luckily, this book does neither. While safe for seekers (it uses accessible language and explains things concisely), this book makes clear its position: God is real, can be trusted, and desires a relationship with each of us. The authors use easy-to-understand language and simple—but not simplistic—intellectual arguments that don’t require a degree in theology (or physics, for that matter) and provide satisfying answers to real questions.

While we might believe these questions are those of only non-believers, these questions also surface in the lives of many Christians. One week’s question struck me in particular: If Christianity is true, why is the church full of hypocrites? Even more practical, one week discusses discovering our purpose and another discusses how we can change our behaviors.

Additionally, we can get a lot to support our faith from the book. One daily reading discusses the books of the Bible, categorizing them, and explaining how we got the Bible we read today. Another week discusses what Muslims believe, including a brief history of the religion, its view of God and the afterlife, its main teachings, and a description of Qu'ran. (There are similar sections on Hinduism, Buddhism, and Christianity as well.)

At the back of the book, you’ll find a six-session small-group plan. It includes icebreaker questions that go along with the week’s questions, Bible readings, seven discussion questions, and a challenge for the week. The discussion questions include both knowledge-based questions to go along with the daily readings and questions that get to the heart and help readers apply what they’re learning. I think the questions would be beneficial in any adult small group, and could easily be adapted to fit the group's needs.

In the introduction, the authors state that knowledge can give us confidence in God, ourselves, and our faith. And I believe that confidence can help us submit to God, trusting him to rule our lives and guide our steps. Consider The God Questions for your next small-group study.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on January 12, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 9, 2012

Leading a Group of Parents?

Check out the nine-month parenting study from ChristianBibleStudies.com

by Amy Jackson

Our sister ministry ChristianBibleStudies.com just released a new nine-month parenting study. The study includes 38 sessions to do with your small group and covers topics like boundaries, materialism, types of schooling, teens and sex, fights, and more. If you lead a small group of parents, this could be the perfect study for you. And you won't have to pick out another study until the fall!

Plus, right now get more than half off and pay only $99.95. That's less than $11 per month! As always, you can make up to 1000 copies within your local church.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on January 9, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 6, 2012

Happy New Year!

What's your small-group resoluton?

by Amy Jackson

Well, it's officially 2012, and everyone's talking about new year's resolutions. While the usual ones--lose weight, work out more, get organized--seem to be talked about most, it has me thinking about small-group resolutions. What is your resolution as a small-group leader, host, coach, or director? What do you hope to work on this year to improve your ministry?

Maybe you want to prepare more thoroughly, spend more time with group members outside of meetings, encourage group members more, or commit to meeting with your coach or another leader.

Share your resolution below so we can be encouraged and encourage one another.

posted by Amy Jackson at 1:53 PM on January 6, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 4, 2012

Looking for a Deal?

We've got you covered.

by Amy Jackson

Have I got a deal for you! Each year we compile a list of our ten most popular resources, and the list for 2011 is now available. The varied list shows that you've been interested in a lot of things this year. From our always popular Small-Group Leader Orientation Guide to a study on using your spiritual gifts to studies from John Ortberg, Tim Keller, and N.T. Wright, there are lots of resources to take a look at.

For a limited time, you can purchase these resources for 25 percent off! Buy them now and use them throughout the year to grow and strengthen your ministry.

Did we get the list right? What are your favorite downloadable resources from SmallGroups.com?

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:59 AM on January 4, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 3, 2012

Potential v. Proven Leaders

Why our understanding of potential makes a difference

by Amy Jackson

Ben Reed, a contributor to SmallGroups.com, made an excellent point on his blog recently, and I had to share it with you. Many of our articles talk about the importance of looking for potential small-group leaders in your group, looking for someone to replace you, and finding an apprentice. Depending on your idea of potential, though, you might be looking for the wrong person. Looking for a potential leader means you aren't looking for the person who has already proven he or she could lead. Instead, it may be the person who seems uncommitted and unmotivated. With practice, you'll learn to see something in people that even they don't see yet. And, most likely, they'll need a little nudge to dive into leadership.

Check out Ben's blog post here, and let us know what you think. How do you identify potential small-group leaders? How have you nudged them along in the past? What was the outcome?

Bonus: For those of you who enjoy physics, you'll get a special joy from Ben's analogy.

posted by Amy Jackson at 4:04 PM on January 3, 2012 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 29, 2011

Did You Know: Video Bible Studies

Check out our bundles that include two to four videos and a guide.

by Amy Jackson

Do you know we offer Video Bible Studies on SmallGroups.com? We currently have 33 video studies covering topics like social justice, spiritual growth, parenting, Joseph, and Easter. Ranging from two to four sessions, these Bible studies include videos and a study guide for your group. You can even make up to 1,000 copies of the study guide for use in your local church.

No need to locate a great teacher for these studies; we've got you covered with people like Francis Chan, Donald Miller, Erwin McManus, and John Ortberg. We also have studies based on episodes of Listen Up TV, including our newest Video Bible Study, Christians and Social Justice. Use them for a quick Bible study with your small group, as sessions at a retreat or training event, or with a Sunday school class. Our video Bible studies are perfect when you need a study in a jiffy, are trying to fill a few weeks before your next study, have a group of visual learners, or want to mix things up. Plus, our studies are sold for a reasonable price.

As you begin thinking about your next small-group study, consider using one of our Video Bible Studies. Have you used one before? Let us know how you used it and what you thought about it.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on December 29, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 21, 2011

While We're Waiting

What God has in store along the journey

by Amy Jackson

One theme has stood out to me in 2011: waiting. For the first time in my life, God allowed me to experience an extended time of waiting with no clue of what he had in store for me at the end. It was different from waiting a week for something to go on sale or waiting two weeks for the next paycheck. That kind of waiting involves little mystery about the outcome: I will buy the item I waited for and we'll pay the bill when the money is deposited. It is waiting for something we expect. It is simply delayed gratification.

It's much more difficult to wait for long periods of time for an unknown destination or answer to prayer. Instead of delayed gratification and discipline to stay calm and wait the prescribed amount of time, waiting for the unknown requires a heavy dose of trust in God as we push out the doubt that creeps in, force ourselves to wait instead of make our own way, and deal with the hurt, bitterness, and frustration when we've waited longer than we would have liked. We must keep reminding ourselves that God does want what’s good for us and that he will answer our prayers—even if the answers look nothing like we expected.

The theme of waiting seems especially appropriate during Advent as we learn again how to wait on God. In an entirely new way, I am able to understand Sarah (Genesis 16). Usually when I read the story of Sarah (or Sarai) telling her husband Abraham (or Abram) to conceive a child with Hagar, I have felt shocked and amazed. Why would she tell her husband to be with someone else? Why can't she simply wait for God to deliver on his promise? Now, though, I understand how beautiful the idea of making our own way can appear. When we've waited and done all that we feel God is asking us to do, we begin to get tired of waiting. We assume that if he really were going to deliver, he would have done so by now, and we begin to plot how we can make things happen in our own power. Until this year of waiting, I never understood how someone could get to that point. But now I do.

What I've learned in all this waiting, though, is that the blessing comes not only when we reach the destination, but also as we journey—in the work that God does in our lives while we're waiting. As we wait on him, we get a true picture of our hearts and souls. We learn just how little we trust God and how human we truly are. And we learn that God's way isn't a prescription (take this pill, do that dance, and everything you want will come true). Instead, it's a journey—and the best gift is God's presence along the way.

In all this waiting I've realized that many times we approach small groups with set goals, timelines, and expectations in mind. We follow set "prescriptions," waiting for the expected outcome to happen in the expected timeline: we'll discuss confession, confess to one another, be healed, and be amazing Christians afterward. Or I'll identify an apprentice, train for eight and a half weeks, and birth a perfectly healthy new group. We wait in a delayed-gratification kind of way. But I think our wait for spiritual growth is much closer to the unknown-destination waiting I've experienced this year. There's no guarantee that life with God will be easy. There's no guarantee that if we follow the prescription we'll experience amazing life-change. There's no guarantee that everyone in our group will even want to grow spiritually. And there's no guarantee that once we experience change we won't return to our old ways.

We can, however, stick together as a community as we journey, waiting on God. When we begin to feel like Sarah, wanting to make our own way, we can encourage one another to continue to lean into and trust God. We can help one another to see the work God is doing in our lives. We can pray for one another and carry one another's burdens. In doing so, we will be a true vision of biblical community.

As leaders we must hold out this truer definition of waiting—waiting on God, opening our hearts and minds for what he wants to do in our lives, without always knowing the destination. As we help our group members understand how to wait, I believe we will see real growth and change—I just can't tell you when or how. But maybe that's the beauty of it all.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on December 21, 2011 | Comments (4) | Trackbacks (0)

December 20, 2011

John Ortberg On Sale!

Buy our newest Christmas video Bible study for only $9.95.

by Amy Jackson

Looking for a last minute study to get you in the Christmas mood? Check out our newest Christmas study, John Ortberg on Christmas (3 session course). While normally $14.95 for this pack of three videos and a PDF Bible study, we're offering it for only $9.95 for a limited time.

Ortberg focuses on the generosity God showed through Christmas as an example for how generous we should be to others. Do the study on your own, share it with your family, or even use it after the holidays with your small group to extend the holiday season. Whatever you do, don't miss this sale.

posted by Amy Jackson at 11:23 AM on December 20, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 19, 2011

Fighting Isolation

Many church leaders struggle to identify significant relationships in their lives

by Amy Jackson

As the weather grows colder and the days become shorter, I isolate myself more. When I get home, I throw on warm, comfy clothes and snuggle up in a chair with our dog. My husband and I make simple meals of warm comfort food and spend the evening talking or watching our favorite television shows. Gone are the days of summer when the warm temperatures and long days meant there were extra hours to spend meeting friends for dinner or taking long walks through the neighborhood, connecting with neighbors. During the cold winter months, we have to nearly force ourselves to be social and connect with friends—to choose to live in community and invest in meaningful relationships.

While spending more time at home is natural when the weather is less than desirable, what if your life were always a winter of isolation? In his article for our resource Accountability for Church Leaders, David Augsburger writes that isolation is a serious issue for church leaders:

Shrinking personal networks have come to characterize Western life. The healthy person needs 20 to 30 significant relationships—five or so each drawn from family, church, work, play, neighborhood, and relatives. These are partially interlocking, yet richly varied networks of friends with commitment to intense, positive, reciprocal relationships with history and continuity. Many church leaders are hard pressed to name more than a few friends who are truly mutual and reciprocal. The constant temptation to be a helper in nonreciprocal and non-accountable relationships leaves a caregiver impoverished relationally, with less community than is necessary for healthy functioning.

With so many commitments to investing in others, without necessarily participating in mutual relationships, church leaders may struggle to identify many significant relationships in their lives. For many church leaders, relationships are ministry-based, transient, and somewhat superficial. For instance, a small-group leader may be friends with one of the small-group members. The two may e-mail regularly (mostly related to the group meetings), talk weekly at church services and at the group meetings, and share some meaningful prayer requests. At the end of the small group, though, there is a good chance that the relationship will turn out to be less close than originally thought.

This is a problem. Church leaders, like all Christians, need to know and be known. We will struggle in life, and we need to have friendships that hold us accountable and help us grow. And perhaps church leaders need this even more. James writes that those "who teach will be judged more strictly" (James 3:1). Yet when we feel isolated, it's difficult to identify close friends who we would want to begin an accountability relationship with.

Check out Accountability for Church Leaders to learn how you can intentionally build accountability relationships into your life. You and your ministry will be healthier for it.

Share with us: how do you avoid isolation as a church leader?

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:16 AM on December 19, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 12, 2011

Top 5 Icebreakers of 2011

What you've been using to start your group meetings

by Amy Jackson

Continuing our reflection on 2011, we've identified our top five most viewed icebreakers. Icebreakers include discussion starters and activities that get group members talking. They not only get good conversation going, but also help group members think about the topic for the night. Try these with your small group, and let us know your other favorites from the site.

1. What Does it Mean? by Tami Rudkin
Group members evaluate the meaning of common catchphrases.

2. Recharging by Tami Rudkin
How do you recharge your battery?

3. Faith Walk by Tami Rudkin
What area of your life requires a great deal of faith?

4. Name Your Week by Tami Rudkin
Describe your week using the letters of your first name.

5. Opposites by Tami Rudkin
The group takes turns finding opposites to a specific word until someone is stumped.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:58 AM on December 12, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 7, 2011

Staying Spiritually Vibrant

Choosing to stay filled up

by Amy Jackson

Staying spiritually vibrant from Southeast Christian Church on Vimeo.

In one of our recent e-mail newsletters we highlighted the importance of soul care, especially for leaders. Being a leader requires a constant outpouring of ourselves, and we need to take the time to allow God to fill us back up.

Check out this great three-minute video from Bill Search about what we as leaders can do to stay spiritually vibrant and connected to God so we're continually filled up.

Let us know what you think. What do you do to stay spiritually vibrant?

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on December 1, 2011 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

November 29, 2011

Bringing the Christmas Spirit to Your Small Group

Don't pass up this golden opportunity.

by Amy Jackson

Christmas is a time to celebrate Jesus' birth and the relationships in our lives—including our small-group friends. With Christmas right around the corner, it's a good idea to begin thinking about what your small group will do together for Christmas.

Of all the Christmas parties with friends and social functions during the season, one of my favorite gatherings has always been with my small group. Regardless of the group (I've changed small groups each year), this is always a memorable time. Last year my small group celebrated with a fondue dinner complete with cheese fondue that we dipped bread and veggies in, and a dinner fondue that we cooked chicken, steak, and shrimp in. It was a slow meal, and it was perfect for the small-group setting. All the group members brought their children, and we went around the table reflecting on the season and our time spent together as a group.

While the food was great, it wasn't just the food that made it an amazing time. There was something about cooking together in our tiny, 1923-style kitchen—broth nearly boiling over, dessert baking in the oven, fridge opening nonstop as people grabbed ingredients and drinks. Cooking together is usually reserved for the closest family members, and it was special to share it with our small-group friends.

If we're to truly live life together, shouldn't we celebrate the season together, too? Check out this article on Christmas ideas from our site, and share your ideas for celebrating below.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:41 AM on November 29, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

November 23, 2011

Thanksgiving and Beyond

What our holidays have to do with Holy Days

by Amy Jackson

Keri Wyatt Kent is onto something. She writes in an article on our sister website BuildingChurchLeaders.com that there is a wonderful connection between our holidays—Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and so on—and the Holy Days we read about in Scripture. Each of them is a time to remember, celebrate, and gather together before God. Gratitude and celebration are especially important in our walk. It is through them that joy can spring forth and give us strength to walk through the difficult days of life. Additionally, Keri shares how we are called to be grateful even when things are tough, just as the pilgrims were.

Take a moment to read through Keri's insights, reminders, and even an idea about outreach in "Happy Holy Days."

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on November 23, 2011 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

November 22, 2011

Are We Inspiring Hope?

Your idea of a great small-group meeting might be missing something

by Amy Jackson

When I think of a great small-group meeting, I think of authentic conversations, new insights, several good laughs, and feeling known and loved. Something that doesn't normally come to mind? Inspiring hope. But that's changed.

Recently at my women's small group, I was filled with hope, and that was exciting—especially because I haven't always been a fan of women's ministry. Our discussion filled me with a renewed sense of mission, identity, and worth. Surprisingly, this great small-group meeting happened despite being in a group with less-than-perfect group dynamics, no clear leader, and a book study that's not exactly the best I've seen—red flags that would normally catch my attention. But our discussion stemmed from a great question, authentic sharing, and wisdom gained over years of following Christ. Our answers steered clear of the trivial and cliché and instead pointed to hard-learned truths.

So is inspiring hope something that we should strive for in small groups? Or should we be content with nice discussions?

The Bible certainly seems to say a lot about hope. Romans 12:9-13 says to be joyful in hope. Romans 15:4 points out that Scripture was written to fill us with hope, and 15:13 clarifies that it should be an overflowing hope, full of joy and peace. 2 Corinthians 3:12 reminds us that hope makes us bold to live out lives of faith. And 1 Thessalonians 1:3 says hope can give us endurance as well.

It certainly appears as if hope might be something Jesus wants for his followers. And if hope makes us bold and gives us endurance to keep on keeping on, it seems that hope is an important ingredient for spiritual formation. After all, if there's no hope of change or redemption, what's the point? Hope sounds perfect for small groups.

So do your group meetings inspire members with hope? Do your group members leave meetings feeling as though they've been on holy ground, that God was truly present in the meeting? Do they leave with a greater sense of identity and mission? Do they leave feeling emboldened to live a life worthy of their calling?

How do we make sure our meetings are brimming with hope? I imagine that depending on your study, some nights are more easily inspiring. For instance, talking about Jesus' miracles and discussing the miracles group members have seen in their own lives probably feels more inspiring than discussing the laws of Exodus. On the other hand, if we're reminding group members of Christ's power, the working of the Holy Spirit, and the deep love of God, can't any topic bring hope and inspiration?

As we head into the Christmas season, consider how your small-group meetings are inspiring hope in your group members. As we consider the hope of the world arriving as a baby, may your group bathe in the light of hope, gaining joy and strength to live lives for Christ's glory.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on November 22, 2011 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

November 17, 2011

Last-Minute Thanksgiving Ideas

Using the theme of the holiday to connect your group to God and the community

by Amy Jackson

Thanksgiving is one week away . . . are you doing anything with your group to take advantage of the holiday?

Thanksgiving is a great time to fit in an outreach or serving activity with your group. The theme of gratitude lends itself to the message of Christ—with all he's done for us, we have so much to be thankful for! SmallGroups.com has three ideas for you to consider with your group.

A Pie in the Heart
Use pies and Psalm 136 to bless someone.

Giving Thanks
Have a meal together and invite others to enjoy your small group for the night.

Acts of Thanksgiving
Spend time in active prayer for the community.

posted by Amy Jackson at 10:53 AM on November 17, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

October 14, 2011

Let Us Know What You Think

You won't go away empty-handed.

by Amy Jackson

Recently, I had the opportunity to participate in the Twelve Conference put on by Saddleback Church. I love these events because I get to learn about current small-group ministry hot topics and hear about some of the issues small-group ministries all over the country are facing. It gives me ideas on how SmallGroups.com can better serve small-group leaders, coaches, and pastors.

It was great hearing from the "big names" of small-group ministry. But, I can't help but think there's someone even better to ask about small-group hot topics and issues: you! As someone who is in the trenches of small-group ministry, you're the perfect person to let us know what resources to provide and topics to cover on SmallGroups.com in 2012.

Would you do me a huge favor? Take our quick survey to let us know how we can better serve you and your small-group ministry. For taking time out of your busy day, we'll reward you with a code for $10 off at our sister website, BuildingChurchLeaders.com. Thanks in advance for taking the time to fill us in. We greatly appreciate it.

posted by Amy Jackson at 4:38 PM on October 14, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

October 13, 2011

Check Out Our Exciting Giveaway!

You could win a NOOK color or a membership to SmallGroups.com

by Amy Jackson

On my latest trip to Target I was shocked to see all the Christmas decorations and products neatly filling aisles of shelves. While it's hard to believe, it's not too early to be thinking about Christmas and Christmas shopping. Do you have anyone on your list who might like a NOOK color? Or, would you like to give yourself an early Christmas present?

If so, our current sweepstakes is perfect for you! Visit our Facebook page and enter to win one of two NOOK colors to read SmallGroups.com digital magazines and all your favorite small-group books. We'll also be giving away a free one-year membership to SmallGroups.com each day throughout this promotion. That means you'll have unlimited access to all our downloadable resources, Bible studies, and archived articles. A membership to SmallGroups.com is sure to take your small-group ministry to the next level.

There are two ways to receive entries into our sweepstakes: sign up on our Facebook page, or share the link to our digital magazine on Twitter and include @SmallGroupscom in your post.

You've been good all year. Why wait until Christmas to give yourself a NOOK color or a membership to SmallGroups.com? Enter our sweepstakes today, and be sure to tell your friends!

posted by Amy Jackson at 3:44 PM on October 13, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

October 11, 2011

Learning to Trust Unlikely Leaders and Mentors

How one man was challenged by a young leader doing much for God's kingdom

by Amy Jackson

This past weekend, the Catalyst conference took place in Atlanta. Matt Woodley, editor of Preaching Today here at Christianity Today, was at the conference and took time to blog about his experiences.

One of his posts is about his response to Katie Davis, a young woman who is doing a lot of work in Uganda for God's kingdom. Matt's view of young leaders was challenged in hearing Katie speak at Catalyst. Sometimes leaders and mentors may look different than we imagine. Check out his post here, and then come back to let us know what you think. Who are the people that your church seems to neglect as potential leaders, mentors, and heroes?

posted by Amy Jackson at 2:05 PM on October 11, 2011 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

October 10, 2011

Creating a Small-Group Covenant

Whether it's formal or not, you need to have this discussion with your small group.

by Amy Jackson

Does your small group have a convenant? Regardless of whether you have a signed document or not, your group will need to talk about some of the things that covenants cover--the expectations you have for your group and your group members. And if you've ever run into conflict over expectations in a group, you know how valuable it can be to have had these conversations at the beginning of a group.

Here's a great video on the matters of covenants from Bill Search from a series of videos he created just for small-group leaders. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Creating a group covenant from Southeast Christian Church on Vimeo.

posted by Amy Jackson at 4:22 PM on October 10, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

October 6, 2011

The Theology of Women in Leadership

A resource from our sister publication

by Amy Jackson

Our sister publication Gifted for Leadership recently published a new resource called The Theology of Women in Leadership, and it caught my eye. I know the churches we represent all hold different beliefs regarding women in leadership roles in the church. That said, I appreciate the articles in this resource that outline the perspectives of both egalitarians and complementarians. And, with authors like Carolyn Custis James and Bob Hyatt, we get theologically-backed views. If you're interested in learning more about the theology of women in leadership, or if you or a woman you know is called to leadership—perhaps even in your small-group ministry—this could be a valuable resource for you.

Interested in more resources for women leaders? Be sure to check out Gifted for Leadership's blog.

posted by Amy Jackson at 8:00 AM on October 6, 2011 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

October 4, 2011

A Well-Kept Secret that Shouldn't Be a Secret at All

Do you know our Training Tools are customizable?

by Amy Jackson

Hopefully you've been able to try out at least one of our Training Tools from SmallGroups.com. We have resources for your every small-group need, including practical skills for leading your group, orientation guides for various small-group roles, survival guides to help you navigate urgent issues that arise in your group, assessment packs to help you evaluate your small group and small-groups ministry, training themes to cover critical small-group topics in depth, and four-packs that group together four related resources at a discounted price.

I know you'll find these resources thoughtful, practical, and thorough. But there's also a well-kept secret about our resources that I'd like you to know—they're fully customizable Word documents. Of course, you may be wondering, Why does that matter?

When I was serving as the small-groups coordinator at a local church, this was an invaluable perk for me. I was able to purchase the Small-Group Leader Orientation Guide, edit the information so it was specific to our church's policies, add a page that included our ministry's mission and vision, and print out copies to distribute to my leaders. There was no need for me to re-create the wheel or spend hours of my valuable time typing up this incredible information. In just a short span of time I could personalize the content and have it printed and given (or e-mailed) to all my leaders. (Quick reminder: When you purchase SmallGroups.com Training Tools, you are given permission to make up to 1,000 copies for use in your local church.)

Are you a coach? Purchase our newest resource, Corporate Spiritual Disciplines for Small Groups, and use it to train your leaders. In just a few minutes you could add a specific instruction sheet for your leaders, insert a few tips from your own experience on implementing spiritual disciplines, and include a calendar of when you'll discuss the different articles together.

Are you a leader? Purchase our survival guide Handling Tragedy in Your Small Group to use as a resource in your group. Pick out an article for your group to discuss and type appropriate discussion questions right on the article before printing and distributing to your group members.

Or purchase one of our assessment packs such as Do You Lead a Life-Changing Small Group? to use with your group. Add your own questions and remove ones that aren't appropriate for your group. Customize which assessments you'll use with your group and the order in which you'll use them. Then just print and hand out.

Creating our Training Tools in Word documents is just one of the ways we’ve specifically designed these resources to meet your needs. I hope this format allows you to customize our tools for your ministry. Let me know what you think about this format and how you've been able to use our tools for your ministry.

posted by Amy Jackson at 3:32 PM on October 4, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

September 12, 2011

Waving Goodbye to Small Group Mission Projects?

Or at least to our usual attitude.

by Amy Jackson

Alan Danielson recently wrote on his blog that he hates small group mission projects. I think his point is valid. He clarifies that he has no problem with missional groups, but rather with mission projects – because they're seen as projects, not as primarily about people or relationships.

How often do we view people as projects or goals? I remember having a conversation with a friend once about the fact that she had a lot of friends who were unbelievers. I told her that I thought it was awesome that she was connecting with those outside her church family and encouraged her to continue strengthening those relationships.

My friend quickly looked down at her feet. "None of them have come to Christ yet. I've really been trying. I keep telling them about Jesus." She was clearly ashamed by the fact that none of her friends who were unbelievers had committed their lives to Christ yet.

My conversation with her, and others like it, have made me wonder how often we approach relationships with unbelievers like this. How often do we see them as people that we need to convince to commit their lives to Christ? How often do we see them as checkmarks on a small group progress sheet? (Meet weekly? Check. Invite new guests? Check. Lead at least three people to Christ? Check.) How often do we view building relationships with unbelievers as mainly for the sake of accomplishing a Christian goal instead of for the sake of loving someone that God loves?

How does your small group approach missional living? What does your ministry teach about being missional? How might we approach evangelism with authentic relationships at the center of our mission?

I'd love to hear what you think about this topic. Also, be sure to check out our newest article Nine Principles of Relational Evangelism by Randall Neighbour.

posted by Amy Jackson at 9:29 AM on September 12, 2011 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

September 10, 2011

Great Videos from Bill Search

How to conduct a great first small-group meeting

by Sam O'Neal

Hello faithful readers! There is no other way to say it: I have dropped the ball in the last month when it comes to this blog. I was supposed to continue updating posts as I transitioned out of my role as Managing Editor of SmallGroups.com, but I let the responsibility slip in all the swirl of moving to a new city and starting a new job.

And I apologize.

But, no need to dwell on the past. Especially because the future is here! Amy Jackson is the new editor for SmallGroups.com, and you will be getting to know her on the main website and through blog posts here. As I have been telling everyone about Amy -- you are all in good hands.

Speaking of good hands, I wanted to make sure that all of you are aware of a new series of videos developed by Bill Search, who is the Small Groups Pastor at Southeast Christian Church in Louisville. Bill has been a great writer for SmallGroups.com, and this series of videos he put together is targeted specifically to equip small-group leaders -- which of course makes me happy. :)

Here is a sample of what you'll find. Enjoy!

Conducting A Great First Group Meeting from Southeast Christian Church on Vimeo.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:47 AM on September 10, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

August 4, 2011

Video of the Week: Facilitation

Mac Lake gives great advice on how to improve your facilitation skills.

by Sam O'Neal

I really like this video from Mac Lake (former Small Groups Pastor at Seacoast Church) on how to improve as a facilitator of discussion.

Time well spent for small-group leaders and member alike, in my opinion!

How Can I Improve My Facilitation Skills? from Seacoast Church on Vimeo.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 10:49 AM on August 4, 2011 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

July 25, 2011

Margaret Feinberg: When People Leave Your Group

Great advice from one of our sister resources.

by Margaret Feinberg

Here is a quick excerpt from a blog post written by Margaret Feinberg on our sister website Gifted for Leadership. Click here to read the rest of what Margaret has to say on the subject of people leaving your small group.

Groups. We’ve all been in one where the numbers keep whittling down until it’s just you and the leader left.

When you’re the one leading, what do you do if people start leaving yours?

1. Don’t freak out. This does not stamp you with the World’s Worst Small Group Leader award.

Breathe. Chances are the reason they left has nothing to do with you. Sometimes life happens. Work shifts get moved around, kids have music lessons and baseball games, illnesses and life crises occur. Nothing gets accomplished if you start hyperventilating and then pass out on the floor.

2. Start talking. Ask them to a friendly cup of coffee in a nonthreatening tone and dialogue with them about why they left. Did life merely get hectic? Lend your support and listening ear. Is there anything you can do to encourage them to stay? If the time your small group has decided to meet doesn’t work anymore, can you change it?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:52 AM on July 25, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

July 19, 2011

Video of the Week: Difficult Situations

Helpful thoughts from a helpful speaker

by Sam O'Neal

I recently came across this video from Josh Surratt, who is the Small Groups Pastor at Seacoast Church in South Carolina.

He's got some good thoughts on handling tough situations within a small group. Here goes:

Dealing With Difficult Situations from Seacoast Church on Vimeo.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:16 AM on July 19, 2011 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

July 11, 2011

Les Parrott on "Impossible People"

A helpful corrective on the common view of EGRs.

by Sam O'Neal

I am currently putting the finishing touches on the next edition of our SmallGroups.com Digital Magazine (look for it during the first week of August), and that includes writing an article about "Problem People."

I won't give away too many of my thoughts just yet, but the process of writing did remind me of a great article written by Les Parrott on SmallGroups.com a couple years back. Here's the link to the whole article, but I am especially fond of what Les had to say in the conclusion:

Everybody is somebody's impossible person some of the time. But rarely is somebody everyone's impossible person all of the time. Oh, there are those few annoying exceptions that make it their mission to complicate everyone's existence—you can usually detect them when the mere mention of their presence elicits a resounding "Oh no!" from a group of people. But, thankfully, they are rare.
That's why a good rule of thumb is to remember that the difficulty you experience with most impossible people is in your relationship, not in the person. After all, someone you like very much might get along just fine with someone else in the group that you can barely bare. Impossibility, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

That's a great thought, in my mind—a helpful correction to the idea that every group has someone who is especially difficult (and EGR) and needs to be "handled."

Anything you would like to add?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:56 AM on July 11, 2011 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

June 13, 2011

Can Online Small Groups Work?

Let's explore an issue that generates strong opinions among "group people."

by Sam O'Neal

I want to share a secret, so I'm going to whisper. Come in close so you can hear: [whispher] In a couple weeks, SmallGroups.com will feature a downloadable resource on effectively launching online small groups in your church [/whisper].

That's right: this will be something like an official endorsement for online small groups. Or at least, an official endorsement on a few methods for attempting online small groups.

Some of you don't care about this subject either way, but others of you may be feeling mad right about now. Upset. Betrayed. Well, before you get carried away, here are six reasons why Alan Danielson loves online small groups:

I get to do group with some great friends from across the country.
It's simple.
I attended once in my bathrobe when I was sick!
We don't have to coordinate a snack schedule.
We hold each other very accountable.
It's one of the rawest, most honest group experiences I've ever had.

If you have some opinions on this topic (including angry ones), I would love to hear them before I finish up the final edits on this resource. So let me know in the Comments section below if you have an answer to this question: Can online small groups really work as well as "face to face" groups"?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:25 AM on June 13, 2011 | Comments (3) | Trackbacks (0)

June 6, 2011

Pornography and Small-Group Leaders

When does exposure to pornography disqualify a person from leadership?

by Sam O'Neal

The video below is an interesting discussion between Mark Driscoll and James MacDonald on the question, "When does viewing porn disqualify someone for ministry?" The speakers in the video are pastors, and they are focusing primarily on leadership requirements for fellow pastors.

But the discussion can easily be extended to lay ministers, including small-group leaders. And I certainly think that is a conversation we need to have.

So, at what point does exposure to pornography disqualify a person (man or woman) from leading a small group?

Pornography and Ministry from Harvest Bible Chapel on Vimeo.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:59 AM on June 6, 2011 | Comments (3) | Trackbacks (0)

May 31, 2011

Networking: Let's Talk About Conferences

What options remain for on-site training?

by Sam O'Neal

I have attended several small-group conferences over the past five years, and I can honestly say I enjoyed every one. These events are a great place to learn something new about small-group ministry, yes. Of course. More importantly, though, these events are a great place to meet somebody new—and that often proves invaluable.

But I've noticed a trend in recent years, and you may have as well: many small-group conferences have gone the way of the dodo. Others have gone the way of the caterpillar and metamorphed into something new. Regardless, if you want to attend a conference this year (let alone bring some folks from your church), the options are limited.

So, I thought I would provide a spot here for announcements and a little networking. What conferences are you aware of that would be beneficial for small-group leaders and point persons? What conferences are you planning on attending? What conferences do you wish you could attend?

And if your church, denomination, or organization is hosting an event this year, feel free to post a little blurb with a link.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:09 AM on May 31, 2011 | Comments (5) | Trackbacks (0)

May 24, 2011

Video of the Week: Erasing Hell

Another discussion-sparking video on heaven and hell (this time from Francis Chan)

by Sam O'Neal

People around the world have been buzzing about heaven and hell after the release of Rob Bell's newest book Love Wins. And that means small groups have been buzzing, too.

If you have followed that conversation at all, you probably saw the promotional video for the book that really got things cooking. (And again -- if you didn't, I'll bet someone from your group did.) We embedded that video on this blog as a way to spark a discussion about the doctrines of heaven and hell in a group setting.

Well, it looks like Francis Chan will be entering the Exchange of Ideas soon with a book of his own. The bad news is you have to wait until July to see what he adds to the overall discussion. The good news is you get another chance to spark some discussion in your group with the book's promotional video, which is below.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 3:55 PM on May 24, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 13, 2011

Tackling "Love Wins"

Am I a gatekeeper for the members of my small group?

by Sam O'Neal

We recently featured a Darryl's Dilemma on SmallGroups.com that asks this question: Is it okay for a small group to study Love Wins? As one would expect, this topic has received a lot of comments from readers. And I'm happy to say that just about all of them have contributed to the conversation in a thoughtful way (so far).

A Theme
As I read through the comments, one theme stands out to me in particular. I'll summarize it this way: "A small group can (and possibly should) study this book if the participants are mature enough to handle it." Not all of the comments run that way, but a majority do.

You can certainly make a Scriptural case for this kind of restriction. I'm thinking specifically of Paul's comments in 1 Corinthians 3: "I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not ready" (v. 2).

I can also understand how that perspective makes an efficient sort of sense from the perspective of a pastor or small-group coordinator. I can see the dilemma that these people would face in this situation: I want the people in our small groups to tackle tough issues, but I don't want them to actually believe any crazy ideas.

But I'll be honest: that kind of thinking rubs me the wrong way as a small-group leader and member.

Who Are the Gatekeepers?
I think my discomfort is based on two factors:

It rankles me to think that another human being would have authority to not only put some kind of grade on my level of spiritual maturity, but also to limit the kinds of ideas I can be exposed to. This may be nothing more than a manifestation of my own pride, but I prefer to believe that the Holy Spirit operating within me has the authority to guide my spiritual growth.
Looking back at church history, it seems to me that bad things usually happen when the Church attempts to clamp down on people's exposure to ideas, rather than allowing a consensus to be formed through a more open exchange of ideas.

I think the basic question I'm trying to answer is this: should I be serving as a gatekeeper for the members of my small group, choosing which ideas they can handle and which they cannot? Also: should I as a small-group leader submit myself and my group to the decisions of a church-appointed gatekeeper when it comes to the different ideas we are allowed to explore?

As I said, I'm still thinking through these questions—something about this issue creates a stirring inside of me. But I would love to hear your thoughts.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 10:32 AM on May 13, 2011 | Comments (3) | Trackbacks (0)

May 10, 2011

Video of the Week: Missional Community Made Simple

A quick and easy picture of what goes wrong and how to fix it.

by Sam O'Neal

I believe the following video was put together by the folks at www.sayingitsimply.net (which doesn't seem to be working right now), but I first found it on Alan Danielson's blog (which is worth reading regularly if you don't already).

So there. Without further ado: here is Missional Community Made Simple.

Your thoughts?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 8:35 AM on May 10, 2011 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

May 4, 2011

Excerpt: Harnessing Our Humanity

Using your weaknesses to become a better leader

by Sharon Hodde Miller

Have you ever led a small group in which the following type of scenario took place?

You’re excited because you invited a new person to your small group—perhaps a young co-worker or a student you met on campus—and this person is not a believer. He or she lives with their boyfriend or girlfriend and is very much immersed in the secular world, but you’ve had some promising conversations with them lately, and they’re definitely curious.

The small group time goes smoothly—lots of interesting conversation, and the new person is welcomed by the group. You feel encouraged and exhilarated! Then comes the prayer request time. A member of the group begins to share about their dating relationship and confesses the need for prayer and accountability with sexual purity. They explain, “We just keep going too far and I feel convicted about it. We haven’t had sex or anything (spoken with a worst-case-scenario kind of tone), but we are really struggling.”

And with that comment, you immediately cringe. Unintentionally, the speaker just qualified their sin as being less severe as others. While the group member acknowledges that their sin is wrong, they’ve implied that it’s nowhere near as bad as some people’s—such as the new person sitting right next to you.

Note: you can continue reading this post on our sister blog, Gifted for Leadership.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 10:16 AM on May 4, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

April 13, 2011

Excerpt: Overcoming the Head Culture

A few quick thoughts about the importance of application

by Dave Treat

Editor's note: I am finishing up the edits on our next downloadable training resource: "Meaningful Application in Small Groups." Dave Treat is one of the authors in that resoruce, and I thought his article was especially hip and groovy. You'll see what I mean in the excerpt below. :)

Back in the 60's a new retail niche called Head Shops emerged. Amid psychedelic posters, macrame, and incense you could find all the paraphernalia you would need to care for your joints, deal with roaches, and cultivate your grass (so I've been told.) In fact, most Head Shops had everything you needed to get high—except the key ingredient.

Excuse this bizarre metaphor, but I believe that many of our churches are glorified Head Shops. We cater to the head (knowledge) and we create a culture—an expectant atmosphere, a specialized language, and even paraphernalia—without the key ingredient: application.

I grew up in a religious tradition that functioned as if knowledge alone would transform people. Truly serious believers immersed themselves in the Head culture: Sunday morning teaching of the Word, Sunday school (age-graded instruction), Sunday Night and Midweek Service (more teaching). Any gathering—a youth event, choir practice, or deacon's meeting—was invariably marked by a devotional mini-sermon. Small groups were called "Bible Studies" for good reason. The radio provided a steady stream of world-class Bible teachers who systematically added content to our overflowing skulls.

We operated on the premise: "If we just teach people the right things, they will change." If we are going to move past the surface, the first thing we will need to do is change a culture that believes knowledge alone is enough.

The Head culture manifests itself in our small groups in a couple of ways:

It forces us to be curriculum-centric. We often define our groups solely on what they intend to study, and devote the bulk (if not all) of the group meeting to a study. I love Bill Donahue's line: "Jesus did not command us to go into the world and complete the curriculum." We ensure that all the blanks are filled in our workbooks without taking sufficient time to ponder how each truth should impact our daily lives.
We recruit believers with teaching gifts as our primary group leaders. And then we seem surprised when they lean into their gift and just teach! Even if we train our group leaders to facilitate interactive discussion around application, the teaching gift has been so valued in the past that our leaders tend to default back to the role of teacher. Particularly when under stress or time constraints, our leaders find it a lot easier to simply lecture.

Our first goal, then, is to shift from a knowledge-only delivery model of small groups to one in which less content is delivered and more truth is applied. Minimize the value of getting through all 12 discussion questions and maximize the value of getting through 2 questions designed to change behavior. If you have to, put a post-it note in your Bible with the words: "It's application, stupid."

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:49 PM on April 13, 2011 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

April 12, 2011

Video of the Week: Lifeway's Summit 2010

Watch well-known leaders and the next generation’s rising stars come together to discuss small groups.

by Sam O'Neal

I remember watching an online event last year called "The Summit: A Convergence of Small Group Experts."

The title intrigued me, obviously, but so did the list of people who were participating in the discussion: Reid Smith, Lyman Coleman, Bill Donahue, Steve Gladen, Carl George, Eddie Mosely, Rick Howerton, Randall Neighbour, Greg Bowman, and Bill Search. Now, that is definitely a convergence of small-group experts if I have ever seen one. I was edified greatly by the experience.

So imagine how pleased I was this morning when I came across an embed-able version of the Summit video posted by LifewayTV. (It's just a couple inches below these words, in case you haven't seen it yet.)

If you are a small-group leader, pastor, coach, or have any interest in small groups and community ministry, I suggest you carve out some time to watch this and learn.

The Summit: A Convergence of Small Group Experts from LifeWay Productions on Vimeo.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 1:04 PM on April 12, 2011 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

April 4, 2011

Is Curriculum Unnecessary?

Could it even be harmful?

by Sam O'Neal

I recently received a question from one of our readers that I thought was worth thinking about. I have thought about it for a few days, and I have formulated what I consider to be a reasonable and somewhat-interesting response (which I will post later).

But I also think think this question is big enough to merit some discussion within our community, so I would like to present it to all of you. Here's what the emailer wrote originally:

The Small Group study setting is perhaps the only opportunity we have left as followers of Christ today to just lay aside everything that would distract and beset us and simply read and share with one another from the Holy Scriptures, much as the 1st century Christians would have done. Whether Bible study is a text study or a topic study, I believe that either can be approached very effectively with the aid of the Scriptures and its author, the Holy Spirit.

Why do so many folks think that is not enough? Even, so-called leaders? Why is an absentee "leader" (author of the curriculum) needed to replace the personal guidance of the Holy Spirit and the observations of those studying together? Why are the people who are meeting viewed as being so inept and so clueless that they cannot, even with God's help, read and share with one another from the Bible without a curriculum?

Like I said, it's an interesting question: is it possible that the modern proliferation of pre-written Bible studies and discussion guides has distracted Christians from focusing on the text of Scripture and interacting with the Holy Spirit? Has curriculum done more harm than good?

Discuss.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 2:03 PM on April 4, 2011 | Comments (12) | Trackbacks (0)

April 1, 2011

Friday Flashback: A Dynamic Quotation from Eugene Peterson

When it comes to applying Scripture, this changes everything.

by Sam O'Neal

I had an "Aha!" moment yesterday as I was editing a batch of devotional material for Men of Integrity magazine. (Yes, every now and then I work on something that isn't directly related to small groups.) The devotion was an excerpt from Eat This Book, by Eugene Peterson, and one line in particular made my mouth drop open.

Here's the paragraph:

If I'm not living in active response to the living God revealed in the Bible, reading about his creation/salvation/holiness won't interest me—at least not for long. The most important question we ask of any text isn't "What does this mean?" but "What can I obey?" Simple obedience will open up our lives to a text more than any number of Bible studies, dictionaries, and concordances.

Wow. Not "What does it mean," but "What can I obey?"

That's revolutionary, isn't it?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:16 PM on April 1, 2011 | Comments (13) | Trackbacks (0)

March 25, 2011

Friday Flashback: Those Annoying Labels!

Why "lay" small-group leaders should carry "clergy" business cards

by Dan Lentz

For years, I've struggled with the labels of "clergy" and "laity." I've had the opportunity to wear both labels at different times in my adult life. And truthfully, I'm at a point now where no one knows what to label me. My secret confession is this: "I like it that way!" For me, the labels have very little significance to our life in Christ. And really, when you think about it, shouldn't every believer be a blend of clergy and laity? Sure, everyone has unique gifts and callings, but biblically, your title doesn't limit or distinguish who can lead, serve, or follow.

Some would say, Dan, you're not being very respectful. There should be special recognition for those whose income and vocation result from the "work of the Lord." Really? My question is: "How do you define the work of the Lord?"

Continue reading Friday Flashback: Those Annoying Labels!...

posted by Dan Lentz at 7:50 AM on March 25, 2011 | Comments (9) | Trackbacks (0)

March 21, 2011

Summary: Learning Styles in Small Groups

One last post to make sure everything is accessible

by Sam O'Neal

Throughout all of 2011, we have been exploring a blog series on Learning Styles in Small Groups. That series is over now, sadly, but I did want to make sure that I compiled all of the links in one place so that anyone who came late to the party can be sure to read all of the posts (if they so desire).

Therefore, behold Learning Styles in Small Groups:

Overview: Learning Styles and the VARK Method.

Visual Learners:
--A General Overview
--Visual Learners in Small Groups

Auditory Learners:
--A General Overview
--Auditory Learners in Small Groups

Reading/Writing Learners
--A General Overview
--Reading/Writing Learners in Small Groups

Kinesthetic Learners
--A General Overview
--Kinesthetic Learners in Small Groups

posted by Sam O'Neal at 10:57 AM on March 21, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 1, 2011

Learning Styles: Kinesthetic Learners in Your Group

Here is the final post in our continuing series.

by Sam O'Neal

Well, it has been very fun, but it is finally time to finish up our continuing series on Learning Styles and Small Groups.

So far we have covered Visual Learners, Auditory Learners, and Reading/Writing Learners. Last week we got an overview of the final learning preference included in the VARK model: Kinesthetic Learners (also called "kinetic" or "hands-on" learners).

So, the only questions left to answer are: how do Kinesthetic Learners generally fair in a small-group setting, and what can group leaders do to help them get more from the experience?

A Bad Deal
Unfortunately, there are many aspects of participating in a small group that are unappealing to kinesthetic learners. First and foremost would be staying seated in the same place for a long period of time. The traditional method of "going around the circle" for prayer requests is also disagreeable for kinesthetic learners because it takes so long for everyone to talk about what's on their mind, and then everyone to pray out loud.

Kinesthetic learners can also become frustrated when a small group spends most of its time talking and discussing and debating. They want to move quickly into application. They want to get out of the living room and do something.

How to Help
Here are some ways that you can improve the experience of kinesthetic learners in your small group:

Service projects. Kinesthetic learners are great for small groups because they are often the ones pushing others to "practice what they preach." They want to get out into the world and make an impact based on what the group has been learning.
Establish mentoring relationships. Paul's admonition to "follow me as I follow Christ" (1 Corinthians 11:1) sounds just right to kinesthetic learners. Rather than establish some kind of amorphous accountability within the whole small group, kinesthetic learners do well when they can be in a "do as I do" relationship with another disciple of Jesus—both as the mentor and the mentee.
Move around. Sitting still is not a preferred activity for kinesthetic learners, so build in some activities that provide people a chance to move their bodies. Announce a stretch break for five minutes before the discussion starts. Encourage people to get down on their knees or walk around during the prayer time.
Give them something to hold. A kinesthetic learner will do much better during a "sit and talk" activity if they have something in their hands to hold, squeeze, bend, or throw. So consider making one or more of these materials available at each small-group meeting: a small ball, pipe cleaners, Play Doh, a Rubik's Cube—anything that can be physically manipulated while a person sits and participates in a discussion.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:00 AM on March 1, 2011 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

February 25, 2011

More Great Blogs for Small Groups

Fifteen sites you should be reading regularly.

by Sam O'Neal

If you are reading this, then I assume you like to access the blogosphere for information, ideas, and insight concerning the world of small groups. (And you should.)

That being the case, make sure you check out a recent post from Rick Howerton on his new blog Group Life Connected. In it, Rick is kind enough to list 15 high-quality blogs that are all helpful resources for small-group ministry.

I won't list them here (you'll have to jump over to Rick's site), but I will report that I'm very happy with the group represented.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 3:58 PM on February 25, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

February 24, 2011

Is There a Definition for Prayer?

One author takes a crack at it, so what do you think?

by Sam O'Neal

I will be working feverishly today and tomorrow in order to put the finishing touches on our next downloadable resource: Evaluating Prayer in Your Small Group.

I wanted to pause for a moment, though, because one of the articles I am editing contains a working definition for prayer that I thought was interesting. The article was written by Spence Shelton (a small-group pastor and all around good guy), and here is his definition for prayer:

For the sake of common language, this assessment will operate on the idea that prayer is God’s means for people to acknowledge their dependence on him for all things.

Interesting, huh? It got me thinking, at least. Spence continues with a little more explanation:

So when we praise him, when we confess to him, when we believe him for a brother’s need, we put ourselves where God designed for us to be: dependent on his provision. A rich prayer life is one that regularly and unreservedly cries out "Abba, Father."

What is your reaction to this definition/explanation of prayer? Agree or disagree?

Have you heard another definition of prayer that you thought was interesting? (Or do you have one of your own?) If so, please share in the Comments section below.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:12 AM on February 24, 2011 | Comments (3) | Trackbacks (0)

February 17, 2011

Learning Styles: Kinesthetic Learners

The fourth and final learning style in the VARK model

by Sam O'Neal

It's been a few weeks, but it's time to start finishing up our continuing series on Learning Styles and Small Groups.

So far we have covered Visual Learners, Auditory Learners, and Reading/Writing Learners. Now it's time to take a look at the final learning preference included in the VARK model: Kinesthetic Learners (also called "kinetic" or "hands-on" learners).

Gimme a V!
People with a kinesthetic learning style prefer to process information through their fingers and skin. They are "hands on" and would choose to participate in physical activities rather than listen to a lecture or participate in a debate. They learn well when they can manipulate physical objects and conduct experiments.

Kinesthetic learners usually don't like trying to explore abstract theories or ideas. They prefer to be more concrete and practical. "Practice makes perfect" would be an ideal motto for a kinesthetic learner.

Kinesthetic learners also place a high value on experience. They hold things to be more true when they have experienced them, and they would prefer others to tell stories about their experiences, rather than give opinions on matters they are not experts in.

A Few More Clues
Here are some other cues and clues that may help you recognize a kinesthetic learner:

If you ask a kinesthetic learner for directions, she just may offer to take you to the destination herself.
When a kinesthetic learner orders food at a restaurant, he prefers to choose something he has eaten at that restaurant before—something he has already experienced.
Kinesthetic learners enjoy sports and other activities that allow them to engage their bodies with the world around them. Gardening would be a good example.
A kinesthetic employee would prefer to watch his boss demonstrate what needs to be done, rather than reading a manual or listening to his boss explain the task.
Kinesthetic learners use these words and phrases: "application," "get my hands dirty," "that feels right," "it's been my experience that," and so on.

Stay tuned for the final post in this series, which will discuss how to help Kinesthetic Learners engage and benefit most from a small-group setting.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 3:34 PM on February 17, 2011 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

January 20, 2011

The Answer: Small Groups, Confidentiality, and the Law

See the response from a legal expert.

by Sam O'Neal

Earlier this week I posted a question from a pastor who wanted to know if the idea of confidentiality in small groups had any kind of legal support. (Click here to see the full question if you missed it.) The pastor was concerned because one of his group members had been forced to speak in court about something that happened in a previous small group, and the pastor wanted to assure this person that it would not happen again in his church.

Kudos to those of you who responded with your answers, because you were pretty much correct. Here's why attorney Frank Sommerville had to say in response to the pastor's query:

The small groups are not private for legal purposes. Anyone present can be compelled to tell what happened. There is nothing you can do to prevent this possibility.
Sorry.

Just something interesting to keep in mind if a potential group member ever asks about this kind of thing.

By the way, in the earlier post I incorrectly mentioned that the pastor's question came from our friends at Your Church. It was actually part of the Church Administration discussion board at Yahoo!. (If you're interested in becoming part of that group, you can create a Yahoo e-mail account and then contact churchadmin@yahoogroups.com.)

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:39 AM on January 20, 2011 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

January 17, 2011

Question Time: Small Groups, Confidentiality, and the Law

I'd like your opinion regarding the legality of small-group confidentiality.

by Sam O'Neal

One of the benefits of working on the team at Christianity Today International is that I sometimes get "insider information" from some of the other resources in our corporate family.

For example, the following question was recently sent to the editors over at Your Church Resources:

An issue has come up in our church about peoples' legal obligations regarding confidential matters discussed in small group meetings. We strive to maintain strict confidentiality on things discussed in our small group settings. We want them to be a "safe place" where people can share their troubles and not have to worry about group members spreading gossip or the information somehow ending up in a courtroom.
One woman we heard from was in a small group in another church and group members were called in to testify against her in court. Before joining one of our small groups she wanted to be assured that sort of thing would not happen.

So my question is, how private are small groups really? We typically get information second-hand and are not usually witnesses to things that happen in people's homes or in their personal relationships. So can we, should we, be required to appear in court about things we might know about from small group sessions? Are we able to assure people that our groups are in-fact safe for them? Is there any case history that addresses these issues?

The Your Church folk have already solicited an answer to these questions from attorney Frank Sommerville, which I will reveal on Wednesday. Between now and then, however, I would love to hear your opinions.

How would you respond to this pastor in need?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 3:20 PM on January 17, 2011 | Comments (4) | Trackbacks (0)

January 13, 2011

Learning Styles: Reading/Writing Learners in Your Group

Our continuing series is back and better than ever.

by Sam O'Neal

Well, it has been quite a while, but I am back after some extended travel over the holidays. I hope you didn't miss these blog posts too badly!

Before we get back into the swing of things, let me give a quick review of the series we have been featuring here on the intersection between Learning Styles and Small Groups. So far we have covered Visual Learners and Auditory Learners. In my last post before Christmas I gave an overview of the Reading/Writing learning style, and below you will find some specific information on how people with that learning preference generally fare in a small-group setting.

As with auditory learners, small groups present a lot of advantages to people with a reading/writing learning style.

The idea of a Bible study or curriculum guide is exciting for reading/writing learners, as is the opportunity to study the Bible directly. These individuals also enjoy the traditional "inductive Bible study" format where they are asked to read a portion of the text, interpret what it means, and then make a connection toward application.

Reading/writing learners usually enjoy small-group discussions—especially when they are given the opportunity to recite definitions, make connections to other parts of Scripture, and dig into the study notes contained in their Bibles.

Here are some more ways to maximize a small-group experience for reading/writing learners:

Homework. I know, I know. For a lot of people, homework is a dirty word. But not for reading/writing learners. They don't like making spontaneous judgments about a text and would prefer to study, take notes, and answer questions during the week in order to be fully prepared for the group discussion.
Reading time. If your small group is approaching a Bible passage or a book for the first time, be sure to provide a few minutes for people to read it over more than once. Give your reading/writing learners the time they need to dig in.
Write on the board. You may want to consider including a whiteboard or tear-off notepad in your small-group sessions. Ask someone to take notes during the discussion so that the primary ideas and opinions being shared are written out for everyone to see.
Give tests and evaluations. Again, this will probably not be a popular feature of your group if you do it every week. But there is value in writing up a little quiz before your group begins a new curriculum series in order to see what your group members already know. And there is value in another quiz or evaluation after the series is over in order to see what they have retained. (Your reading/writing learners will also like it if you set up a game based on Jeopardy or Trivial Pursuit.)

Next in our continuing series: Kinesthetic Learners!

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:28 AM on January 13, 2011 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 16, 2010

Learning Styles: A Look at Reading/Writing Learners

A brief overview of the third VARK learning style

by Sam O'Neal

I hope you have been following along with our continuing series on "Learning Styles in Small Groups," because it has been a good one. We started with a brief overview of learning styles in general, and have since talked about Visual Learners and Auditory Learners.

Now it's time to explore what it means to have a preference for the Reading/Writing learning style.

Gimme an R!
Remember that a learning style refers to the way a person prefers to perceive and process information. And for Reading/Writing Learners, the preferred way to perceive and process information is through...wait for it...reading and writing.

If Reading/Writing learners were assigned to learn something, they would go straight to a book and research the given topic. If they were asked to explain a concept or idea to another person, they would summarize what they have read about that concept or idea. And when they listen to a lecture or sermon, they process that auditory experience by writing down copious notes.

Reading/writing learners even turn to books as a means of artistic enjoyment and expression. They enjoy literature and good prose, and they often collect vast libraries (when they can afford it). They can write both creatively and practically, moving from a grocery list to poetry without any need to change gears.

A Few More Clues
Here are some other tendencies and preferences that may help you identify a Reading/Writing Learner:

If you ask a Reading/Writing Learner for directions, he will often jot down the appropriate streets and turns in list form.
When a Reading/Writing Learner orders food at a restaurant, she reads the menu and decides what she wants.
Reading/Writing Learners place a high value on well-written quotations and clever word games.
A Reading/Writing Learner would rather email you or text-message you than call your cell phone.

Okay, that's it for now. Check back in a couple days and we will discuss how what Reading/Writing Learners experience in a typical small-group session, as well as what they really need.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 2:05 PM on December 16, 2010 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

November 30, 2010

Learning Styles: Auditory Learners in Groups

Learn what they experience and what they need.

by Sam O'Neal

We are continuing in our ongoing series on the connection between learning styles and small groups. Today, we'll discuss the different experiences and needs that Auditory Learners commonly find in a small-group setting. (Here is our recent post on what it means to be an Auditory Learner in general, in case you missed it.)

Like Pigs in Slop
To put it simply, the vast majority of Auditory Learners love the format of traditional small groups. They thrive in it. They are excited by it. That's because traditional small groups are based around one dominant activity: talking.

And while that is a detriment to the Visual and Kinesthetic learners in your group, it makes people with an Auditory bent very, very happy. Consequently, don't be surprised if a large percentage of your group members are Auditory Learners.

That being the case, here are some activities to keep in mind for Auditory Learners:

Discuss, discuss, discuss. Most small groups are based on discussion, which is a big reason why small groups continue to grow in popularity. Continue giving your people chances to both talk and listen.
Read Scripture out loud. For some people, reading a Bible verse out loud is a terrifying experience. If that is true for you, it is usually not the case for auditory learners. So when your group is exploring a specific passage of Scripture, ask for volunteers to read the text out loud at least one time during the group meeting.
Pray out loud. The same idea applies here. Encourage group members to pray out loud if they would like to do so.
Sing and make music. Don't be afraid to give your group members a chance to verbally express their devotion to God through songs, responsive readings, and spontaneous prayer.

One Caution
Here's one final note about auditory learners: don't be too quick about labeling someone in your group as a person who "talks too much." While this certainly can become a real problem, oftentimes these "overtalkers" are just Auditory Learners who enjoy processing what they have heard in the discussion by speaking and reiterating.

So be sure to take a step back and ask yourself: "Does this person really have a problem, or is he/she just acting differently than I would?"

posted by Sam O'Neal at 2:12 PM on November 30, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

November 16, 2010

Learning Styles: A Look at Auditory Learners

A brief overview of the second VARK learning style.

by Sam O'Neal

Next up in our continuing series on the connection between learning styles and small groups: Auditory Learners. I'll give a brief overview of Auditory Learners in this post, and then we'll discuss how they fit into a small group later in the week.

(Also, remember that you can go to www.vark-learn.com to take a quick questionnaire and determine your dominant and secondary learning styles.)

Gimme an A!
People with an auditory learning style prefer to perceive information through their ears, and they often use their mouths to process that information. They like to have concepts and ideas explained to them, and they like to explain concepts and ideas to others. That's why they are big fans of lectures (both giving and receiving). They may also be gifted at public speaking.

Auditory learners thrive in discussion-based environments. They benefit from talking through what they have learned and what they are feeling, and they are generally good at listening to others. They also enjoy participating in and listening to debates.

Many auditory learners demonstrate a strong connection to music and sounds. They often have a good sense of rhythm and enjoy singing and playing an instrument.

A Few More Clues
Here are some other cues and clues that might help you identify an Auditory Learner:

If you ask an auditory learner for directions, she will explain in detail which roads you should take and which landmarks to watch for.
When an auditory learner orders food at a restaurant, he listens carefully when the server talks about the specials. He may also ask questions about different items on the menu.
Auditory learners often prefer to listen to music while reading.
Auditory learners often use these words and phrases: "I hear you," "that sounds right," "listen to me," "let me explain," and so on.

Again, stay tuned later in the week as we'll discuss how Auditory Learners typically feel in a small-group setting and what they need from you as a leader.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:20 AM on November 16, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

November 8, 2010

Learning Styles: D'oh!

My apologies for being so forgetful with something important.

by Sam O'Neal

As most of you know, we have been discussion learning styles and their impact on small groups. (Click here if you missed the Overview.)

Before moving into Auditory Learners, I just realized that I made a huge omission in the earlier posts—the Learning Styles Questionaire. I have had several people ask me things like: "I like to do such and such, so does that make me a visual learner?" But you don't have to evaluate learning styles based solely on observation. There is a simple and easy online questionnaire that will identify both your dominant and secondary learning styles.

Here's where to find it.

Use that link to identify your learning styles, and then we will get back into the discussion about small groups in a day or two.

In the meantime, please accept this video as my apology for the big omission. D'oh!

posted by Sam O'Neal at 10:00 AM on November 8, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

October 29, 2010

Visual Learners in Small Groups

Exploring how they feel and what they need.

by Sam O'Neal

Let's get back to our in-depth discussion on the impact of learning styles in small groups. Click here if you missed the overview of the VARK Learning Styles method, and click here to see an overview of the Visual Learning Style.

Right now I'd like to discuss how Visual Learners are impacted within a small group.

How They Feel
First things first—Visual Learners don't get much attention from traditional small groups. And it starts with curriculum.

Visual Learners love looking at charts, graphs, diagrams—any kind of image that visually organizes data and concepts. But very few small-group Bible studies include anything like that. Nor do many studies attempt to structure their material in a way that is visually interesting or organized.

The primary reason for this is that small groups are almost entirely based on talking. Think about it—fellowship, discussion, prayer requests, questions and answers, and even worship are based on talking. It's all ears and mouths, with no eyes.

That isn't to say that Visual Learners in your small group don't like talking, or that they can't learn through listening, or that they don't enjoy participating in a discussion. But it does mean that they could be more stimulated and would probably retain more of what they hear if your group included a wider variety of activities.

How to Help
That being the case, here are some ways you as a small-group leader can make Visual Learners more comfortable and more engaged:

Find visual aids. You need to make an effort to find visual aids that supplement whatever curriculum or Bible study your group is following. And if you can't find any, you can produce your own charts, graphs, diagrams—anything that puts a visual structure to facts and ideas. (Another good idea is to have your visual learners produce their own chart or diagram during the group meeting.)
Craft time. Visual learners enjoy expressing themselves artistically, so add an "arts and crafts" element to your small group every now and then. Bring in crayons and colored pencils and ask the group to draw something, or bring in Play Doh and have them sculpt something. Of course, it won't help to have them create something random—make sure it is connected to the group's topic of discussion.
Use multimedia. See if you can identify a movie clip or YouTube video that would effectively illustrate the concept or idea your group will be discussing. Or have your group members search for one on their iPhones during the discussion.
Emphasize the visual in Scripture. There are large portions of the Bible that are very visual—especially the Psalms, the Prophets, and apocalyptic texts like Revelation. When you notice a text that is heavy on visual elements, be sure to call them out. Make the visual nature of the verses be a large part of the discussion.

What about you? What other ideas or tips have you used to inspire and involve Visual Learners in your small group?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 12:00 PM on October 29, 2010 | Comments (3) | Trackbacks (0)

October 22, 2010

Learning Styles: Visual Learners

Get a detailed look at the visual learning style.

by Sam O'Neal

We are in the middle of an in-depth discussion on the impact of learning styles on small groups. Click here if you missed the overview of the VARK Learning Styles method, which is the one we'll be focusing on.

This post is focused on Visual Learners.

Gimme a V!
People with a visual learning style prefer to perceive information through their eyes. They like it when facts and ideas are organized visually into charts, graphs, diagrams, and maps. They often communicate their thoughts through similes and metaphors that rely on images—"I was as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs," for example.

Visual learners are also good at spatial recognition. They are aware of their physical surroundings and are able to visualize the layout of rooms and buildings. They are skilled at working with shapes and objects, even to the point of rotating and manipulating them in their mind's eye.

Visual learners often enjoy expressing themselves artistically through drawing, painting, sculpting, etc. If they are forced to sit and listen to a lecture or take notes, you may catch them doodling shapes and patterns on their paper, instead.

A Few More Clues
Here are some other cues and clues that may help you recognize a visual learner:

If you asked a visual learner for directions, he would probably draw you a map.
When a visual learner orders food at a restaurant, she prefers looking at the pictures on a menu, or at meals being eaten at the other tables.
Visual learners gravitate toward books with color illustrations and complicated diagrams.
Documents and presentations put together by a visual learner will use a wide variety of fonts, colors, images, and graphs.
A Bible owned by a visual learner may be highlighted in different colors as a method of taking notes.
Visual learners often use these words and phrases: "vision," "view," "I'm trying to visualize," "see the point," "draw up," and so on.

Stay tuned for the next post, where we'll discuss what visual learners need from a small group.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 8:35 AM on October 22, 2010 | Comments (5) | Trackbacks (0)

October 19, 2010

Little Help: Making Small Groups Fun

Help me plan out an upcoming resource for SmallGroups.com.

by Sam O'Neal

As you may or may not know, one of my jobs as the editor of SmallGroups.com is putting together downloadable training resources designed to assist churches and small-group leaders. (You can find them here, if you've never experienced one before.)

When I tell people about my job, one of the first questions they usually ask is, "So do you write all that stuff yourself?" Thankfully, the answer is no. We have a great team of people who love small groups and small-group ministry that I can call on to write most of the content in our training resources.

But I was thinking the other day that I do take on most of the planning for these downloads by myself. And I'm not sure that's a great idea—two minds being better than one, and all that.

So I'm going to do a little experiment on the blog here. One of the upcoming downloads I will be working on is called "Make Your Small Group Fun!" What we hope to accomplish is provide churches and small-group leaders with articles that explain the value of fun within a community experience, and also practical tips on how to incorporate fun into the groups themselves.

Here's what I have thought of so far:

A broad overview article on the value of fun in a small group.
An article on how to celebrate before the Lord and worship in a fun way.
An article with tips on how to inject fun into group discussions.
Ways to serve as a small group that are fun and exciting.

I'm still working on the rest of the content, but I thought: Why not open things up to the readers and see what they think?

So—what do you think? What is missing? What would you like to see in a resource that helps make small groups more fun? What are you doing well that you think could be taught/transferred to others?

If you have any opinions, just drop a note in the Comments section below. And then keep an eye out for this resource when it goes online!

posted by Sam O'Neal at 4:26 PM on October 19, 2010 | Comments (3) | Trackbacks (0)

October 6, 2010

The Four Stages of Group Development

Get a better understanding of what your group members are experiencing, and what they need.

by Sam O'Neal

Our newest featured download Evaluations for Small-Group Leaders is filled with great assessments and tools for groups and group leaders. One of my favorite is written by Carolyn Taketa, who talks about the four stages of development in all small groups.

Those stages are: 1) Forming, 2) Engaging, 3) Maturing, and 4) Transitioning.

Here is a brief overview of each one:

The Forming Stage. In the forming stage, people are connecting for the first time, checking out the group, and figuring out if this is a place where they can belong and grow. They are evaluating the leader, other members, the purpose of the group, and its expectations in order to determine whether this group will be worth their time and effort. The leader's prayers, preparations, and follow-up with potential members are vital at this stage. In addition, a welcoming, gracious, and encouraging environment where people have opportunities to get to know each other helps the group start off strong.
The Engaging Stage. In the engaging stage, group members are learning more about one another and starting to trust each other. Commitment to the group increases as friendships continue to grow. Members share increasingly more personal issues, support each other, and care for one another's needs. Unity is strengthened and a sense of "us" begins to emerge. As people become more open and authentic with one another in this stage, personality conflicts or clashes of opinions may arise. When such conflicts are handled with gentleness, truth, and grace, the group will be propelled to deeper levels of love for one another.
The Maturing Stage. In the maturing stage, members know and accept one another, recognizing the strengths and weaknesses of each person. The group is cohesive, mutual respect is high, and members are interdependent. Desire for personal spiritual growth and greater missional purpose drives the group's relationships and activities. The group goes "beyond itself" to reach out to nonbelievers and show God's love to those in need. Members regularly engage in spiritual disciplines and understand the role of the group in their spiritual development. The group consistently looks for ways to encourage and hold each other accountable in their commitments toward change.
The Transitioning Stage. In the transitional stage, the group begins to disband for any number of natural reasons (most of which are listed below). Group members reflect and rejoice over the ways God has used the group to help them grow and be a blessing to others. While some friendships will flourish beyond the group and others will end, the impact of the group on the members' lives will endure.

Interesting, huh? The nice thing about Carolyn's assessment in the aforementioned download is that it helps you identify what stage your group is in, but also whether or not your group is thriving in that stage.

And if you've made it this far, why not post a comment and let us know what stage you would guess your small group to be in?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 8:24 AM on October 6, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

September 20, 2010

Help Group Leaders Accomplish Less...

...In order to focus on what is really important.

by Sam O'Neal

I don't think I have mentioned this on the blog before, but I am currently writing a book for InterVarsity Press with the goal of providing basic training for small-group leaders. It's a great opportunity, and I've been having a lot of fun digging into the writing process.

I'll be blogging about my writing experiences every now and again for the next few months. I'll also be asking for a little help and advice from you, our faithful readers. (And several posts, like this one, will have a little of both.)

Pray More
One of the points I am trying to make early in the book is that small-group leaders need to focus more on spiritual preparation (things like praying for your group members and building your own connection with God) than physical preparation (things like cleaning the house, preparing a lesson, and so on).

We've had a good conversation going on SmallGroups.com regarding this issue with articles like A Small-Group Leader's Most Important Job, by Jim Egli. But in order for group leaders to have more time to pray, I think they need to spend less time working on the other tasks traditionally associated with leading a small group.

In other words, I think group leaders need to be less productive.

What Can We Give Up?
So the question becomes:

What tasks are you performing as a small-group leader that could be let go without damaging the group?

What chores and assignments are traditionally connected to leading a small group that are not really necessary when you stop and think about it?

What can you cut in order to spend more time spiritually preparing yourself to lead?

I've got a few ideas in mind that we can talk about later, but I would love to get your input on this issue.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 3:05 PM on September 20, 2010 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

September 16, 2010

Friday Flashback: Consumerism and Small Groups

Feeling the tension between servanthood and consumerism

by Dan Lentz

There's been a lot of talk about Western Christians viewing church with a consumer mindset. This is a mindset that is consumed with what I can get out of church or small group. A focus on having my needs met rather than meeting other needs.

Tom Stipe at the Xenos Summer Institute nailed it when he simplified this concept by saying consumerism, in the context of relationships, is when you are trying to extract happiness from one another. He said that mentality will kill a marriage, a friendship, a small group, and even a church.

Our goal in a small group, stated or not, should never be to extract happiness from one another. Rather Matt. 5:3 says, "Blessed (happy) are those who realize their need for him (God), for the Kingdom of Heaven is given to them."

You can help your group overcome the consumerism mindset by training them to have a desperate need for God and constantly practice serving others! There's no better time to put this into action than right now. Plan a service project or help someone you know with a specific need or serve the poor.

posted by Dan Lentz at 8:23 AM on September 16, 2010 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

September 14, 2010

Poll Time: Evaluation

Let's find out if group leaders are being assessed on a regular basis.

by Sam O'Neal

I am beginning the process of putting together an Assessment Pack for small-group leaders, and it has got me thinking. How many churches take the time and effor to evaluate their small-group leaders? Or how many group leaders evaluate themselves with the goal of improving weaknesses and maximizing strengths?

Maybe we can find out something useful this way:

If you have been evaluated as a group leader, is it a regular occurence? And how often does it happen?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:02 AM on September 14, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

August 26, 2010

Friday Flashback: Renewing our Small-Group Purpose

Stop "going to church" and start "being the church!"

by Dan Lentz

It’s always important to think about the purpose of small groups. Whenever I think about this issue, I almost always go back to examining the New Testament pattern of church to confirm the “why” of small groups.

Consider some of the history of the early church:

Though there's a lot we don't know about the early church, we can learn a lot from the New Testament, especially the letters of Paul. Paul uses the word "ekklesia," which from pre-Christian days meant "any gathering of a group of people," to refer to a gathering of people before God. The gatherings were usually small, probably 30 members on average, and the people often belonged to the same household or guild. Sometimes several such groups met together, but this was probably rare before the third century, when special buildings for Christian worship began to be constructed. Small groups of Christians met regularly for worship, encouragement, and instruction as early as the first decades of Christianity, but it's not quite accurate to call them "small groups" in the contemporary sense. These groups didn't think of themselves as the more personal, relational aspect of a larger church, as many small groups do now—they were the only church that members knew. (Taken from BuildingChurchLeaders.com “Ask Christian History”)

That last statement, for me, is the real key: "These groups didn't think of themselves as the more personal, relational aspect of a larger church, as many small groups do now—they were the only church that members knew." As we consider the early days of the church, it doesn’t make sense to see small groups (or whatever you want to call them) as the "what is missing, help people connect, add one more thing to my schedule" component of church. Instead, is it possible for all relational, purposeful gatherings of Christ-followers, whether small or large, to be simply looked at as just "being the church"?

If we could see church as not something that we do, so much as something we are, then the small-group gatherings (or large-group worship services, for that matter) would just be part of the natural expression of "being the church." And with that vision and purpose, small groups don’t become the forced add-on to what we now think of as "church." Rather, smaller gatherings are simply an expression of the overall organism of the Body of Christ. Then we can gain freedom from the purpose of "going to church" and replace it with the purpose of "being the church."

posted by Dan Lentz at 10:08 PM on August 26, 2010 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

August 17, 2010

Time to Pick Up Some Bible Studies

What curriculum options have been working well in your group?

by Sam O'Neal

As a small-group leader, I'm used to feeling the itch right about now. You know what I'm talking about—that little itch in the back of your mind that pops up in the middle of August and says, "We've got to find something good to study in our small group, and we've got to find it fast!"

Fortunately, I am set this year. My group has been going through the Book of Revelation, and we are going to pick up right where we left off back in June. But I know there are plenty of small-group leaders out there who have procrastinated and are now scrambling to find something deep, cheap, and understandable.

So tell us: What has been working in your small group? What Bible studies have you found on SmallGroups.com that were especially helpful in the past year? What printed studies have you come across in bookstores or online that you thought were well done? What books have you read that would make a great study for a small group?

Basically, lend a helping hand to those poor group leaders who, upon reading this, are just now starting to realize that they have to find something to study—and fast!

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:37 AM on August 17, 2010 | Comments (5) | Trackbacks (0)

August 11, 2010

Video of the Week: From the Digizine

Great encouragement and advice from Mark Batterson and Heather Zempel

by Sam O'Neal

Did you catch the video interview with Mark Batterson and Heather Zempel in the recent Small Groups Digizine? If not, never fear -- we have posted it below.

And of course, if you haven't seen the Digizine yet, click here to check it out—you don't want to miss it!

posted by Sam O'Neal at 8:58 AM on August 11, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

July 25, 2010

Poll Time: Biblical Interpretation

Which people in your church have the most influence when it comes to understanding and applying the Bible?

by Sam O'Neal

I've been thinking a lot recently about Biblical interpretation in the local church—namely, who are the people responsible for digging into the Bible to understand what it says (exegesis) and then apply the Bible's truths to our modern culture (hermeneutics).

Most churches in America have at least one full-time pastor who, on paper, is very well qualified to undertake the task of Biblical interpretation. Pastors have been to seminary, after all, and they spend hours every week studying the Word, right? Not to mention that huge library of books and commentaries in their office.

But churches also have several lay leaders who immerse themselves in Biblical interpretation—people like small-group leaders, Sunday school teachers, and so on. These folks are usually not trained on paper, yet they often have a lot of influence when it comes to the doctrines and practices accepted by the congregation.

I'm still trying to think through what all of this means, and how those realties impact Biblical interpretation in the local church. So, to help me out, please take the poll below and let me know which people are the primary drivers for Biblical interpretation in your church. In other words, which group of people have the most impact when it comes to the congregation understanding and applying the truths of the Bible?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 8:52 AM on July 25, 2010 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

July 14, 2010

Question: Small Groups and Smaller Churches

Can you have both?

by Sam O'Neal

I've been doing a good bit of research for the next training download that I'm putting together: "Launching Small Groups in a Smaller Church." But I keep running across a set of ideas that are slightly confusing to me, and I would love to hear some outside opinions.

Basically, several articles and book excerpts I have read regarding small groups in a smaller church seem to imply that you can't have small groups in a smaller church. The argument is usually stated this way: if you are able to successfully run a small-groups ministry inside of a smaller church, the church will grow and grow until it can no longer be considered small.

That's not such a bad idea to express, I guess. I'd like to think that a successful small-groups ministry would in fact help any church grow.

But those statements seem to have a more sinister undertone. Namely, that if you are currently part of a smaller church, then you cannot have a healthy small-group ministry. Even more, these lines of thinking seem to imply that smaller churches are a problem in and of themselves—that a small church is automatically an unhealthy church.

What do you think? Are those statements true? Am I right to be confused? And what can we say about the intersection between small groups and smaller churches?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 3:17 PM on July 14, 2010 | Comments (6) | Trackbacks (0)

June 22, 2010

Resource Alert: MarkHowellLive.com

Check out Mark Howell's "10 Essential Small-Group Leader Skills."

by Sam O'Neal

Just wanted to point all of you to a neat article available right now on Mark Howell's website, MarkHowellLive.com. Actually, it's a compilation of articles. The Ten Essential Small-Group Leader Skills, to be precise.

I recommend you take a look, because it will certainly be worth your time.

If you're not familiar with Mark Howell's website, it's a good one. Mark does a great job of writing about issues facing both small-group leaders and champions, and he posts something new (and free) every day. He also posts content specifically for small-group leaders from time to time, and he's collected the best of the best in the article compilation mentioned above.

So check it out.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 4:44 PM on June 22, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

June 16, 2010

Raise, Recognize or Both?

How will you empower the next generation of leaders in your small group?

by Dan Lentz

Summer gives us some pause to think about who might be the emerging leaders in our small groups—which people are ready to take the next step? Fore exampe, I have several people in my group that have been leading in many ways, but are not necessarily recognized "officially" as leaders.

There’s a wide variety of philosophies when it comes to "setting apart" leaders for the local church in general. In some cases, they are appointed or elected. In other cases they are apprenticed. And in some cases they volunteer (without qualification) based on some type of announcement or need.

But is there a "right" way to raise up or recognize new small-group leaders? How should they be set apart and accepted into service? Once again the variety of philosophies varies greatly, from "If they can breath, they can lead" (or if they can read a study guide or press a DVD button, they can lead) to requiring hours of training and on-the-job experience before a person can lead. And everything in-between. To make things more confusing, we’ve all known a person who didn’t carry the title of “leader,” or wasn’t elected or appointed to the position of leader, but we would say without hesitation, “they are a leader.”

Continue reading Raise, Recognize or Both?...

posted by Dan Lentz at 12:36 PM on June 16, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

June 15, 2010

Do Participation Percentages Matter?

A few questions about a recent report from Leadership Network

by Sam O'Neal

I recently came across an article from Leadership Network called Breaking the 50 percent Barrier, which gives advice on "How to increase small-group participation in your church."

Here is one of the sentences that caught my attention at the beginning: "Leadership Network invited several innovative small groups pastors to explain how they have broken the mythical—and for some churches, seemingly impenetrable—50 percent participation barrier." I was a little surprised, because I had never heard of this mythical barrier. I am aware that several churches and models proclaim a goal of 100 percent participation in small groups. I've heard North Coast Church (one of the churches profiled in the article) talk about their 80 percent participation rate. But I didn't know that 50 percent was a magic number.

But that's just a minor thought. The important question that I have been chewing on for several minutes this morning is this: What is the benefit of keeping track of attendance percentages? And that's a legitimate question, not a sarcastic airing of my opinion. I am honestly curious why churches spend the amount of time and energy they do on tracking attendance numbers and small-group participation.

Any thoughts? As group leaders, do you have to turn in attendance reports? How often? Does your church put a lot of emphasis on the percentage of people that are part of the small-group ministry? What reasons do they give?

Just curious. :)

posted by Sam O'Neal at 8:22 AM on June 15, 2010 | Comments (8) | Trackbacks (0)

June 10, 2010

Prepping for Small Group Gatherings

Have you evaluated your preparation routine lately?

by Dan Lentz

Like many small groups, our group is not meeting as routinely during the summer (we are meeting once or twice per month during the summer and doing more service/outreach/fellowship when we are together). It’s during times like this that I am reminded about my own preparation routines prior to small group gatherings. When we are meeting every week, I don’t think about my preparation routine so much as I "just do it." But after a break from the routine, it gives me the opportunity to evaluate the way I prepare for our small group gatherings.

Am I praying enough? Have I connected with our group members in between our regular gatherings? Do I have a purpose in mind for our next group gathering? Have I prepared the agenda sufficiently to know what we will do and yet still be sensitive to the Spirit’s leading? Is it time to remind our group of our vision (to reach out, to multiply, etc.)?

There are many "things" to consider when preparing for gatherings. It's helpful from time to time to consider what those "things" need to be. Small Group Consultant Jim Egli has a blog where he shares many ideas for small groups. In one of his older entries he shares some of his own small group preparation and thoughts about small group ministry. I would encourage you to check it out.

Take the opportunity this summer to consider your group gathering preparation routine and take it to a new level in the Fall of 2010!

posted by Dan Lentz at 8:19 AM on June 10, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

June 2, 2010

The True Battle for Christian Community

Giving the Holy Spirit full sway to release our appetite for the Father

by Dan Lentz

One of my favorite authors and speakers is Larry Crabb. I’ve heard him speak on several occasions, and his definition of spiritual community is one of the most powerful ideals he shares. He defines Christian community this way:

“Reaching with supernatural community power into the depths of another person’s heart so that the evil in our hearts that rules so often unrecognized in how we relate is clearly identified and exposed as hateful and that the Holy Spirit is given full sway to release our appetite for the Father.”

There’s a lot in that statement. He expands on this statement further by saying the real battle to maintain community is helping one another overcome the suspicion that God is not good and that I need to take over. Sometimes we recognize that easily, other times we don’t. One of the main purposes of Christian community in our small groups is to help encourage one another as we face skirmishes in that battle.

Part of helping one another is walking with one another through trials of all kinds. We need to help one another see that God often allows us to go through things that are very crushing and discouraging in order to get us to the point where we are hopeless and helpless before Him. At that point, we can know there is nowhere else we can turn but to the Lord. However, going through that process alone can be very discouraging and create bitterness rather than growth. That’s why we absolutely need Christian community in order to truly grow. Where else can people really get into healthy growth processes other than in some type of intentional small group?

posted by Dan Lentz at 6:15 PM on June 2, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 28, 2010

Friday Flashback: On Time

Quick words of wisdom on starting and stopping each gathering

by Rick Howerton

Start group meetings on time or you’re punishing those who did right.
Start group meetings on time or the majority of group members will start showing up late.
Start group meetings on time or you won’t be able to end them on time.

End group meetings on time or some group members will have to deal with angry baby sitters.
End group meetings on time or some group members will walk out before the meeting ends.
End group meetings on time or some group members will leave the group for good.

When the Holy Spirit is doing something special… stay as long necessary.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 6:09 AM on May 28, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 25, 2010

Growing or Dying Revisited

Moving from a self-focused to an others-focused ministry mentality

by Dan Lentz

I want to follow-up a bit from the discussion on my last post, “You are Either Growing or Dying” The premise of this blog entry is that if a small group is continually focused internally, and never actively reaching out beyond themselves to serve and invite new participants, then that group is on a course toward death. With that said, I also believe the central issue in the group health vs. group outreach discussion revolves more around values than results.

For instance, my current small group has remained nearly static for over a year. We basically have the same people we had a year ago at this time. I constantly ask myself the questions: Are we healthy? Or are we on a death spiral? Should we just blow the thing up and do something new?

While I’m not quite ready to state that our current condition is one of complete health, I do know that our values run both internal and external. Over the course of this past year, as we’ve met for the benefit and growth of one another, we’ve also maintained a prayer list specifically for people we are reaching out to. We’ve had a few “outreach parties” where we’ve invited unchurched friends to enjoy game nights and movie nights with our small-group members. We’ve done service projects for folks with special needs outside our church, and we’ve maintained relational contact with many of these folks.

So the question is, over the past year, have any of these activities resulted in a new committed member of our small group? The honest answer is NO. But, the love of Christ continues to spill out of the group onto other people. And our value is that we will continue to keep our group vessel tipped enough to keep Christ’s love flowing out from ourselves to others.

I will close with another analogy: Our small groups are like airport runways—necessary for takeoff, but in order to fly you have to go beyond the runway at some point. Otherwise people start thinking they are airport baggage carts when in reality they are airplanes. It's a tragic loss of identity. Others-focused ministry has a unique power to remind us of our identity as disciples of Christ, not consumers of religious goods and services.

posted by Dan Lentz at 11:41 PM on May 25, 2010 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

May 17, 2010

You are Either Growing or Dying

Can your group stay healthy if it is not regularly adding new people?

by Dan Lentz

I was reviewing an online forum on the topic of churches transitioning to small-group ministry being led by Steve Cordle.

One of the most insightful quotes from the forum was:
“Many leaders speak about groups as a way to build community. However, groups which are focused on fellowship, sharing, and community generally will have a hard time attracting more than a minority of believers, will lose vitality, and fade away. Groups must have an outward focus in order to stay healthy.”

Carl George has also been quoted as saying: "Show me a nurturing group not regularly open to new life, and I will guarantee it's dying."

These are sobering ideas from people who have been in the trenches of small-group ministry for decades. From my experience, I believe they are correct. After all, Biblical community isn’t really community if it is not impacting the world outside the group (John 17). Successful group outreach is a fruit of that outward impact and a sign of group health.

Does your experience confirm or contradict that? What do you think?

posted by Dan Lentz at 11:50 AM on May 17, 2010 | Comments (9) | Trackbacks (0)

May 13, 2010

What a Small-Group Leader Should Be

I'm all for continuing an important discussion.

by Sam O'Neal

We had some good conversation generated from my last post about What a Small-Group Leader Is Not. So I figured: why stop there? Here are a few more thoughts from the same article, this time about how small-group leaders should view themselves (and what they should do because of it).

So, what is the primary focus that small-group leaders should adopt? The answer is that of a spiritual safari guide. That will need some explaining, I know, but first give some thought to the following two principles of small-group leadership:

Principle 1: Small-group leaders are to be most concerned about the spiritual transformation of their group members. Everything else involved with leading a small group—recruiting new members, choosing Bible studies, resolving conflict—are secondary issues and should be subordinate to the spiritual growth of the people involved. If people gather together to enjoy each other's company, eat good food, sing songs, maybe do a service project, but don't grow closer to Jesus Christ as a result, they have only created a Christianized version of a Kiwanis Club. Not a small group.

Principle 2: Small-group leaders are never able to manufacture spiritual transformation within their group members. This is something that small-group leaders must understand. We cannot force our group members to grow spiritually any more than we could force them to grow taller. No matter how good we become at facilitating discussion questions, resolving conflict, and making nachos, our people will not become more like Jesus unless they are carried there by the Holy Spirit.

These two principles seem contradictory, at first. If small-group leaders are primarily tasked with a job that only the Holy Spirit can fulfill, how can they lead well? The answer is relatively simple: group leaders need to create environments and experiences that allow group members to connect with the Holy Spirit.

And that's what I mean when I talk about small-group leaders as spiritual safari guides.
Can you imagine a safari where the guide spent all of your time talking about flora and fauna instead of actually taking you into the jungle? Or encouraged the tour members to discuss what they felt a rhinoceros might look and sound like, rather than leading everyone to an actual specimen? Or took off his binoculars and said, "Don't ask me where to go; I'm as lost as the rest of you."

Such is the folly of a small-group leader who does not lead—who does not bring his or her group members into the presence of the Holy Spirit by directing expeditions into the mysteries of God's Word, the elements of Truth in this world, and the life stories of other people.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 10:31 AM on May 13, 2010 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

May 11, 2010

What a Small-Group Leader Is Not

I have a feeling I may take some heat for this post...

by Sam O'Neal

As part of a download I'm working on called "Leading a Life-Changing Bible Study," I'm writing up an article on the topic of what it means to be a small-group leader. And for part of that article I try to define what a small-group leader is not.

Here's the list I came up with. A small-group leader is not:

A teacher. We all understand that small-group leaders should not be lecturers who monopolize the group's time by spewing out facts and opinions. But I use the word teacher here intentionally in order to highlight an important misconception: many group leaders believe that the focus of their group's study time should be the transfer of information. They feel that a study is successful if their group members have learned something. But that is not the case, as we will see later in the article.

Just another group member. This is the opposite of the "group leader as professor" approach, but it's just as harmful. Many churches like to teach that their group leaders are no different than group members because they want to communicate that group members are just as important and valuable as group leaders—which is true. But being equal in terms of worth and value does not mean that people have to adopt the same roles and functions. The reality is that a small group with no leader will rarely move forward.

A host. This has become a popular re-definition of what it means to be a small-group leader in recent years, primarily due to the influence of video curriculum. The idea is that a person or couple can host a small group in their home, pop in a DVD, and let a "professional" handle the task of leading the group into meaningful experiences with truth. But there is one major flaw inherent in this method of "leading" a small group: a DVD cannot respond to the movement of the Holy Spirit. What happens when a group members is convicted of sin during the discussion and begins weeping? Who calls the group to prayer when group members confess to being in danger of losing their house or their marriage? These situations require a leader who can take control and help the group follow the Spirit.

A facilitator. Many churches want their group leaders to think of themselves as facilitators, rather than leaders. This is done to combat the "small-group leader as professor" problem referred to earlier, but it creates several problems of its own. Just as viewing group leaders primarily as teachers elevates learning over transformation, viewing them as facilitators elevates discussion over transformation. A study session is deemed successful if the group had a good conversation and a high level of participation, rather than basing the criteria for success on interaction with the Holy Spirit and seeing lives changed.

Obviously, I'm not saying that small-group leaders should not demonstrate these qualities. Quite the opposite—group leaders should be able to facilitate discussion, host a gathering, and teach when necessary. But I think that churches go wrong when they make any of these skills the primary focus of a group leader's role.

What do you think? Am I wrong about any of these? Can you think of other misconceptions when it comes to the primary role and focus of small-group leaders?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 3:52 PM on May 11, 2010 | Comments (11) | Trackbacks (0)

May 5, 2010

How Do We Assess Spiritual Growth?

A great excerpt from noted author and speaker Dallas Willard

by Sam O'Neal

Below is an excerpt of an interview with Dallas Willard recently conducted by our sister magazine Leadership Journal. You can read the whole interview here, which I highly recommend.

How can churches know if they are being effective at making disciples?
Many churches are measuring the wrong things. We measure things like attendance and giving, but we should be looking at more fundamental things like anger, contempt, honesty, and the degree to which people are under the thumb of their lusts. Those things can be counted, but not as easily as offerings.

Why don't more churches gauge these qualities among their people?
First of all, many leaders don't want to measure these qualities because what they usually discover is not worth bragging about. We'd rather focus on institutional measures of success. Secondly, we must have people who are willing to be assessed in these ways. And finally, we need the right tools to measure spiritual formation. There are some good tools available like Randy Frazee's Christian Life Profile and Monvee.com, which John Ortberg likes.

In the past people grew through relationships with spiritual mentors and by engaging the church community. Is there a danger that these individual assessment tools will remove the role of community in formation?
Any of these devices must be used in a community setting. Assessment tools that work best are a combination of self-assessment and the assessment of a significant other who knows you well. They don't work with people who don't want to be assessed, and they should not be administered like individual personality tests that some employers use.

If you have a group of people come together around a vision for real discipleship, people who are committed to grow, committed to change, committed to learn, then a spiritual assessment tool can work. But there must be a deep fellowship of trust to support that work. I don't think any group should go into an assessment without that. I wouldn't advise a pastor to use one of these tools on his or her congregation without first establishing a clear commitment to discipleship. You can't take your average congregation and just lay one of these assessments on them.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 6:00 AM on May 5, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 4, 2010

Putting a Bow on the Heresy Discussion

Let's get some empirical data before we move on from this topic.

by Sam O'Neal

We've had some great discussion about heresy in recent weeks. Specifically, Neil Cole wrote an article called Addressing the Threat of Heresy in House Churches and Small Groups which had a lot of interesting things to say, and then I wrote a blog post responding to some of Neil's points.

I thought it might be cool to finish up this discussion with a little empirical data. So, I have cued up a couple poll questions that I hope you will take a moment to answer.

First, I'm wondering how many of you have been in a church where heresy actually attacked and poisoned a small group? I'm not talking about a group member who thinks that good deeds will get him into heaven and is then corrected. I'm talking about a situation where the group actively explored and adopted a heretical belief that ultimately caused damage—group members left the church, significant conflict ensued, etc.

So, let's start with that question:

Continue reading Putting a Bow on the Heresy Discussion...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 10:39 AM on May 4, 2010 | Comments (5) | Trackbacks (0)

April 21, 2010

Small Groups as Mission Centers (Part 2)

Your small group is already in a culturally diverse mission field!

by Dan Lentz

In part 1 of this blog, I talked about how changing people’s attitude and perspective is step one in small groups becoming mission centers. Not only should small groups be the most strategic place to reach micro-cultures on their relational “turf,” but small groups have the potential to open up new local mission fields to churches in rapidly changing neighborhoods. Consider the following data from a MSNBC news story:

“The majority of residents in Texas, California, New Mexico, Hawaii and Washington, D.C., are some ethnicity other than non-Hispanic whites, according to Census Bureau population estimates released last week. Five other states, including New York and Georgia, could make that shift this year. Soon, more than one-third of Americans will live in states where Latinos, blacks, Asians, American Indians and other ethnic groups outnumber whites.”

Churches that have limited budgets or lack of vision for supporting overseas missions, or the inability to send short-term mission teams into other countries, may be able to support and send members “down the street” to reach out to other cultural groups that are within easy reach of the church’s “footprint.” They may be able to do this by simply offering a small group community to those of a different ethnic culture in their region, or who are far from biological family and yearn for relationships.

The good news about this approach is that it doesn’t require a resource-intensive bi-lingual worship service to be planned and scheduled. On the other hand, it does require a leader or facilitator who is able to communicate potentially in a different language, but those barriers aren’t as daunting as perhaps they once were with the increased availability of multi-lingual folks in our local congregations.

In any case, with the shift happening in this country, the opportunities for small groups to be mission centers are quite amazing. Have any of you tried starting small groups to reach out to other ethnicities?

posted by Dan Lentz at 8:04 AM on April 21, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

April 15, 2010

Small Groups as Mission Centers (Part 1)

Reaching out to the Micro-Cultures in your back yard!

by Dan Lentz

There’s been a lot of talk about how fragmented Western Culture is, even within small geographical areas. Not only does the Local Church need to consider how to reach their neighborhood, they need to consider how to reach micro-cultures within that neighborhood. In some ways the local church has been doing that for years through generational programming (youth, young singles, family, seniors, etc.), but now in many areas diversity has increased beyond generational micro-cultures to include ethnic, religious background, heritage micro-cultures and much more.

Can small groups reach out to all these micro-cultures? I think so. In fact, many small groups are a micro-culture themselves that can reach others in the same or similar micro-culture. I was reading a quote from Ken Davis recently that reminded me of this:

“After one of my comedy concerts, I was accosted by a scowling woman who looked like she just swallowed a profusely sweating toad. “Why don’t you just present the gospel like it is in the Bible?” she screeched. “The Gospel doesn’t need any of your silly entertainment. It stands on its own.” She is right. “The word of God is more powerful than a two edged sword.” But the people who need to hear it are not reading that Word. And they will only listen if the presentation of that Word holds their attention. I asked this woman, who obviously had been sleeping when the gift of encouragement was passed out, “Does your church have missionaries?” Yes, she answered. "Do they go away to train to be missionaries?" Yes! “What kind of training do they get?”
Her answer was quick and defensive. “They are trained to present the Gospel in the context of the culture.” The words were barely out of her mouth when she realized she had just buried herself. We live in a postmodern culture that is saturated with entertainment and humor. If we are to reach that culture with the message of the Gospel, our presentation has to be delivered in an engaging and attractive manner.”

It’s not that we have to use entertainment or humor or clever programs in small groups to be effective, because the power of small groups lies in the relationships of the group—with Christ and with each other. But we do have to speak the relational language of the people we are trying to reach, and for that reason small groups may be the most effective way to reach the micro-cultures all around us.

What do you think? Are there any micro-cultures represented in your group? Your neighborhood and/or church?

posted by Dan Lentz at 6:00 AM on April 15, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

April 7, 2010

Sabbath or Stagnation?

Which one is happening in your group right now?

by Dan Lentz

After Easter, spring quickly unwinds into summer, and in many churches/small groups there is a collective exhale as some volunteer intensive programs surrounding Easter and the Winter/Spring season wrap up.

In times like these, the need for a little “Sabbath” is natural and even healthy. But sometimes I sense that what we might label as Sabbath is really more about stagnation.

Perhaps you’ve had that feeling in the past, or maybe, like me, you are feeling it now. It’s not a unique problem; almost every group will encounter it eventually. In my own group, I have found it difficult to put my finger on the source of the stagnation. What is it that causes us to grind to a halt in our growth and in our community development this time of year?

Tom Bandy wrote an article that I think gets at the heart of problem for many of us at times. The article is written about stagnation in the larger church, but can just as easily be applied to small groups. I want to share an excerpt with you, so every place you read the word “church,” think small groups:

The problem is that this flow of experience continually breaks down. Churches lose momentum. They get stuck. The church starts out like a rave, with everybody dancing and the beat thumping, but after awhile you look out to see a nearly empty dance floor. The people are all huddled at tables with their friendship circles; newcomers are leaning against a wall hoping somebody will invite them to dance; the chaperones are drinking punch; and the band keeps playing the same tunes, oblivious to the room. The few people who are dancing applaud wildly, self-consciously wondering if all the watchers are criticizing their technique. What happened?
Most disciple-making processes break down because the staff, board, and core volunteers focus more on programs than on people. They are thinking more about getting tasks done than on growing people up. They are thinking more about mission results than missionary processes. They assume that the flow of experience in which people change dancing partners, learn new dance steps, and throw themselves onto the dance floor will happen automatically (or that the Holy Spirit will just do it).

I believe there is a lot of truth in this analysis for small-group leaders. Even in groups, we can get sidetracked with getting the group tasks done or the curriculum selected and finished (the program), rather than on growing the people. I definitely feel this drift in my own group experience right now.

Rather than trying to think about what is not happening in the mechanics of my group right now, I’m going to try and think and pray about the people in my group more through the rest of the spring. How about you?

posted by Dan Lentz at 9:24 AM on April 7, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 29, 2010

Spiritual Growth vs. Group Size

Is just meeting together enough, or do we need the right kind of meetings?

by Dan Lentz

I was reviewing some conference content from www.midsizegroups.com, which sponsors the Biannual ABF Conference. At one recent ABF Conference, church consultant Bob Gilliam spoke about his research that shows there is little correlation between the amount of spiritual growth (based on stages Jesus’ disciples went through) and the length of time a person has been attending church worship services.

His point was that if our “main” church activity is not producing changed disciples of Jesus Christ, then we better start putting more emphasis on activities that do produce changed lives. His encouragement to church leaders was to see mid-sized groups and small groups as both being integral to church health and spiritual growth. He defined mid-sized groups (ABF’s, Sunday Schools, Community Groups, etc.) as groups of less than 70 people, and small groups as less than 17 people.

An insight for churches significantly larger than 70-100 adults was to include opportunities for regular mid-size groupings with people of similar affinities (age, life-stage, geography, etc.). In their spiritual journey, people crave the close relational intimacy that small groups can provide, but they also desire to have an identity with a unified group of people that fellowship together regularly. In smaller churches, that affinity group may be the worship service itself (which is why some smaller churches don’t instinctively seem to want to grow beyond their existing affinity—they naturally feel comfortable in their current circle of fellowship).

In medium-sized to large churches, where large, diverse worship services exist, small groups are often seen as the missing component. But it may also be important to recognize that adding a strategy of affinity-based mid-size groups along with small groups (even diverse or intergenerational small groups) may also create a better overall environment for spiritual growth. All these grouping factors in concert with strong leadership and a clear vision seem to have impact on the amount of spiritual growth evidenced in churches.

I’m curious if anyone else has come to a similar conclusion in their situation??

posted by Dan Lentz at 10:57 AM on March 29, 2010 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

March 24, 2010

Your Spiritual Growth Plan

Developing life in the Spirit is a customized process.

by John Ortberg

Note: This is a preview of an article written by John Ortberg for Leadership Journal. It has very real application for small groups, so we encourage you to give the full article a read by clicking the link below.

A man I'll call Paul (because that's actually his name) told me he recently started going to church. In his mid-seventies, with no faith background, he woke up one morning with a sudden urge to hear the pope, and that launched him on a journey that led a few months later to a Presbyterian church and then to a commitment to follow Jesus. Every week he comes to church and marvels at all he gets to learn about prayer and worship and faith.

A man I'll call Ralph (not his real name) told me recently how he stopped going to church. I have known him for decades. He is a well-known pastor and speaker. He still believes in God. He meets with some like-minded friends on Sunday evening to talk and pray together. But he got burned out on the local church—it came to feel to him like a relentless drive for numbers and success and program and hype. He told me that the people in his little house group are long-time church people, most of them former church staff members.

Paul and Ralph exemplify a dynamic just beneath the surface in many churches. People who are new to the church often grow the quickest and appreciate it the most. But people who have been around a while, those who know the church best and have served the longest, often feel the least helped and the most used.

This was confirmed by the Reveal study. It found that at a certain point of spiritual development, increased involvement in church activities ceases to correlate to perceived spiritual growth.

So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore became a best-seller and launched a national conversation. David Kinnaman released a study from the Barna Group that found that most people believed spiritual growth consists of trying hard to follow the rules in the Bible, which meant that people said (not surprisingly) they don't grow because they lack motivation.

Those of us who work in churches do it because we believe in the power of God to change lives: "we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is Christ" (Eph. 3:15).

When that does not happen, we begin to die a little, even if the church is increasing numerically. Of course, we can't make growth happen. But just as doctors do with children when their growth is stunted, we can look for the conditions that lead best to growth, and ask if they're present in our churches. I'm thinking a lot these days about why many churches aren't growth-nurturing communities. Often it's the wrong message, the wrong measure, and the wrong means.

Click here to continue reading on LeadershipJournal.net.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 7:00 AM on March 24, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 22, 2010

Making Your Small Group Sustainable for the Future

Two problems that plague movements and small groups

by Dan Lentz

I’m still processing through the information that came out of New Hope Fellowship’s DCAT Conference I attended last month. From a workshop with Wayne and Aaron Cordeiro, came this nugget:

There are two problems that continually plague and stall small groups:

Problem #1 - Losing the 2nd Generation
If done with the right Biblical community values and Spirit-empowered leadership, small groups can start off fast and energized. The problem then becomes failing to get the next generation, the next wave of leaders and group members to embrace the vision and values of the first generation.

More relational energy and time needs to be spent intentionally passing on the DNA of Biblical community to all the members of your small group. If you focus on perfecting the leadership of the current leaders, or you only focus on instilling DNA to your current and perhaps apprentice leaders, you will quickly lose the next generation. You must start emphasizing the right values and vision to all group members the first day they are in the group and never stop. (By the way, these same principles also apply to parenting as demonstrated by Wayne and Aaron Cordeiro who were father and son workshop presenters.)

Problem #2- Passing the Baton of Leadership off Too Late.
Current leadership needs to let the next people up lead earlier rather than later. Even once you hand off the tasks of leadership, it can take years to pass the heart of the baton. Meaning, it takes years for the heart and experience of leading to catch up with the tasks of leading.

That puts more urgency on getting the baton passed sooner rather than later. Even if you don’t think someone is quite ready to lead, start taking small steps to give them leadership experience—leading an ice breaker, leading a prayer time, following up on a member who was missing from a group gathering, etc.

Even if you occasionally experience dropped batons when passed early, the experience of failure can be a valuable learning tool in the hands of a loving and nurturing senior leader or coach.

posted by Dan Lentz at 10:57 AM on March 22, 2010 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

March 8, 2010

Placement vs. Recruitment

Is there a right way to get people into small groups?

by Dan Lentz

Over time, I’ve been monitoring the discussion around whether it is better to have centralized placement of people in small groups, or have group leaders recruit their own group members. The other option is a hybrid model where people are placed in a medium-size group setting and then recruited into small groups (i.e. connection events, etc). Regardless, it’s interesting to consider the various strategies and their outcomes.

Several things have brought this issue to increased relevance in recent years. In particular, small-group campaigns and geographical strategies have caused us to evaluate small-group growth and outreach all over again.

As I think about the recent history of the small group movement, I believe that in the past, many small group ministries leaned toward a decentralized model of getting people into groups—where groups primarily recruited there own members. The result, particularly in growing churches, was that small groups’ numerical involvement could not keep pace with weekend worship growth. Having group members recruit their own, organically, just couldn't keep pace. Granted, small groups in these churches tended to be more stable and long-term, although many of these groups experienced growth stagnation because they lost the vision and mission to reach new people and to multiply new groups.

Continue reading Placement vs. Recruitment...

posted by Dan Lentz at 1:13 PM on March 8, 2010 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

March 4, 2010

LiveBooking: Cheap Grace

Reading through chapter 1 of The Cost of Discipleship

by Sam O'Neal

Today we'll look at Chapter 1 of The Cost of Discipleship, by Dietrich Bonheoffer. As a reminder, you can get a free audio download of the book this month at ChristianAudio.com. The coupon code is MAR2010.

Cheap Grace, Costly Grace
One of my favorite themes from this book comes out right at the beginning—it's the idea of cheap grace versus costly grace. The first line of the book says, "Cheap grace is the deadly enemy of the church. We are fighting today for costly grace.".

Here's what Bonheofffer says about the first type of grace: "Cheap grace means grace sold on the market like Cheap Jack's wares. The sacraments, the forgiveness of sin, and the consolations of religion are thrown away at cut prices. Grace is represented as the church's inexhaustible treasury, from which she showers blessings with generous hands—without asking questions or fixing limits. It is grace without price; grace without cost."

Man, that hits home. I know that kind of grace fits very well with the type of casual Christianity that is prevalent in the church of our culture. But I wish it didn't also describe the way I so often try to wheedle my way into feeling spiritual or "close to God."

On the other side of the coin, here is how Bonheoffer describes costly grace: "Costly grace is the treasure hidden in the field. For the sake of it a man will gladly go and sell all that he has. It is the pearl of great price, to buy which the merchant will sell all his goods. It is the kingly rule of Christ, for whose sake a man will pluck out the eye which causes him to stumble. It is the call of Jesus Christ, at which the disciple leaves his nets and follows him. Costly grace is the gospel which must be sought again and again, the gift which must be asked for, the door at which a man must knock.

"Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life. It is costly because it condemns sin, and grace because it justifies the sinner. Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his son. "Ye were born at a price."
And what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us."

Now that's the kind of relationship with God that we are all called to!

Grace and Small Groups
So as we think about the idea of costly grace versus cheap grace, I wonder where small groups come in? Below are a series of questions that I've been thinking for the past day or so, and unfortunately I don't have many answers. But maybe we can help each other figure some out?

1. Are there ways in which small groups contribute to the notion of cheap grace? How?
2. What role can small groups play in helping people make the sacrifice for costly grace?
3. How does the struggle between cheap and costly grace play into the process of discipleship?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 10:13 AM on March 4, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 2, 2010

LiveBooking: The Cost of Discipleship

Take advantage of a free audio download so we can explore Bonheoffer's classic book together.

by Sam O'Neal

I'm very excited to begin our next session of LiveBooking, but first I need to apologize to all of you for the inactivity on this blog over the past several days. I got pretty swamped here at work, but things have evened out a bit now and there will be regular content updates here in the weeks and months to come.

Starting with our newest LiveBooking tour, which will be exploring The Cost of Discipleship, by Deitrich Bonheoffer. (By the way, if you're confused about what I mean by "LiveBooking," think of the Liveblogging sessions you've seen people do at conferences and other big events. But for books.)

Here's the coolest news in this post: you can download a free audio version of The Cost of Discipleship right now through Christianaudio.com. Just click here to see the book's page, add it to your shopping cart, and use the coupon code Mar2010.

The download occurs as seven separate files, and so I will be blogging about each section over the next seven weeks, starting tomorrow. So stay tuned!

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:15 AM on March 2, 2010 | Comments (4) | Trackbacks (0)

February 26, 2010

Poor Meeting Agendas

Why people don't like meetings (and maybe small groups!)

by Dan Lentz

I have sat through countless meetings: church board meetings, committee meetings, work-place meetings, and civic organization meetings. Most of these meetings had one thing in common—agendas or lack there of. Agendas are those lists of topics, activities, ideas, or information that needed to be known, talked about, approved, disapproved, or tabled for later discussion.

I mostly don’t look forward to meetings because many meetings seem to easily get off track, involve the wrong people, or misuse people’s time. Apparently, I’m not alone. In an MSNBC article about work-place meetings this dilemma shows itself to be common in most meetings. Here’s a quote from this article about a typical staff meeting: “First, around 25 people attend, of which about half are (the bosses); the rest are the support staff, who don't all need to be there. Second, there's no agenda or specific purpose. Instead, the facilitator asks everyone what they've done throughout the week. The ‘bosses’ dominate the meeting, competing about who worked harder. Finally, the meeting tends to go over its allotted time.”

That’s pretty typical of church meetings also in my experience.

In a past blog entry, I talked about how decisions made during meetings are also prone to problems. I don’t know about you, but I can get to the point where I could be convinced that meetings don’t serve a very productive purpose much of the time.

Continue reading Poor Meeting Agendas...

posted by Dan Lentz at 10:36 PM on February 26, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

February 10, 2010

Catch the Conversation: Why Small Groups Don't Work

You've got a chance to explore and respond to an interesting article series by Geoff Surratt.

by Sam O'Neal

I just wanted to let everyone know that there is a very interesting conversation happening on Geoff Surratt's blog this week. The subject under discussion is: Why Small Groups Don't Work.

Geoff's overall argument seems to be that: 1) He is a big fan of small groups, and 2) He is havign some doubts about the way small groups have been running in his church (and the rest of America, by extension) for the past several years. Geoff has posted three entries on the topic so far this week, and he has promised a couple more items for Thursday and Friday. I've added some comments with my own opinions, and there is an overall interesting discussion going on.

Oh, and if you're not familiar with Geoff Surratt, he is the Pastor of Ministries at SeaCoast Church in Charleston, South Carolina. SeaCoast has been a pioneer in the multi-site movement and several other projects along the cutting edge of ministry.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:50 AM on February 10, 2010 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

February 9, 2010

Words, Triggers, and Trampolines

If you use words that trigger genuine emotions and honest comments you, need to be able to bounce back.

by Rick Howerton

I tweeted nine words: "Silent small-group members are conversational parasites devouring synergy."

That triggered genuine emotions, which triggered honest words:
I think it's easy in our church culture of "small groups being the end-all be-all" to place the Group above the Individuals in the group. Even as much as some churches focus on small groups, it's even more important to see the individuals for what they are; not as just parts of a group. It reminds me of what Amy Grant said about her marriage to Gary Chapman years ago: "God did not create individuals for marriage; but marriage for individuals." I think, in the same way, God created the church body for people; he did not create people just to have a Church body.

I hope this comes from a poster and not from your head or heart, and still I wonder why you would post it as yours without comment on it's ungodliness.

"Rick, I've been thinking about your conversation all day, regarding "parasites" in small group. And I thought, "Well, what else would an obstinate person contribute to a group relationship?" Would they really be parasitical to a group? So I wikipediaed "symbiotic" relationships to research the other ecological types of relationships other than parasitical. Out of all the options, I think parasites best describes the obstinate group member. "A parasitic relationship is one in which one member of the association benefits while the other is harmed."

These came flooding in like a tsunami on Twitter and Facebook.

These were just a few of the comments. Obviously, my nine words triggered a plethora of wonderful opinions and emotions. (Evidently it's not wise to infer that people are parasites.) This can happen during a small-group meeting or in any conversation. When it does, you need to bounce back.

How to bounce back
Apologize for the terminology you used, tell the group what you were trying to say, then reword your statement. Realize this: It may take some people a while to get over it, some will wonder why you said anything at all, some will tell you you didn't need to apologize, some will sulk with a brazen stare, and others will remind you of our mishap often.

But the bottom line is that once you've apologized, you've done all you can do. If you let this rest in your heart it will make you a less effective leader.

What are some other ways to diffuse tension in a room when you've created it?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 6:08 AM on February 9, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 29, 2010

Video of the Week: John Piper

John Piper pleads for his church members to experience small groups.

by Sam O'Neal

Got a little behind yesterday, so I'll post this now. "Friday Flashback" to come this afternoon.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 7:43 AM on January 29, 2010 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

January 21, 2010

LiveBooking! Taking a Look at Torah

Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus has been found!

by Sam O'Neal

Sitting%20at%20the%20Feet%20of%20Rabbi%20Jesus.jpg

Okay, I have finally found my copy of Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus! So now we can resume LiveBooking, and I do apologize for the delay.

Today we're going to take a look at chapter 10, which is titled "Touching the Rabbi's Fringe."

The Purpose of Torah
I enjoyed this chapter a lot because it addresses a question that a lot of Christians wrestle with during their faith journeys—including me. And that question is, "Why are there so many rules and regulations?" If that rankles you as an Evangelical Protestant, please accept my apologies. But there is no denying that the Bible (both the Old and New Testament) is filled with commands, instructions, regulations, and suggestions.

So, why?

According to Spangler and Tverberg, those rules and regulations have always been part of God's plan to teach us and help us move closer to Him. They write:

Perhaps the best way to understand the Torah is to see it as something more than an inflexible set of laws. Similar to an archer aiming an arrow toward a target, the Torah offers guidance for how God wants us to live. God began by leading his people out of Egypt physically. Then he led them away from Egypt morally. The Bible speaks about "the path of righteousness" or "the path of life," bidding us to follow God's "way." And it is no coincidence that the early Christians also spoke of their own faith as "the Way."

Continue reading LiveBooking! Taking a Look at Torah...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:44 AM on January 21, 2010 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 15, 2010

Friday Flashback: BBQ, Cole Slaw, and the Difference Between Right and Wrong

A good lesson from a horrible side dish

by Rick Howerton

Whenever I order a barbeque sandwich in North Carolina, I'm asked if I want cole slaw on it. The first time this was asked of me, I was a little grossed out. "Do people really like that?!" I asked. The response was, "Sure Howerton, a lot of people prefer cole slaw on their barbeque sandwich. It's a North Carolina thing."

I thought to myself, That's just wrong!

But it's not wrong to slap one of the most despised conglomerations on the planet on a sandwich—it's just a preference. These confused connoisseurs of fine cuisine probably grew up eating their sandwiches covered with cole slaw. So they prefer it with the stuff, rather than without it. The practice may make me cringe when they eat it in my presence, but there's nothing wrong with them having it.

In a similar way, there are a lot of things that cause some followers of Jesus to cringe—things that are simply preferences, not things that are wrong. These preferences have been established in many ways:

• Families instill customs
• Denominations create different sets of belief
• Peers can steer people a certain way
• A person's history may cause them to think differently.

Small-group leader and small-group member: be careful that you don't question a fellow follower of Jesus when they involve themselves in various activities. That is, unless the Bible specifically points out the wrongness of those activities.

Labeling preference as "wrong" or "right" damages us. It ties, gags, and jails those who have journeyed to the source of freedom. If you feel you have a weakness in this area, read Romans 14 to get a grip on God's view of "preference" and "wrong."

And by the way—I have recently learned to relish cole slaw on my barbeque sandwiches!

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:44 AM on January 15, 2010 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

January 13, 2010

LiveBooking?

No post this week because of, um, technical difficulties...

by Sam O'Neal

For those of you who have been waiting for the "LiveBooking" coverage of Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus this week, I'll have to apologize. I took the book home over the holiday so I could keep reading it consistently, and then—it got a little lost. I'm guessing that my young son "filed" it somewhere (he loves putting things in drawers), and I have yet to come across it.

But, I know the book is in the house, and so I have full confidence that our LiveBooking tour will continue next week. Thanks for your patience!

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:26 AM on January 13, 2010 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

January 12, 2010

Question of the Week: Cell Groups and Small Groups

Is there really a difference between different ways of "doing" small groups?

by Sam O'Neal

We created a bit of buzz on Twitter today with our recent Q & A column, so I figured I would try to transfer that energy to the blog with our newest Question of the Week: What is the difference between a small group and a cell group?

Here's a little background to get started. Randall Neighbour is the newest Q & A expert on SmallGroups.com, and this week we posted the first question he answered for us, which was the same one I asked above. Click here to see his response, which does not pull any punches (and that is pretty consistent with Randall's character, if you've read his blog).

I "tweeted" a little blurb about Randall's article on Twitter, and pretty soon afterward I saw an email about a response from Mark Howell, which you can see here. If you don't know Mark, he spends the better part of his days teaching churches the value of small groups and training leaders on maximizing their group ministries.

So, you can get some good information from the links above from men who have been involved with small groups for a long time. But I'm also curious about your opinions and ideas. So what you do think? Is there really a difference between the different methods of "doing" small groups—whether you call them small groups, cell groups, home groups, life groups, journey groups, or whatever. Or is it all semantics?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 4:37 PM on January 12, 2010 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

December 25, 2009

Friday Flashback: Microwave vs. Crockpot

Which leadership development philosophy do you choose?

by Dan Lentz

It's a conversation that has repeated itself several times over the years for me. The conversation takes different forms, but the theme is the same: Can people grow into spiritual leadership quickly, or only slowly? Can small groups be multiplied quickly, or does it take extended periods of time? Can new small group leaders be released into leadership quickly with the help of quality programmed curriculums, or does slower process-oriented apprenticing and relational training need to happen before releasing leaders?

In short, can development processes be "micro-waved" or do they need to be "crock-potted"? It's a conversation that took place again recently with some leaders in our local church. Did we come up with an answer? Yes and No.

Continue reading Friday Flashback: Microwave vs. Crockpot...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 1:01 AM on December 25, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 22, 2009

LiveBooking: "Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus"

Chapter 10 looks at hospitality in ancient times.

by Sam O'Neal

Once again it's time for our weekly tour through Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus, by Ann Spangler and Lois Tverberg. When I sat down to read this week, I became excited by just the title of chapter 10: "At Table with the Rabbi." I very much enjoy learning more about the ancient practices of hospitality, and I was not disappointed today.

Culture Nuggets
First, it was good to see the authors address the way in which some people mistakenly attempt to adopt hospitality customs from ancient Israel into modern America. Here's an example:

When Jesus commissioned his disciples to preach in the surrounding villages, he gave them instructions that sound radical to us: "Take nothing for the journey except a staff—no bread, no bag, no money in your belts.... And if any place will not welcome you or listen to you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave, as a testimony against them" (Mark 6:8,11).
Taking this passage literally, some Christians have gone with little or no money to places that don't have the same high regard for hospitality that existed in Jesus' day. And even though God can provide for them, it seems clear that Jesus wasn't asking his disciples to count on daily miracles to sustain them. Instead, he knew that the talmidim of an esteemed rabbi would normally be warmly welcomed. Any community that failed to treat his disciples with honor deserved to be left behind.

That's a good reminder of why understanding context is so important when we set about reading and applying God's Word.

Application
Speaking of applying, I'm wondering what hospitality currently looks like in the modern West. What are the rules? What are the customs? What are the social norms when it comes to spending time with each other and in each other's homes?

And then to go a little deeper, how do those rules and customs affect what we are all about in terms of small groups and forming spiritual communities?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 1:20 PM on December 22, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 17, 2009

Video of the Week: Dallas Willard

Excellent thoughts from a leader in the world of spiritual transformation

by Sam O'Neal

I found this week's video on the LiveStream account of Monvee.com, which you can access here. If you're not familiar with Monvee, I have a feeling you will be soon. It has been branding itself as "the future of spiritual formation," which would be kind of a laughable claim if it didn't have people like John Ortberg and Dallas Willard in its corner. Those names make me want to learn more, and I am in the process of doing so. (And I will pass on what I learn to you, as well.)

Now for the video. This is an interview with Dallas Willard on several topics intersecting with spiritual transformation, and it is outstanding stuff. Outstanding. My favorite part comes about 7 or 8 minutes in, when Willard talks about grace and effort. "Grace is not opposed to effort," he says. "It's opposed to earning."

Here's the rest.

Watch live streaming video from monvee at livestream.com

posted by Sam O'Neal at 12:00 PM on December 17, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 15, 2009

LiveBooking: "Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus"

The three feasts surrounding Jesus' crucifixion offer a wealth of detail and depth to our understanding of the event.

by Sam O'Neal

Once again it's time for our weekly tour through Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus, by Ann Spangler and Lois Tverberg. I just finished reading chapter 8, which has some very interesting things to say about the Jewish feasts that surrounded the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus.

Specifically, Spangler and Tverberg focus on the feasts of Passover, Unleavened Bread, and Firstfruits. There are a lot of fascinating nuggets and tidbits in regards to the different Jewish beliefs, legends, and symbols attached to those feasts—especially in connection with Jesus' resurrection.

For example, they mention a Jewish tradition of breaking off a piece of the matzah bread before the Passover meal (the seder) and hiding it. This piece is called the afikomen, and it is brought out at the end of the seder and broken and eaten by all the participants.

Here's more:

...in Jesus' time, the afikomen referred to "the coming one,", meaning the longed-for Messiah. The tradition was that the whole piece of matzah represented all of Israel, and that the Messiah was "broken off" from the people and hidden away. The appearance of the piece at the end was symbolic of the coming of the Messiah, fervently expected at the time of Jesus. When Jesus held up that particular piece of bread and said, "This is my body," he was making a shocking claim to be the Messiah, the Christ.

Cool huh? There's a good bit more where that came from, but I don't want to steal too much thunder from the authors and spoil their keen insights.

One more thing, though. Reading this chapter reminded me of the value of learning about the different feasts initiated and celebrated by the Israelites throughout the Old Testament. They provide some shocking clarification and "wow" moments, especially in regard to Jesus and the New Testament.

You and your group can learn more with our 6-session Bible study called Seeing Christ in the Jewish Feasts.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 2:05 PM on December 15, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 11, 2009

Friday Flashback: Something Bigger!

Getting to the root of our small-group ministry calling

by Dan Lentz

Through all the hype and trendiness associated with various small-group philosophies, it's critical that we not lose perspective on what God is doing behind it all. I was reading a recent article by Scott Boren who was taking a fresh look at the writings of some of the early pioneers of the modern small-group movement.

Scott noted these earlier writings focused on something bigger than just getting people into small groups. Click on the link above or below to read the entire article, but here's a summary of what Scott gleaned from his research:

1. Their primary concern was not on church growth, number of groups, or what percentage of the church was in groups. They realized that group participation was not the end goal, but a means for accomplishing God's greater mission. They had a vision for the redemption of creation and for empowering people to have a role in this redemption. Groups helped them do this and groups would often grow as a result. But there is little talk about how many groups, how people join groups, or other technical questions.

Continue reading Friday Flashback: Something Bigger!...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 4:00 AM on December 11, 2009 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

December 10, 2009

Video of the Week: Eugene Peterson

Is it better to study the Bible, or to read it?

by Sam O'Neal

I am currently working on a SmallGroups.com training download called "How to Prepare a Bible Study," and one of the things I am trying to cover in that resource is how to best approach the Bible when your goal is teaching others.

So when I saw a video on YouTube titled "Eugene Peterson explains the difference between 'studying' and 'reading' the Bible," I thought, Aha! Exactly what I've been looking for. I figured the video would highlight that most people just read the Bible, like any other book, but don't really know how to study it.

Let's see if I was right...

Continue reading Video of the Week: Eugene Peterson...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:39 AM on December 10, 2009 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

December 8, 2009

LiveBooking: "Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus"

Exploring a life that is saturated in prayer

by Sam O'Neal

It's time for another "LiveBooking" tour through Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus, by Ann Spangler and Lois Tverberg. If you're not familiar with what's going on here, you can find some explanation from our first post on this idea several weeks back.

Teach Us to Pray
I'm going to skim over Chapter 6 pretty quickly—not because it wasn't interesting, but because the information is pretty specific and somewhat technical. The authors go into some very cool detail about Jewish customs with clothing and dress (would Jesus have worn a yarmulke, for example). They also take a look at some of the Jewish influences on what we know today as the Lord's Prayer.

Saturated in Prayer
As I read chapter 7, I was fascinated by the way the lives of Jewish people in Jesus' day were saturated by prayer—especially prayers of blessing and thanks to God. Here's a quick excerpt to give you an example:

In Jesus' time, you would probably have woken up to a rooster's crow. After thanking God for returning your soul to you for yet another day, you may have said: "Blessed is he who has given the rooster understanding to distinguish between day and night."
As you opened your eyes you would have prayed: "Blessed is he who opens the eyes of the blind," and then you would have said another dozen or so short prayers praise God for every body part still functioning.

What a way to start the day, huh? And the prayers of blessing kept going throughout the day. Spangler and Tverberg describe blessing prayers for the smell of fruit, for seeing the ocean, or for encountering a particularly beautiful person or compelling rabbi.

"This tradition of blessing God is one that takes a 'glass half full' approach to life," the authors write. "What a great way to avoid negativity and ingratitude, opening our eyes to God's provision! What might the world be like if more of us were to adopt this wonderful Jewish prayer custom?"

That's a good question. But more importantly, what would the Church be like? And how can we adopt these practices in our everyday lives?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:39 AM on December 8, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 4, 2009

Friday Flashback: Relational Evangelism

That "Great Commission" thing still applies, right?

by Randall Neighbor

It's always good to "reboot" your computer from time to time in order to set everything straight and clear out the "digital cobwebs" from the operating system. I thought I'd do the same with my current thinking and practices about sharing my faith with my unchurched/non-believing friends.

I encourage you to pass these ideas along to your leaders and group members so they, too, can "reboot" for 2009 and be far more successful in helping friends find a genuine relationship with God through Christ, our Lord!

1. Create a true friendship. The goal is to show God's unconditional love and be a true friend. Show them you love them regardless of their current or future beliefs and let the Holy Spirit do his work. They're not a "project."

2. Be real. Real friends show their weaknesses and are not too proud to ask others for help. Show the person that you want a genuine friendship that is characterized by "bi-directional" servanthood.

Continue reading Friday Flashback: Relational Evangelism...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 8:00 AM on December 4, 2009 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

December 2, 2009

Question of the Week: Multiplication

Does dividing a small group produce a blessing or a curse?

by Sam O'Neal

I've kept the Question of the Week on the lighter side recently. We've talked about Thanksgiving side dishes and Christian Buzzwords, for example. But now it's time to get serious.

It's time for a showdown for this Question of the Week—we're talking high noon at the OK Corrall, folks. I want to dig into the topic of multiplication. Specifically, the practice of dividing (or "branching" or "birthing" or whatever term you prefer) an existing small group in order to form two or more groups.

There are lots of diffrent angles and scenarios we can think up on this topic, but I want to keep the discussion focused on the people involved. So here's the question: Does dividing a small group help the attending group members, or does it harm them?

And if you want to get a little background information on this issue, there are two articles from SmallGroups.com that I would recommend (see if you can tell what each author thinks by the titles...):

--Why Dividing Small Groups Is a Dumb Idea, by Larry Osborne

--The Joys of Multiplication, by Randy Frazee

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:18 AM on December 2, 2009 | Comments (9) | Trackbacks (0)

December 1, 2009

LiveBooking: "Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus"

If you like community, you'll like chapter five.

by Sam O'Neal

Welcome to week five of our "LiveBooking" tour through Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus, by Ann Spangler and Lois Tverberg. I can't quite put my finger on the reason, but I was pretty excited by chapter 5. Maybe you can help me figure out why. :)

It's Haver Time
Spangler and Tverberg begin this chapter by spotlighting the Jewish practice of studying with a haver—a friend willing to partner with you in grappling with Scripture. Even more, a haverim was a group of students who learned together, asked questions of each other, debated, and explained.

This quote from the book gives a little more detail:

Was Jesus aware of this approach to studying Scripture? Consider the words of the early rabbis, who said: "When two sit together and exchange words of Torah, then the Divine Presence dwells among them." Now, listen to the words of Jesus: "Where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them" (Matthew 18:20).

Like other Jewish teachers of his time, Jesus affirmed his followers' need for community. What's more, since Jesus is himself the Word of God, it makes sense that he would promise to be present as we come together to study the Scriptures.

Our Westernized minds may struggle with this idea. We tend to believe that the only way to deeply encounter God is through solitary prayer and study. But Jesus implies that his presence will be felt most often in the presence of a small group of haverim.

Can I get an amen?!

So, Which One?
That quote started a question rattling around in my head, and I'll turn to all of you to help me answer it: Where does the deepest spiritual formation usually happen? Alone or in community? Does the Holy Spirit speak best to us in a "still, small voice" when we are alone, or do we best encounter the Spirit when two or three are gathered in Jesus' name?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 1:51 PM on December 1, 2009 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

November 24, 2009

LiveBooking: "Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus"

Chapter four has some very interesting things to say about discipleship.

by Sam O'Neal

Welcome to our fourth week of "LiveBooking" through Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus, by Ann Spangler and Lois Tverberg. I've been enjoying chapter four through different portions of my morning, and I'm bursting with things to share.

Culture Nuggets
First, another cool 1st Century cultural nugget.

The authors make it clear that the life of a rabbi in Jesus' day was expected to be rough and tumble. In fact, a rabbi saying from that time period went something like this: "This is the path of Torah: a morsel with salt shall you eat, and you shall drink water by measure, and sleep upon the ground, and live a life of painfulness, and in Torah shall you labor. If thou do this, happy shall you be and it shall be well with you."

That gives some added perspective on the way that Jesus was sometimes stand-offish toward those that wanted to follow him. "Foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head" (see Matthew 8).

Continue reading LiveBooking: "Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus"...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 3:06 PM on November 24, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

November 17, 2009

LiveBooking: "Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus"

Chapter 3 looks at some interesting ways that Jesus used Scripture to teach.

by Sam O'Neal

Welcome to our third week of "LiveBooking" for Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus, by Ann Spangler and Lois Tverberg. I've been reading through Chapter 3, which is called "Stringing Pearls." The title is an old Jewish saying for teachers who would bring together passages of Scripture from different places in order to highlight and explore what those passages really say.

This was a tactic commonly used by rabbis and teachers in Jesus' day, and the authors do a great job in this chapter of showing how Jesus followed suit. For example, the Beatitudes in Matthew 5 are a great example of Jesus combining several references from Isaiah and the Psalms in order to make a bold statement about God's faithfulness.

But what captured my attention most in this chapter was the ancient practice of "hinting." This was a teaching tool that rabbis used to bring attention to a specific passage of Scripture by quoting only a portion of it and forcing their students to remember or look up the rest. Here's an example from the book:

[Jesus] had been preaching and healing people within the temple grounds. The crowds were cheering for him. Even children were shouting out: "Hosannah to the Son of David!" Indignant, the priests and teachers of the law stormed over to Jesus to confront him: "Do you hear what these children are saying?" they asked.

Jesus replied: "Have you never read, 'From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise'?" (Matthew 21:16).

Instantly, the rest of Psalm 8:2 would have reverberated in their minds: "From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger" (italics added).

The Psalmist is saying that God's glory is so great that even children instinctively worship him, to the sshame of those who hate him. In the same way, the children who acclaimed Jesus were responding to his ministry the way his interrogators should have, but refused to do. ...Jesus was using a quote from Scripture to invoke a longer passage that his opponents knew well. God's Word delivered the rebuke they deserved.

Bam! I thought that was cool. Can you think of any other sections of the Gospel where Jesus only quoted from portions of the Old Testament Scripture? I'm going to go look and see....

posted by Sam O'Neal at 4:35 PM on November 17, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

November 13, 2009

Friday Flashback: A Dynamic Quotation from Eugene Peterson

When it comes to applying Scripture, this changes everything.

by Sam O'Neal

Here's the paragraph:

If I'm not living in active response to the living God revealed in the Bible, reading about his creation/salvation/holiness won't interest me—at least not for long. The most important question we ask of any text isn't "What does this mean?" but "What can I obey?" Simple obedience will open up our lives to a text more than any number of Bible studies, dictionaries, and concordances.

Wow. Not "What does it mean," but "What can I obey?"

That's revolutionary, isn't it?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:35 AM on November 13, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

November 10, 2009

LiveBooking: "Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus"

Chapter 2 tackles the question, "Why a Jewish rabbi?"

by Sam O'Neal

Welcome to our second week of "LiveBooking" for Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus, by Ann Spangler and Lois Tverberg. If you don't know what LiveBooking is, or what this post is all about, I suggest you check out our explanation from last week.

Onward!

Cool Quotes
Here are some of my favorite soundbites from chapter 2:

Would it surprise you to learn that the rabbis thought that study, and not prayer, was the highest form of worship? They pointed out that when we pray, we speak to God, but that when we study the Scriptures, God speaks to us.

The mission of a rabbi was to become a living example of what it means to apply God's Word to one's life. A disciple apprenticed himself to a rabbi because the rabbi had saturated his life with Scripture and had become a true follower of God. The disciple sought to study the text, not only of Scripture but of the rabbi's life, for it was there that he would learn how to live out the Torah. Even more than acquiring his master's knowledge, he wanted to acquire his master's character—his internal grasp of God's law.

Summary
Chapter 2 focuses on understanding what it means that Jesus chose to impact the world as a Jewish rabbi in Israel. The authors include a lot of interesting nuggets and tidbits, but what I found most helpful was the description of how rabbis functioned during that time. (Interestingly, the term "rabbi" was a label of respect in Jesus' day—one given to those who taught Scripture well. But "rabbi" did not become a formal title until A.D. 70 at the earliest. That's why it made sense for Jesus to serve as a carpenter before launching his teaching ministry at age 30.)

Here are some of the primary functions of a rabbi during Jesus' time:

They interpreted the Torah and explained what the Scriptures meant—often through parables.

Many rabbis travelled from village to village and taught in the synagogues. They relied on the hospitality of others during their travels, but they accepted no salary.

Rabbis spent a good deal of time training disciples. These men usually travelled with their rabbi for years with the goal of becoming like him and eventually spreading his interpretation of the Torah.

The authors make a good point at the end of the chapter in regard to that last item: "So often we focus on Jesus' mission on the cross to save us from our sins. As marvelous as that is, it's critical for us to grasp the importance of his mission on Earth as a rabbi. His goal was to raise up disciples who would become like him. As followers of Jesus, we are still called to live out the adventure of discipleship, becoming like Jesus through the power of his Spirit at work within us."

Jesus started a movement, in other words—one that has changed the course of human history forever. We are all the continuation of that movement, which means we have work to do.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 2:04 PM on November 10, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

November 3, 2009

A New Day for the Blog

Check out our shiny new schedule and features.

by Sam O'Neal

You know how in some families there will be one kid that has a bunch of problems and takes up most of the parents' attention? And then the other kids get the short end of the stick a little bit because they behave normally, which means the parents let them do their own thing and don't spend a lot of energy on them?

Well, that kind of summarizes the relationship between www.SmallGroups.com and this blog in the past year. SmallGroups.com is the older child, and while it contains the lion's share of the features and resources, it has also generated a great deal of problems that have absorbed just about all of my time and attention. Which means I haven't had a lot of energy to focus on this blog.

But things are changing! We are gradually working the bugs out of SmallGroups.com, and I am going to make a conscious effort to give this blog more of the time and attention it deserves.

Starting with this new schedule for regular features and posts:

Monday: Dot Com(unity) [starting in January]
Tuesday: LiveBooking
Wednesday: Question of the Week
Thursday: Video of the Week
Friday: Friday Flashback

I'll explain some of these terms in more detail after the jump below, but I also want to emphasize that these will not be the only posts added to the blog each week. We'll still have regular, article-length posts from myself, Dan Lentz, and the other authors you've come to know and love over the past year—all focused on helping you grow as small-group leaders.

Continue reading A New Day for the Blog...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:45 AM on November 3, 2009 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

LiveBooking! "Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus"

Check out this new weekly feature for the blog.

by Sam O'Neal

Welcome to the first post on what will be a weekly feature on Small Group Dynamics: LiveBooking!

You've probably all heard of LiveBlogging by now. It's when someone attends a conference or event and then writes blog posts about speakers or experiences as they are happening. I recently had some fun LiveBlogging from the Willow Creek Small Groups Conference, for example, and you can see some examples of it here, here, here, and here.

So what is LiveBooking, you ask? Well, I had so much fun at the Willow conference that I asked myself, How can I do this more often? My answer was books. There are a great many books that intersect with small-groups ministry and the spiritual formation/growth of individual believers. And I know that group leaders often don't have time to read them all, just like most group leaders don't have the time or money to attend a lot of conferences.

So, I will spend a good chunk of time each week reading through a book that I think will benefit regular small-group leaders. And then I'll write about what I've read, both summarizing and giving my opinion. It will be kind of like "Cliff's Notes," but for group leaders! And then you can all add in your opinions and experiences, and we could have a real opportunity for learning and growth each week.

Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus
The first book I'll be blogging through is called Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus, by Ann Spangler and Lois Tverberg (Zondervan, 2009). This is a book that I actually received several months ago, and I've been excited to read it ever since.

Here's a quote from the 1st chapter of the book that shows why I've been waiting for a chance to get this off my shelf:

Continue reading LiveBooking! "Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus"...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 8:52 AM on November 3, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

October 24, 2009

Group Life: Bill Donahue

Have you experienced "text abuse"?

by Sam O'Neal

I just finished listening to Bill Donahue speak at the Willow Group Life conference. His talk was a bit different from the first sessions in that it dealt specifically with the group leader's role in Bible study and facilitation, which was cool.

Some of what Bill said was pretty basic, but one point especially stood out to me. I'm paraphrasing a bit, but here's what he said about some people's use of the Bible: "When we use our strength to force or beat someone, that is physical abuse. When we use our tongues to cut people, that is verbal abuse. When we enforce our will over children, that's child abuse. And when we use the Bible as a weapon or a method of control, that is textual abuse."

That idea needs to be shouted from the rooftops. So many people feel like the Bible is a club to be wielded against those who need it. They feel that change happens through bludgeoning with verses. And this happens in small groups all the time. If someone's opinion is different than mine, I stone them with BIble verses until they submit or shut down.

This needs to stop. But how? As a group leader, what should we do when this starts happening in our group?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 1:28 PM on October 24, 2009 | Comments (4) | Trackbacks (0)

Group Life: Heather Zempel

Very good stuff from one of our favorite authors!

by Sam O'Neal

If you're not familiar with Heather Zempel, you need to go to SmallGroups.com right now and search for what she's written there. It's all great stuff. You can also go to her blog, which is called Wineskins for Discipleship.

Today at Group Life, Heather talked about the reality of mess in small groups. Specifically, the fact that messes are given in any place where human beings come together. I intellectually agree with everything that Heather said, including different ways to engage and address the messes as a process for growth.

But I've not experienced a lot of this recently. I'm in a pretty clean group right now, and I guess that scares me. Are the group members just not opening up? Am I not providing the right kind of atmosphere for them to open up? Is it possible that we're just in a time of little trouble right now, and we really all like each other as much as we claim to?

I wish I had answers to these questions, but I'm pretty blank right now. I'm going to chew on this for a little while, but I'm curious what all of you are experiencing, as well. Got mess? (reminds me of those milk commercials.) And if not, is that a good thing or a bad thing? Is that your fault as the leader, or the fault of your group members?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:55 AM on October 24, 2009 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

Group Life: Dr. Henry Cloud

Is deep, personal confrontation really realistic?

by Sam O'Neal

I'm sure most of you are familiar with Dr. Henry Cloud from the "Boundaries" series of books and videos, but you might not be aware that he is also a big, big advocate of small groups. He speaks regularly at different conferences, and he's got a pretty cool book out called "Making Small Groups Work."

Dr. Cloud's talk at the conference today was very cool, but there was one thing that kept bugging me as he spoke. He told several different stories about different groups he's been a part of or heard about, and all of the stories dealt with some kind of deeper interaction or confrontation. For example, he talked about someone from his group telling him that they were bugged by his habit of not hearing what people said and just talking about what was on his mind. There was another story about a guy who was beaten down by his father, and the group encouraged him to call his father on the phone right then and there and disagree with him three times.

Lots more stories like that, and they all had the common thread of confrontation within a group—not confrontation like this person talks to much or sings too loud, but confrontation like, "I want you to be a better person, so I am going to tell you the areas where you are weak so that the group can help you get stronger."

And that sounds really cool to me, that idea. But I've not experienced it in a group. And frankly, I'm not sure I have the guts to initiate something like that. Spiritual growth and education, yes. If someone confesses a sin, I'll be there with support and whatever they need. But personal confrontation with the sins and bad habits of another person? Not right now.

Is that a place I need to grow as a group participant? As a group leader? Or is that kind of experience not realistic for a small group that is not led by a professional psychiatrist?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:05 AM on October 24, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

From Group Life: Mindy Caliguire

Why the soul of a group leader is the most important thing

by Sam O'Neal

I'm listening to Mindy Caliguire speak at the Willow Group Life conference. If you don't know of Mindy, she is a powerful and growing voice in the world of spiritual formation. She's got good stuff to say in several books, and I'll actually be talking with her early in November, so you'll be able to see that interview.

Mindy also has good stuff to say here at the conference. She's talking about the soul—especially the soul of a small-group leader. According to Mindy, there are many things she used to think were the most important qualifications for a group leader. All the usual stuff -- listening skills, Bible knowledge, hospitality, etc. But now she has only one answer. The most important qualification for a small-group leader is that he or she is leading from a healthy soul.

And that reminds me of some really cool research that was conducted by Jim Egli and some other folks who made a nationwide study of several hundred churches. They looked at churches who were doing small groups well, but specifically at small groups that were healthy. And they discovered some common habits of healthy small groups.

Here are the biggest two:

1. The vast majority of healthy small groups had group leaders who had a regular and fruitful devotional time with God every day.

2. The vast majority of healthy small groups had group leaders who prayed for their group members by name every day.

Those sound like group leaders who have healthy souls, to me.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:31 AM on October 24, 2009 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

From Group Life: Talking about Courage

I haven't thought of this before...

by Sam O'Neal

I just listened to the first session here at the Willow Creek Small Groups conference, which featured Dave Johnston. He's the pastor at Church of the Open Door in Minneapolis, MN.

He was talking about spiritual formation, which is a pretty common topic. And he gave three non-negotiable elements of change. The first and third were authenticity and grace. And those are also pretty common—good stuff, but common.

But sandwiched in the middle was the idea of courage. It takes courage to be authentic. And I think that is huge. I have not heard that word connected to community and small groups before, but I sure think it should be. What better word for the emotional strength it takes to remove all the masks in front of other people? What better word for what it takes to confess sin?

Let's talk about this a little more: how does Courage fit in with your experience of small groups?

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:01 AM on October 24, 2009 | Comments (4) | Trackbacks (0)

LIve Blog: From the Willow Creek Small Group Conference

Join us all day!

by by Sam O'Neal

Hello everyone,

It's about 8 in the morning, and I'm here at the Willow Creek Small Groups Conference! I'll be live-blogging all day, so be sure to check back often to hear what's being seen and said at this important event.

I'll also be tweeting regularly, so be sure to check out our Twitter page. Our name is @smallgroupscom, and the hash tag for the conference is #grouplife.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 7:57 AM on October 24, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

October 8, 2009

Eliminating Dangerous Routines

Don’t settle for what you’ve always done

by Dan Lentz

My experience with rock climbing has been limited to the artificial rock walls and high ropes courses. But I appreciate that rock climbing, like small groups, is an activity that is risky enough that it should be done in community.

If you are not familiar with rock climbing, you typically have one person climbing while someone else holds the safety ropes. The person holding the safety ropes is called the “belay.” When the climber is ready to proceed up the rock, the procedure is to communicate with the belayer. "On belay" means that the belayer is operating the belay device, ready to "catch" the climber in the event of a fall. "On belay" essentially means, "I've got you, it is safe to proceed." "Off belay" means the opposite: "I am not manning the belay device, so exercise extreme caution." Many climbing accidents happen because of poor communication between the climber and belayer.

I was reading an article on BusinessWeek.com that talked about the routines of rock climbers and noted the risk involved as climbers interact: “Can you think of two phrases that sound more alike than ‘on belay’ and ‘off belay?’ While they might be distinguished easily in an indoor climbing gym, put two competitive, adrenaline-filled people on a sheer cliff with the wind whistling by, a waterfall in the distance, gear clacking against the rock—and it's not difficult to see how such errors occur. Why on earth, I wondered, would climbers continue to use the terms when they are obviously not the best signals for the task? ‘I guess climbers have always done it that way,’ was their uneasy answer. The terms are remnants of a stupid routine.”

This article made me think about our small groups. How many stupid routines are we doing in our small groups that, at best, are creating ineffective Christian community—and at worst, creating dangerous spiritual situations in our groups? Things like breaking confidentiality, gossip, being more focused on curriculum than relationships, running out of time for prayer, and the like.

Continue reading Eliminating Dangerous Routines...

posted by Dan Lentz at 8:21 AM on October 8, 2009 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

September 15, 2009

Great Relational Leaders

What they do and what they don’t do

by Dan Lentz

Lot’s of great leadership nuggets can be found at 21stCenturyStrategiesInc.com. I was reviewing some archived material there recently and came across a list of relational leadership traits to avoid, put together by Dan Reeves. I’ve adapted Dan’s list a bit and repurposed it as a list of relational characteristics that describe great small-group leaders.

Great relational small-group leaders...

Are not stingy with their praise of others.

Confidently affirm those things they agree with or believe, while being honest and humble about their own failures.

Are willing to initiate healthy mentoring conversations about things that make them concerned.

Do not tend to jump immediately to negative conclusions when interpreting people’s actions.

Do not find it easy to understand people’s motivations without asking them.

Prefer first-hand information rather than second-hand information.

Give the benefit of the doubt.

Do not tend to want all permissions run through them.

Are very comfortable with independent thinkers.

Do not tend to be locked into the safety of rules, regulations, and organizational efficiency.

Tend to see what can go right with an idea, rather than what might go wrong.

Focus more on mission than maintenance.

Are more concerned about people than process.

Are able to use and release leaders with skills, knowledge and abilities different from or better than their own.

Avoid using the legitimacy of their power and control as an excuse to solve problems and make decisions in isolation.

Are not insecure.

Do you agree with this list? What relational characteristics have I missed?

posted by Dan Lentz at 1:01 PM on September 15, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

August 31, 2009

Rehabilitating Small-Group Leaders

Wounded leaders need time and care before returning to battle.

by Dan Lentz

Because of a chronic illness I have been experiencing over the past several years, I've been thinking a lot about what small-group leaders need as they go through crisis situations in their own life. I used to be of the mindset that continuing to lead your small group, even during a personal crisis, was the best way to get through the crisis. "Bring your struggle to the community" and then press on! I learned the hard way that I was only half right.

During my illness, I definitely could not survive without my community. But as for leadership, I have hit times when I simply could not press on as normal. I did not have energy to do the hard relational work. I struggled to be adequately prepared. I simply did not have the energy to take the initiative.

This experience is teaching me that we need to take the rehabilitation of wounded small group leaders seriously.

I have appreciated the insight of Stephen Ministries, who provide training and resources for small groups to help care for their members and leaders. Here’s a quote from one of their staff:

Continue reading Rehabilitating Small-Group Leaders...

posted by Dan Lentz at 12:30 PM on August 31, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

August 24, 2009

Externally Focused Groups

Why your group won’t thrive if community is your goal

by Dan Lentz

I was reading the new issue of Rev magazine recently. The issue is titled, “Moving Small Groups Out of their Box.” Several articles focus on the nuts and bolts of taking your small group to the people rather than asking people to your small group.

One insightful reminder for me was that in small groups, the idea of "community" should not be our goal, but only a by product of missionally oriented relationships. When we make community our goal, we drift towards an inward-focus—usually to the exclusion of people outside the group. In fact, what many churches make the focus of small-group ministry (community) can actually become the thing that stifles it!

When I chat with people about the process of becoming a more externally focused house church (or small group), they often ask how they can measure their progress in loving and ministering to those outside the walls of their church (or group). A practical way of thinking about this was proposed by Eric Swanson in Leadership Network Advance. He boils external focus down into two measurements:

Continue reading Externally Focused Groups...

posted by Dan Lentz at 2:20 PM on August 24, 2009 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

August 11, 2009

BBQ, Cole Slaw, and the Difference Between Right and Wrong

A good lesson from a horrible side dish

by Rick Howerton

I thought to myself, That's just wrong!

• Families instill customs
• Denominations create different sets of belief
• Peers can steer people a certain way
• A person's history may cause them to think differently.

And by the way—I have recently learned to relish cole slaw on my barbeque sandwiches!

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:24 AM on August 11, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

August 7, 2009

Pastoral Care—Who does it?

Small-group leaders, pastors, or both?

by Dan Lentz

Dale Galloway, former pastor of New Hope Community Church in Portland states "No church with more than 50 members can be effective in pastoral care without enlisting and enabling the lay people to do daily work of pastoral care." That begs the question: What do people really need in the way of pastoral care?

According to a Gallup poll from about four years ago, there are six needs people have:
1. To believe life is meaningful and has purpose
2. To have a sense of community and deeper relationships
3. To be appreciated and respected
4. To be listened to and heard
5. To feel that one is growing in faith
6. To have practical help in developing a mature faith

In the traditional sense of pastoral care, perhaps we can also include a seventh item to the list: "To be cared for and served in a time of crisis or need."

Even with number seven, if you look at this list, it is easy to see how small groups provide a means of meeting these needs. If your small groups aren't meeting these needs and your church has over 50 people, then healthy "pastoral care" probably isn't happening.

But how do you get small groups to embrace pastoral care as part of their ministry? Seeing the small-group leader as pastor and the pastor as small-group leader requires a significant paradigm shift in the way "church" has been done in many cases, both for the staff pastors and for the congregation.

Continue reading Pastoral Care—Who does it?...

posted by Dan Lentz at 12:52 PM on August 7, 2009 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

August 3, 2009

The Leader/Coach Relationship

And how to make it healthy

by Reid Smith

One of my favorite quotes from John Maxwell is: "Everything rises and falls on leadership." Over the years, it has become increasingly apparent to me how vital the relationship is between a "Coach" (or "Community Leader") and the leaders in their care. The relationship is just as important for the coach as it is for the group leader—a lifeline within which there is a double-movement of encouragement and support. This relationship takes effort from both sides in order to be strong.

In the past I've written more for coaches explaining how important it is for them to connect with their group leaders. However, one of the greatest challenges I've seen in churches does not have to do with the coaches contacting their group leaders as much as with group leaders rarely returning the courtesy, which over time emasculates the coach's purpose. One assumption from group leaders that feeds this is, "If there are no problems in my group, then there's no need for a connection with my coach." This is not true.

So how does each leader—group leader and coach alike—"fill the gap" of communication that seems to plague so many churches? The following list of practices is written to both coaches and group leaders. My hope is that at least one of these practices might refresh your own insight and action regarding this all-important relationship.

Continue reading The Leader/Coach Relationship...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 4:14 PM on August 3, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

July 28, 2009

Internal vs. External Motivation

Do we focus on the wrong one?

by Dan Lentz

Iâ€™ve been thinking lately about the topic of motivation. Consider the difference between internal and external motivation when it comes to getting people into small groups. Internal motivation is when people realize the value of Christian community and are self-motivated to participate in small groups as a result. On the other hand, external motivation is when we use outside stimulus to get people to consider groups. The outside stimulus can range from gentle invitations to nearly forcing people into groups.

If we had to be honest, I think we would have to admit that most of our efforts to get people into community revolve around external motivations. This is the path we most often take because it is much easier and quicker to develop external motivation systems than internal ones. Changing internal motivation takes much time, prayer and relational effort. And, truthfully, itâ€™s harder to measure and see the results of internal motivation. But, while it is easier for leaders to stimulate external motivation than internal motivation, that doesnâ€™t mean external motivation results in the best disciple-making environment.

Continue reading Internal vs. External Motivation...

posted by Dan Lentz at 8:09 AM on July 28, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

June 29, 2009

Lead Yourself Well

So that you can be a leader worth following

by Heather Zempel

In 1 Corinthians 11:1, Paul states, "imitate me, as I imitate Christ." On one hand, that makes discipleship an easy process. I don't have to be a theologian or Bible scholar; I just have to be willing to bring other people on a spiritual journey with me. We are simply saying "imitate me. Do what I do."

But on the other hand, it makes the discipleship process very scary, because we are simply saying "imitate me"—and, well, I'm just not sure that would always be wise. It makes me realize that my greatest challenge and priority as a leader is to lead myself well so that I become a leader worth following.

Here are just a few disciplines that I have prioritized in my own life to ensure that I am leading myself well.

1. Feed Yourself. I think there are two dimensions of feeding yourself. First, leaders must be immersed in Scripture. Reading it, meditating on it, studying it, putting it into practice. There is absolutely no substitute. About four times a year, I develop a Bible reading plan for myself that is separate from any small-group leadership or other teaching responsibilities I have. I don't want to just read the Bible to get a word of truth for my group; I want to read the Bible so that I can grow as a person.

Second, I believe that leaders are learners. I try to be very intentional about reading books that help me lead better. A few that have helped me in recent months include Simple Small Groups (Bill Search), Making Small Groups Work (Henry Cloud and John Townsend), and Renovation of the Heart (Dallas Willard).

2. Stretch Yourself. It's easy to lead when there are no challenges, difficulties, or tensions. But real leadership happens when we face something that makes us uncomfortable or disturbs our normal routine in some way. If we lead for long enough, then we will find ourselves in stretching situations whether we want to be in them or not. So I've made it a practice to stretch myself regularly and intentionally in order to prepare myself better for leadership challenges when they come my way.

Stretching myself might mean serving in an area that is not part of my natural ministry affinity, being intentional about sharing my faith with someone, or slowing down long enough to talk with the homeless man that I pass on my way to lunch. All of us have spiritual muscle groups that aren't worked as much as others. Locate those muscles in your life and put them to work.

Continue reading Lead Yourself Well...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 1:53 PM on June 29, 2009 | Comments (3) | Trackbacks (0)

June 17, 2009

A Different Look at Twitter

Margaret Feinberg says that "every leader" should use it.

by Sam O'Neal

In my last post, I shared some of the reasons why Twitter makes a little nervous.

If you want to get another point of view, our sister blog GiftedForLeadership.com just added a post from Margaret Feinberg called Every Leader Should Use Twitter. Check it out and let us know what you think.

P.S. Ironically, I learned about the GFL post because I am following that blog on Twitter... :)

posted by Sam O'Neal at 1:25 PM on June 17, 2009 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

Improving Accountability

How to be the accountability partner everyone hopes to find.

by Randall Neighbour

Accountability partnerships typically go stale inside a year when the people involved don't take responsibility for their own healing, growth, and forward momentum. Here are a few principles to help you be the kind of accountability partner others want to meet with.

1. Confessing sin is the "what." That's what everyone knows how to do. But to be a good accountability partner, you need to also share the "why" behind the sinful action so that you get to the root of the problem. Just sharing the "what" may make you feel like you unloaded a pile of guilt, but your partner needs to know and see that you are working on the root issue and seeking deep healing.

Confessing sin week after week gets old for your partner and it means you are stuck! Go deeper. Get to the root of the issue and find freedom. Freedom is good for you and it makes your accountability partner want to dig deeper, as well.

2. Discuss important things you need or want to get done in life, ministry, work, family, and around the house. Just like the first point, go further than "what" by sharing your step-by-step action plan for accomplishing your goals with times or calendar dates. In other words, become accountable to get the project done by next Wednesday at noon. Make it a priority.

Sharing how you don't get things accomplished gets old for your partner and means you are stuck! Sound familiar? Share the particulars of how you plan to get that thing done and invite your partner to call you on it if he or she doesn't receive a phone call with a praise report.

Continue reading Improving Accountability...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 6:36 AM on June 17, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

June 15, 2009

Sam O'Neal: Hypocrite or Just Plain Wrong?

I'll need your help to decide.

by Sam O'Neal

I'll start this post off with a little honesty: I've been telling people for about six months now that I am a little nervous about Twitter. It's not that Twitter (and other sites like Facebook and MySpace) are reprehensible in any way. It's just that in a fragmented and hectic society like ours, I think the need for constant information and updates and announcement can become harmful to us—like being poked in the brain a hundred times a day by a dull stick. And I have considered Twitter to be part of that phenomenon.

Wait a second, I'm being handed a special announcement: SmallGroups.com is now on Twitter! Our handle is SmallGroupscom, and you can check us out right here: http://twitter.com/SmallGroupscom.

See any disconnect between those two paragraphs? I certainly do. And it's something I'm going to try and figure out over the next few weeks.

Continue reading Sam O'Neal: Hypocrite or Just Plain Wrong?...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 2:16 PM on June 15, 2009 | Comments (6) | Trackbacks (0)

June 8, 2009

The Friendly Brain?

Relational disposition does not have to determine relational potential

by Dan Lentz

When it comes to folks who don't connect well in small groups, or who are in leadership roles but struggle to connect well with the people they are leading, our tendency is to label them and say there are just some people who don't have the temperament to be a group leader - it's beyond our control. We are also tempted to use the quirkiness of our personality as an excuse for why we do or do not do many things in ministry well.

I was reading an online article from Newsweek Magazine recently that talked about some of the biology behind personality. Recent studies have found "associations between being a people person and the density of gray matter in two brain regions, orbitofrontal cortex (the outer strip just above the eyes) and the ventral striatum (deep in the center of the brain), both known to play a key role in predicting how rewarding something will be. (A high volume or density of gray matter is linked to enhanced cognitive or behavioral function.) Traits, such as being warm, affectionate, agreeable, sociable, amiable or sympathetic . . . reflect an underlying capacity to experience reward elicited by affiliative stimuli," the scientists write - a capacity, simply stated, to take pleasure in social situations.

Continue reading The Friendly Brain?...

posted by Dan Lentz at 1:46 PM on June 8, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

June 3, 2009

When Is It Time to Move On?

There may come a day when you need to remove a person from your group.

by JoHannah Reardon

Are there times when a person should be asked to leave a small group? I think so. But those times should be rare, and it should be done only for the right reasons. So what are those reasons? I can think of a few.

The person is just too needy.
Once or twice a person has been in our small group who just had too many issues. They really needed a counselor, rather than a small group. In those cases, my husband or I—or someone else who was very patient—met separately with that person, instead. We have even been in some situations that no lay person could deal with, and we had to recommend a counselor and walk away.

You'll know a person is too needy for a small group if they cannot talk about anything but themselves. No matter the beginning of the conversation, the ending is always about their problems. If you've brought this to their attention and they can't adjust their behavior, or if they feel that you just don't understand how tough things are for them, that's a clue they need one-on-one attention.

Or perhaps they have an undiagnosed mental problem that causes them to disconnect from those around them. They will need more help than you can give them unless you are a trained counselor. In these rare situations, it can save the group (as well as the individual) to get them the help they need.

Continue reading When Is It Time to Move On?...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 4:00 PM on June 3, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

Microwave vs. Crock-pot

Which leadership development philosophy do you choose?

by Dan Lentz

Continue reading Microwave vs. Crock-pot...

posted by Dan Lentz at 9:34 AM on June 3, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 26, 2009

Something Bigger!

Getting to the root of our small-group ministry calling

by Dan Lentz

Continue reading Something Bigger!...

posted by Dan Lentz at 9:32 AM on May 26, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 22, 2009

Why We Do It

Our truest motivation for small-group ministry is the life-giving community of the church.

by Reid Smith

Why are you a small-group leader? Why are you involved in the community of your church (and the Church)? I've been thinking about those questions recently.

Sometimes I get the impression that people view "community" as just another one of those things we do as Christians. Good Christians read their Bible, pray, and (along with several other spiritual disciplines) participate in a small group. Because that's what we're suppose do as Christians, right? If I were new to the community of God and his people, I'm not sure how thrilled I would be with this expectation—especially if I didn't think I'd enjoy being with the people in it.

Now don't get me wrong: I love small groups. But it's not small groups themselves that get me fired up. It's what can happen in small groups.

Jesus has told us he will be in the midst of two or three who come together in his name (Matthew 18:20). If we assume community begins with two or more people, then what Jesus is saying is revolutionary! Here's why: The presence of God has the power to transform things. When believers gather in Jesus' name, a life-changing environment is created that affects all who come within its radiating sphere of influence.

When God's grace is flowing, the Church is being the Church in all the fullness God intended. And the most beautiful part of it to me is the fruit of real community: God saving more people each day! This is precisely what we see happening in Acts 2:42â€“47. What a picture of the life-giving flow of God's grace. It is a timeless blueprint for doing what Jesus has commanded every believer to do in The Great Commandment and The Great Commission.

The life-giving community of the Church is the one thing in the whole universe that encompasses what every believer is to do (make disciples) and how they're to do it (love God and one another). It is how God transforms our lives, and it is how he desires to use us to reveal himself to the world. People see God when believers love one another (John 13:34â€“35; 1 John 4:12). And I can't think of a better presentation of the Gospel that kind of LIFE.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:23 AM on May 22, 2009 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

May 19, 2009

Volunteerism or Ownership?

Why you need other people to take charge of your group.

by Randall Neighbour

Small-group leaders often leverage friendships with group members to get things done for the group or do something in a meeting now and then. Recruiting volunteers is a great way to draw in a regular visitor or disconnected group member. But when it's the only type of help a group leader has in his or her group, the future is looking dim, whether the leader realizes it or not.

Constantly asking people in your group to help in one way or another will eventually wear you out. It also may be considered a favor by the person volunteering to help you (instead of the group). If you are unable to reciprocate in a personal and possibly a sacrificial way, the member may feel abused or simply be unwilling to volunteer in the future.

Adding group ownership to the volunteerism you probably already do is great for your group—and you as well. Invite everyone in your group to join a core team that decides "who will do what by when" for the group meetings and members between meetings. By meeting monthly for an hour or so to make plans for the next six weeks of group life, it will remove any burden of leadership you may be experiencing and give others a strong sense of ownership for the group's success.

Here's a few thoughts and tips about leading with a team vs. leading a group with just volunteerism:

Continue reading Volunteerism or Ownership?...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 9:22 AM on May 19, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 15, 2009

Christian Community and Cultural Diversity

Learn how to reach the world without leaving your small group

by Dan Lentz

Regardless of where you live, chances are your community is more ethnically and culturally diverse than it was just a few years ago. Because of this, your church/small group is better positioned to reach the world than it’s ever been. In some cases, the world has literally moved into your neighborhood. Inviting your neighbor to your small group might also mean you have a direct connection to an extended family half-way around the world. However, with this opportunity comes the reality that multi-cultural small groups require us to be more aware of how to live in Christian community across the cultures.

I recently returned from the NEXT 2009 Saddleback Small Groups Conference in Atlanta hosted at Victory World Church. Victory is a unique church of small groups with nearly 100 different nations represented in this diverse congregation. You can read Victory’s vision here.

While there, I had the chance to talk with my good friend Dave Mennen of Bridges International about some of the unique aspects of Christian community and discipleship in culturally diverse small groups. You can listen-in on our conversation by clicking the link below:

Dave Mennen interview.mp3

posted by Dan Lentz at 12:48 PM on May 15, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

May 8, 2009

Coffee Shopping

Selling Jesus before work

by Rick Howerton

Note: In the next few weeks, we'll be introducing some "blogging all stars" from the world of small-groups ministry. Having gotten to know Rick Howerton a little bit in the past year, I can say without doubt that he is passionate about small groups. He works at LifeWay Resources and blogs at Serendipity's group-centered blog: The Gypsy Road.

I sat down at a coffee shop in Bardstown, Kentucky, to find multiple copies of the following note:

Beginning the Daily Grind with God at the Java Joint Café
8:30 a.m. Wednesday with the Reverend Kirk Norris

November 5, 2008 Lesson: Luke 13:1 – 9… Repentence, this is the message.
The parable is a storied example of how you and I sometimes view our situations in life. We desire instant gratification but we forget and become impatient when the results we expect are slow in fruition. Our timing is NOT God’s timing. What we must remember is that all life, physical and spiritual, requires each of us to devote our time and our energy to the nurture and care of not only our own lives but also others on this journey. Then we will reap the fruits of our labors and the blessings of God Almighty!

I asked the barista what the deal was. She explained that these notes were from her pastor. Every Wednesday at 8:30 a.m. her pastor does a very short teaching, then the individuals seated around each table answer the questions that have been placed there.

How would you go about getting something like this going? Easy:

Choose a coffee shop.

Get manager approval.

Begin promoting this opportunity with the people who are your church.

Get a team of at least 5 people, individuals who will commit to being involved for twelve months. Ask them to make it their goal to fill the place each week.

Choose a starting date and get going.

Let me know how it goes.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 3:46 PM on May 8, 2009 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

May 5, 2009

Questioning Discipleship

Why group leaders should be less information-dumpers and more question-askers.

by Heather Zempel

Note: In the next few weeks, we'll be introducing some "blogging all stars" from the world of small-groups ministry. Heather Zempel fits that description. She is Pastor of Discipleship at National Community Church, and she has been training group leaders for a long time on her own blog: Wineskins for Discipleship.

Henri Nouwen said, "We have to keep looking for the spiritual questions if we want spiritual answers." I used to think that my job as a small-group leader was to gather and dispense information. I thought small-group leadership was about controlling the message and making sure everyone knew the right answers to questions. However, the longer I plow the ground of spiritual growth, the more I'm convinced that discipleship boils down to the questions we ask more than the answers we give.

I've never researched it, but I'd love to know the percentage of Scripture devoted to Jesus' questions vs. Jesus' teaching. I bet the percentage looks a lot different from the amount of time the typical pastor engages in both of those activities. Consider the following:

Who you say that I am?

What do you want me to do?

What are you thinking in your hearts?

Do you believe I can do this?

Why are you terrified?

Those are some of the questions Jesus asked, and they transformed the lives of the people that he asked them to. He asked questions that are confusing, disturbing, realigning, and transforming.

Continue reading Questioning Discipleship...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 10:57 AM on May 5, 2009 | Comments (4) | Trackbacks (0)

April 28, 2009

Free Membership Time

We want to hear your story, and we want to reward you for telling us.

by Sam O'Neal

Okay, if you have been paying attention to this blog for any amount of time, you have heard me talk about our YouTube channel. This was designed to be a way for people to share their stories about small-group life with others in a new and interesting way. This was also supposed to be a way for us to give away a few free memberships to SmallGroups.com.

Well, there has not been much sharing so far. In fact, there has been none outside of my co-workers. And there have been no free memberships given away—not yet.

But we are not giving up! Below you will see the video that introduces our "question of the month" for April. The original idea was to select five people at random who participated and give them free memberships to SmallGroups.com. But since no-one has participated, and the deadline of May 2 is drawing close, I'll change things up a bit.

The first five people to upload a video and send us a link will get a free membership to SmallGroups.com. Here's the question you'll be answering:

To be one of the first five, all you have to do is record yourself answering that question. You can use an expensive video camera or your cell phone—it doesn't matter. Then, you just need to upload that video to YouTube. Once it's there, click the "send video" button and send it to us at "inspiringcommunity." Or you can just e-mail the link to me at "smallgroups at christianitytoday.com".

It's easy, and the first five videos will receive a free membership. Let's see what you can do!

posted by Sam O'Neal at 10:03 AM on April 28, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

April 8, 2009

Failure or Success in Ministry?

Team ministry can make unnecessary failure, um...not necessary

by Dan Lentz

Is failure an option in ministry? That's an interesting question. For instance, some would point out Biblical examples of prophets who were called to proclaim God's message to people who would never listen or yield. Imagine a whole ministry career spent doing something that had minimal impact on the people of their time.

Others would say God wastes nothing, including failure. He redeems it for His purposes. Even prophets, whose messages were never received in their day are still speaking today, and lives today are being changed as a result.

So, it could be said, God doesn't distinguish between success and failure. He uses both for His glory and purpose.

But then the question becomes: Is there unnecessary failure in ministry today? Certainly any failure, regardless of the cause, can be redeemed by God. But do we make failure more of an option than we should? Do we excuse poor ministry performance with too much ease?

Continue reading Failure or Success in Ministry?...

posted by Dan Lentz at 10:20 PM on April 8, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 30, 2009

Mission vs. Maintenance

When you don’t know what to do, there’s only one thing to do

by Dan Lentz

I suppose it's an age old leadership question, but it's always relevant: How do you balance the tension between mission and maintenance? This question comes up commonly in an overall organizational sense. For instance: Do we invest our time maintaining existing small groups even though many of our current groups seem like the frozen-chosen or, do we pour our time and energy into developing completely new small groups even though our group failure rate may be high because of the lack of equipped leaders?

The easy answer is to say: "Do both maintenance and mission." And, I think at some levels, you probably can focus on both. But, the question of maintenance vs. mission has fewer easy answers in the context of individual relational ministry. Try a few of these situations on for size...

Continue reading Mission vs. Maintenance...

posted by Dan Lentz at 7:44 AM on March 30, 2009 | Comments (3) | Trackbacks (0)

March 13, 2009

New Book Day!

by Sam O'Neal

Sitting%20at%20the%20Feet%20of%20Rabbie%20Jesus.jpg

One of the benefits of working at Christianity Today International is that the various editors around here receive a lot of review copies of books. Most of the time the books are outside my range of interest—I saw one the other day called The Truth Shall Make You Rich, for example.

But today is different. Today I got a copy of Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus, and I am pumped!

You might not have heard of this book yet, but I've been aware of it for a while. I am a very big fan of learning about the cultural contexts in which the Bible was written. It was a completely different world when Jesus entered the scene. And learning about how differently the Jews of his day viewed the world can be very enlightening when it comes to understanding his words and actions.

I'll post more as I start reading.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 4:48 PM on March 13, 2009 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

March 9, 2009

Small-Group Covenants: Part 2

The covenant components that team-building experts agree have to be in there

by Dan Lentz

I’m a member of our local church’s senior leadership team. We’ve been re-exploring our group covenant together. It’s important to us because we are team led—we don’t have the traditional senior pastor role in our org. structure. The process has prompted me to do some fresh research into group covenants, particularly as they relate to leadership groups. I wanted to see what some leading folks in the area of team-based leadership said were the critical components of a group covenant (over and above the basic small group covenant components I mentioned in my last post).

I chose six folks I considered experts in the area of leadership groups and read their stuff (if you’re interested in names, these folks were: Pat Lencioni, Ken Blanchard, George Cladis, Dave Ferguson, Dan Reeves, and Bill Thrall). It’s interesting that not all these folks advocated the use of a group covenant when it came to forming leadership teams, but they all advocated having values defined, mission buy-in, and behavior expectations in place within the group.

Continue reading Small-Group Covenants: Part 2...

posted by Dan Lentz at 10:05 AM on March 9, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

March 5, 2009

Small-Group Covenants: Part 1

Why it's vitally important that your leadership group has its act together

by Dan Lentz

Like many of you, I'm part of the leadership team of our local church. As a Servant Team (that's what we call our leadership group), we've been re-exploring our covenant together. Many of you will already be familiar with small-group covenants or agreements. There are many versions of covenants, however, most all of them include these basic components:

Why we exist (life-change, Bible study, task group, fellowship, etc.)

What we do (socials, service projects, outreaches, retreats, eat snacks, etc.)

How we relate (including expectations about the priority of participation and attendance, confidentiality about group discussions, accessibility of members to each other, accountability between members, and openness of the group to new members)

When we meet (frequency, time, do we take breaks, etc.)

Where we meet (location, how we handle childcare, etc.)

Continue reading Small-Group Covenants: Part 1...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:01 AM on March 5, 2009 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

March 2, 2009

First Five Responses Get a Free Membership

So read this quickly!

by Sam O'Neal

We've got a mini-dilemma happening here at the SmallGroups.com International Headquarters. A little more than a month ago, we decided to create a YouTube channel as a way to help our readers exchange stories about small-groups ministry.

The idea was to feature a new question every month, and then have readers (such as you) record little videos that answered those questions and upload them on YouTube. As an incentive for participation (and to get the ball rolling on the videos), we decided to randomly award a free SmallGroups.com membership to five people who participated each month.

Here's a little video we put together to introduce the idea:

Continue reading First Five Responses Get a Free Membership...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 4:04 PM on March 2, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

January 27, 2009

Relational Evangelism—Rebooting for 2009

That "Great Commission" thing still applies, right?

by Randall Neighbour

Continue reading Relational Evangelism—Rebooting for 2009...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 11:00 AM on January 27, 2009 | Comments (3) | Trackbacks (0)

Campaign Half-Life

Two tough questions for churches using small-group campaigns

by Dan Lentz

I continue to be amazed at how many churches are using "campaigns" to launch new small groups in their churches. I'm not talking about political campaigns, which are so prominent in the news right now. I'm talking about Campaigns like "40 Days of Purpose," the "50 Day Spiritual Adventure," and the like.

The idea behind a Campaign is to create church-wide unity, enthusiasm, and momentum. This is done through prayer, teaching, evangelism, special events, and personal devotions that are all aligned with the campaign themes. Many new small groups have been successfully launched using these Campaigns as a way to get unconnected people into new or existing small groups.

Once the campaign period ends, however, there is normally a slow fade-out of the energy that was created. And once the energy fades, churches are faced with several new questions. How do we maintain support for new groups? How do we keep training new leaders?

In other words, churches must wrestle with that dreaded question: What do we do now?

Continue reading Campaign Half-Life...

posted by Sam O'Neal at 10:17 AM on January 27, 2009 | Comments (1) | Trackbacks (0)

January 26, 2009

Introducing Sam O'Neal

Say hello to one of our Small-Group Dynamics Editorial Advisors.

by Sam O'Neal

Sam O'Neal is the Managing Editor of SmallGroups.com and SmallGroupDynamics.com. Sam oversees the planning and coordination of all content featured on the site and this blog.

Sam has a passion for seeing discipleship and full-bodied Christian education done right in the local church - especially in the context of small-group communities. He has been married to a wonderful woman named Jessica for over five years, and he thoroughly enjoys their young son, Daniel.

Sam is also a rabid fan of the Chicago Bears.

You can contact Sam by clicking here.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 2:04 PM on January 26, 2009 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

Introducing JoHannah Reardon

Say hello to one of our Small-Group Dynamics Editorial Advisors.

by Sam O'Neal

JoHannah Reardon is the associate editor for ChristianBibleStudies.com, an online Bible study site where over 125,000 leaders, students, and teachers come to learn and apply God's Word. JoHannah says, "I receive hundreds of e-mails from Bible students from around the world, giving me a good idea of the global spiritual climate. Christians everywhere feel a need to connect over God's Word, and our site helps their spiritual formation."

Besides writing, editing, and assigning Bible studies, JoHannah has ghostwritten two books, written content for the Couples' Devotional Bible, and has been published in several magazines. She also speaks at writer's conferences across the nation.

JoHannah is a pastor's wife, the mother of three, and a grandmother of two.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 1:56 PM on January 26, 2009 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

December 23, 2008

Introducing Dan Lentz

Say hello to one of our Small-Group Dynamics Editorial Advisors

by Sam O'Neal

Dan Lentz is Director of the Small-Group Network -- a network of small-group leaders, churches, small-group resource providers, and other Christian organizations originally brought together at SmallGroups.com to provide an online place for training and support for group leaders and directors.

Over the years, Dan been has been a church planter, small-groups pastor, and has served in a variety of roles within small-groups ministries. He is also author of Let's Get Started: How to Begin Your Small-Groups Ministry.

Dan's family small group consists of his wife, Kim, and their three children: Sam, Katie, and Grace.

You can contact Dan by clicking here.

posted by Sam O'Neal at 10:55 AM on December 23, 2008 | Comments (4) | Trackbacks (0)